How do you know you miss the person or the benefits/intimacy it brought?

I dated a girl for around a month and it was really nice. Went out a lot, cuddled etc I just felt like I somehow connected to her in a deeper lvl its been really long since I felt that way. Now it ended because of work and I haven't really seen her since a month and I must say I kinda started to think about her quite often.

I dont want to tell her this, as she was the one who doesn't have time bec of her new job and ended things and I dont want to chase (I dont care if it was an excuse or the truth, a no is a no in the end).

I just want to get it clear in my head. I miss having someone to connect to, hold hands etc stuff couples do but I don't know if im just thinking of her as she's the closest one to be that person in the recent years or if I am just touch/love depraved basically.

Updates

1 y

Or if I miss her as a person but I don't know I know her for longer but always saw her as a friend until recently. We never hang out much tho so I barely knew her and only got closer on a trip toghether after which we started dating.

Anonymous

(25-29)

I’m in the same boat, she hasn’t left and seems quite interested in me though, but I’d be lying if I said I believe all the cheesy shit she says. I noticed people will rush into things, without understanding the situation or thinking about what they’re saying, my guess would be the girl you talked to found another guy, but for a girl to sit there and do all that, cuddling movies date nights, then to just end it because some different guy came around, or even because of work, like what was the point. Sometimes I think women just use men as play things when they’re convenient and have 0 issue tossing them aside the second something bigger and better comes along, because they’re not interested at all for forming a connection and falling in love, they just want what they can’t have and they want to be hurt and fucked. There’s not many genuine women around anymore. I thought the same question you have, do I like them because I actually like them? Or just because I’m depraved, and I can almost certainly say it’s depravity, the FIRST girl that came my way, I hang out with, snuggle with blah blah just like you, and it’s got me questioning if I like her a little too much, but I realized we don’t like these women, we think they like us, and that’s enough to give meaning to insignificant things, like cuddling, laughing blah blah, it’s all a sham. I don’t love these women, I don’t trust these women, and I no longer have interest in dating or wasting my time and money I’ll never get back on these creatures. Being alone sucks, but so does endlessly being hurt and used and shit on by women, who give 0 fucks about your but will gladly lie and pretend to keep you around while you’re convenient.

Asker

1 y
Like I said idc what the reason was. I do not think its another guy however her new job is really demanding and she isn't responding much to anyone atm.
I dont blame her either, you can't force feelings if there are none. Its just that women do tend to lie after ending things (we can still be friends, maybe again in a few months, etc) to take the impact away. When you realize that you have to watch/judge their actions not their words, you will feel much better and less confused.

Anyways I think your view on women in that regard are wrong, there are bad apples for sure but you have those in every bunch here and there. Like I dont think theyre better or worse when it comes to handling relationships than we men do.

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Opinion Owner

1 y
You can't blindly believe she ended it for work. I work 90 hours a week, I still make plenty of time for the girl I’m dating. We talk all the time AND I still manage to somehow hangout with her at least 4 days a week. The work excuse is such a low effort bs excuse. If she liked you her job wouldn’t deter her from continuing on how you were, she would work around it, I get it, you like her and don’t see bad in her, but that will get you hurt real good, cause what if you were with her for 6 months? 2 years? And she broke it off. It’s what they do. Thinking there’s only a few bad apples isn’t the problem, it’s not inherently BAD to want the best for yourself, BUT it is bad to waste peoples time knowing you aren’t serious, which no one is, I think outta all my friends maybe 1 or 2 have parents together, the majority of people cheat, lie, and waste time, that isn’t my opinion though, it’s all around us. I’ve never been cheated on or hurt yet, because I will not allow it to happen to myself like it did to you, and everyone else I know, for what? To pretend I’m in love until it catastrophically ends? Oh no I’m gonna be in love forever and get married right and be happy? Cause thats how reality works in 2024 right, where 95% of the people I know are on their 2nd marriage with someone they hate, stuck with kids alone, or cheating/being cheated on. You’re no different I’m no different, only difference is you’re willing to live in a delusional fairy tale world where you think true love and emotions exist when they rarely do. Not worth.

Reply
Asker

1 y
Like I said before idc if it was true or not, im not waiting for her.

I have not been cheated or hurt by her?

I don't know even what this last outburst was about but I get it you want to stay single and thats fine. Everyone forges their own happiness afterall.

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What Girls & Guys Said

Opinion

Anonymous
(25-29)

1 y

I’m in the same boat, she hasn’t left and seems quite interested in me though, but I’d be lying if I said I believe all the cheesy shit she says. I noticed people will rush into things, without understanding the situation or thinking about what they’re saying, my guess would be the girl you talked to found another guy, but for a girl to sit there and do all that, cuddling movies date nights, then to just end it because some different guy came around, or even because of work, like what was the point. Sometimes I think women just use men as play things when they’re convenient and have 0 issue tossing them aside the second something bigger and better comes along, because they’re not interested at all for forming a connection and falling in love, they just want what they can’t have and they want to be hurt and fucked. There’s not many genuine women around anymore. I thought the same question you have, do I like them because I actually like them? Or just because I’m depraved, and I can almost certainly say it’s depravity, the FIRST girl that came my way, I hang out with, snuggle with blah blah just like you, and it’s got me questioning if I like her a little too much, but I realized we don’t like these women, we think they like us, and that’s enough to give meaning to insignificant things, like cuddling, laughing blah blah, it’s all a sham. I don’t love these women, I don’t trust these women, and I no longer have interest in dating or wasting my time and money I’ll never get back on these creatures. Being alone sucks, but so does endlessly being hurt and used and shit on by women, who give 0 fucks about your but will gladly lie and pretend to keep you around while you’re convenient.

0

3 Reply
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Like I said idc what the reason was. I do not think its another guy however her new job is really demanding and she isn't responding much to anyone atm.
  I dont blame her either, you can't force feelings if there are none. Its just that women do tend to lie after ending things (we can still be friends, maybe again in a few months, etc) to take the impact away. When you realize that you have to watch/judge their actions not their words, you will feel much better and less confused.
  
  Anyways I think your view on women in that regard are wrong, there are bad apples for sure but you have those in every bunch here and there. Like I dont think theyre better or worse when it comes to handling relationships than we men do.
  
- Opinion Owner
  
  1 y
  You can't blindly believe she ended it for work. I work 90 hours a week, I still make plenty of time for the girl I’m dating. We talk all the time AND I still manage to somehow hangout with her at least 4 days a week. The work excuse is such a low effort bs excuse. If she liked you her job wouldn’t deter her from continuing on how you were, she would work around it, I get it, you like her and don’t see bad in her, but that will get you hurt real good, cause what if you were with her for 6 months? 2 years? And she broke it off. It’s what they do. Thinking there’s only a few bad apples isn’t the problem, it’s not inherently BAD to want the best for yourself, BUT it is bad to waste peoples time knowing you aren’t serious, which no one is, I think outta all my friends maybe 1 or 2 have parents together, the majority of people cheat, lie, and waste time, that isn’t my opinion though, it’s all around us. I’ve never been cheated on or hurt yet, because I will not allow it to happen to myself like it did to you, and everyone else I know, for what? To pretend I’m in love until it catastrophically ends? Oh no I’m gonna be in love forever and get married right and be happy? Cause thats how reality works in 2024 right, where 95% of the people I know are on their 2nd marriage with someone they hate, stuck with kids alone, or cheating/being cheated on. You’re no different I’m no different, only difference is you’re willing to live in a delusional fairy tale world where you think true love and emotions exist when they rarely do. Not worth.
  
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Like I said before idc if it was true or not, im not waiting for her.
  
  I have not been cheated or hurt by her?
  
  I don't know even what this last outburst was about but I get it you want to stay single and thats fine. Everyone forges their own happiness afterall.
  
Nikki1989 Follow
Mentor Age: 37 , mho 31%

1 y
18.5K opinions shared on Dating topic.

You experience a yearning or emptiness.

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1 Reply
- Asker
  
  1 y
  I guess so might need to get into dating again its just such a grind

How do you know you miss the person or the benefits/intimacy it brought?

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