What do you think of this point I have about dating single moms?

[Juxtapose]

So I want to be number one in my woman's life but how am I supposed to do that if she already has a kid that will always come before me and she will always love that kid more than me?

I don't mind a kid being there, I'm not jealous of the father or whatever. I'm just wondering how I'm supposed to be number one when she already has a kid?

I give myself fully to a lover once I trust them enough. I want to give my body, my heart and if I have a soul, give that to her as well. I want the bond to be complete, total and with nothing being prioritized above it.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

I don't think it's gonna matter if you date a single mom or just a woman without children.. once you have one with her, the children are still going to be the priority for the most part. It doesn't mean she loves you less, it's just that kids have to take the priority because of their needs. Trying to compete with children in the attention department is kinda futile.

[Juxtapose]

It's kind of weird but as long as in her heart I am "#1" I would be satisfied sacrificing for the children because of their greater need if it came down to it.

[Potteplante]

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

Fy for satan herre pædofil. Jaloux på børn. Fy for satan en little simp for en kælling det skal være uden børn for evigt, fordi du er en lille mide der ikke kan klare sig selv så ynkeligt.

Jeg behøver engang ikke at fornærme dig - du fornærmer dig selv bedre end dit forsøg på at fornærme mig. 🤣 Øj hvor er du ynkelig herre pædofil.

[Juxtapose]

The fact that you bring attraction to children into this out of nowhere makes me worried about you. Do you need to see someone? Are you having bad thoughts about children? We can talk, I'm here to help.

[Avicenna]

From an evolutionary perspective, we were never intended to have blended families or stepparent, since your own biological parents have the greatest bond with you and the greatest incentive to take care of you. The greatest danger to a child has long been know to be single moms‘ boyfriends.

[Juxtapose]

Yeah.. anyone who hurts a kid is fucked up. And bonding with a child is natural, I can only imagine the hormones.

[Avicenna]

Yup…..

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

@Avicenna Ummm I think you're discarding a lot of anthropological findings here, tribalism in parenting is really not to overlook. We actually have all reasons to think that the family unit comprised of two parents and kids is just a recent formula

[Avicenna]

@Maybe_Maybe_not: You’re welcome to provide links to these findings for us to evaluate.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

let's go en.wikipedia.org/.../Extended_family

[Avicenna]

@Maybe_Maybe_not:, Extended families are blood relations (and it’s not like grandparents or other blood relatives don‘t take care of relatives in today‘s Western societies).

[Dongie]

I've heard this before. It's a delicate. But if you are loved and she places you anywhere near her kid, well that's big.

[Juxtapose]

It is big, but I wanna be #1.

[Dongie]

Don't we all.🙂

[RobT312]

I dont think people rank and compare kids vs spouse/partner. They are 2 different kinds of love, not competition.

i wouldn't be worried about it. I think people are capable of giving the same level of love to both kids and significant others

[Apple1996]

That's really odd. Why would you want to compete with a child to be in someone's top spot? Like personally I put even strangers kids above all adults so even regularly no adult is gonna get my full attention

[Juxtapose]

I want to be totally bond to another adult and pour my love into them. I want the same in return & no hard feelings for people who feel differently.

I know children are innocent & should be protected, that's why I would take that seriously. I would be obligated to even guard them with my life if I had any.

I personally want someone who will actually be with me cus kids move out, I moved out of home myself , etc. Who am I gonna lay with at night and have be there for me most often? My woman. I want my strongest bond to be with her.

[Apple1996]

That's gonna be difficult to find. Most people aren't gonna put their partner at the top of their list. Like I put kids before myself so I don't even see how a partner could come over kids or the close 2nd of myself. Partner is always gonna be 3rd spot 🤷‍♀️

[Juxtapose]

Yes that is true, I am an unusual person so it comes with the territory. People can do what they want, there's plenty of them out there so I can keep lookin' & even if not oh well. I have great friends and family 👍

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

It has already been said, but yes, you can't expect to "beat" or compete with unconditional bond of any parent. You can work with it, but not override in any way. And, kids in the equation or not, when someone actually engages into an unconditional bond with you, then... I think you may look at a second mother popping up, it's maybe not a good idea to sleep with your second mother 😅

[Juxtapose]

I don't recall romantic feelings being normal to have for your mother. What I am describing is not that uncommon, just look at the Romeo and Juliet fantasy and how much that appeals to people. A bond that transcends everything else is appealing to a lot of people but I will admit the majority of people aren't that lofty.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Art and in that case romanticism in art is fantasy, fantasy is not reality unless crossing lines, it is possible to cross this line, and I have crossed it when looking back. As a matter of fact, I think romance and unconditional love form an inherent bad mix, in my experience, as it is an intolerable pressure for both parties, which precipitates the fall.

That being said, life is about experience, pushing conclusions before experience doesn't work, for all I know :D

[Juxtapose]

I know other people have gotten such a bond to work and I see no reason why I am personally incapable of having such a thing. That is my lifelong dream and I would rather have that bond over superpowers, changing the world or any of that. It is my ultimate desire and there is absolutely nothing I can do to change that. Nor do I want to.

[Juxtapose]

And really it's not that much pressure if they actually like me. Just stay with me for as long and as best as you can. If it is true then it will remain.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

We'll then talk about the aftermaths of your experience, when it'll happen, maybe I'll be surprised, maybe not :)

[Juxtapose]

I'm probably not going to find such a person. I'm too neurologically different from normal people so my dating pool is really small. I'm probably going to die alone but it doesn't mean I'm not going to try!

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I second this philosophy very much !

[Juxtapose]

The philosophy of trying anyway?

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Oui !

[Juxtapose]

Yeah fuck being a bitch and giving up your dreams.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

This is something to think about good things and bad things could come out of this. As I see things it's a complete package deal, a Mother with a Child and I got to consider a lot of things?

[Berethor]

So you against kids in general? I just don't like the idea is raising another man's kid.

[Juxtapose]

The aspect of children I like the least is them being put before me. I want the love of my life to truly be the love of my life and for nobody to come in between us.

She can love people dearly all she wants but I want to be number one in her life. That doesn't mean she would have to neglect kids for me or anything, it's just she loves me the most.

[Justneedtokno]

This might be an unpopular opinion Honestly, I think single parents should date other single parents. I think it’s unfair that people that don’t have kids are dating people that have kids like these ready-made families.

[Vegasrunner]

If she has a kid you can't be number o e which is why it's foolish to date single moms

[Juxtapose]

Yeah that's kind of what I was thinking. Nothing against single moms, I respect their struggle and duties. I just don't want to be second place.

[Vegasrunner]

@Juxtapose Nothing wrong w/ that. In fact that's smart on your part, eventhough many will try to shame you for not accepting a woman for her mistakes.

[LazerBean]

I agree. People should stick to others in their own league and who have similar life experiences.

[WhitneySnow]

Then you’re right. You definitely shouldn’t date someone with a kid. It’s not fair to you, her or the kid.

[noohair]

If you had a kid, do you think that the child does not become number one in your life.

[Juxtapose]

The kid is not going to be close to me the same way my lover is. My lover will hold me at night and love me like nobody else can or should. They will be with me long after the kid leaves.

[noohair]

Wait until you have one.

[Juxtapose]

I'm not cruel enough to pass on my autism.

[slatyb]

You don't owe anyone a date. Date whoever you like. You don't have to explain your choice to anyone.

[DextroShade]

Dear single moms

[ManInChains]

This topic makes women angry 🤣 I love it

[Juxtapose]

Especially that foreign lady hahaha 🤣

[worldscolide]

I won't date single moms for similar reasons. Plus I don't want my heart broken twice.