I'm 31 and mom wants me to find someone quicker when I haven't met any guys since my breakup 2 years ago. Where do I meet men and why the pressure?

[Anonymous]

Updates

1 y

I understand that I desire to be married but I don't like the way it's put on me to find someone right away. What if I stumble on the wrong person because I'm rushing?

[Finchie40]

Don’t listen to your Mom , your Mom just doesn’t like seeing you alone , so just ignore her. Because rushing into a relationship is sadly a stupid mistake that most people tend to do , without looking at the big picture first. It’s ok to date someone and choose that person but do not rush into a commitment with that person until you feel 100 percent sure you want to be with that person for the long haul over the short haul. Get past the infatuation period first before making it official. Because the honest truth is some people change and decide oh wait , I don’t want to be with this person anymore , this other person understands me more and really has more in common with me so who cares about breaking the other person’s heart because they rather be with this other person instead. Every relationship I rushed in with a girl has turned to complete shit because we both didn’t look at the big picture , we were just infatuated with each other , but when push come to shove , we really didn’t have that much in common , just the attraction and the sex mainly. Most people will pretend they have a lot of the same interest as you, because they are infatuated by you and attracted to you and think Wow this is new and exciting to them , so they stop doing the things they really enjoyed doing to appease the other person. I have experienced band witnessed this happen so many times to the point I no longer rush into a relationship with a girl. For a relationship to last and for love to grow , 2 people need to choose each other no matter what , they both have to make each other their top priority and learn to remove selfishness for each other. If someone can’t remove selfishness for you , you won’t be able to remove it for them unless you want to be treated like a convenience but that’s up to you. My wife after 20 years has decided to become selfish and piss our marriage away now that the kids are older and she no longer wants to be committed to me. So we separated and I am back to square one on whether I want another relationship again or not , I just been taking things slow and mainly looking for a girl that is on the same page as me , FWB’s with some strings attached mainly

[Asker]

That must be tough I did see people who gave into pressure get divorced quickly sorry to hear that

[bowenw]

If you live at home, she may want you out of the house.
Take your time and do what is best for you. It's your life, not hers. Men are everywhere. Just keep living your life and sooner or later you will meet a good one.

[Asker]

I don't live with them anymore

[bowenw]

Her friends may be asking about you all the time and she wants to be able to tell them you are married. That is still not your problem.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[slatyb]

Pressure? Probably she wants grandchildren. Where? Depends where you live. Try outdoor activity groups or classes, or co-rec sports, or ballroom dance groups like swing or salsa.

[Asker]

New York I've tried groups but no luck

[slatyb]

Sorry, that's about all I have. Ask your girlfriends?

[Asker]

Other single women are clueless

[Oncewildtwiceburned]

Then go online and use dating apps. I don’t know who these old guys on here are who tell women to not have kids or get married but they’re probably Epstein fellows if you know what I mean. Usually its your gfs telling you not to settle, misery loves company.

If you are Christian use a Christian dating app, if you are arab, use an arab one, there are literally datings sites that filter people for you.

[spartan55]

You said you're 31 which is really weird because you're profile and indicates you are 37. I'm confused. What does it mean?

[noohair]

I guess she wants a grand child or thinks you need a man to survive. Either way it is unreasonable pressure.

[LiamJHayden]

Take your own time with a decision like that.

[MasterKS]

Club is the best place to start with, enjoy your life!

[msc545]

Don't rush into anything like this.

[Asker]

You think so?

[OddBeMe]

Give me a call.

[In_Trance]

Your profile says 37