He says he loves me but gets scared to meet up?

[CuriousABC]

I'm very confused and don't know if it's me being a fool, or if I've done something wrong, or if it's him.

I (female 43) have a friend (male 44) who I've been friends with for 24 years. 3 weeks ago, via text, he told me he loves me, always has done and wants to date me (even mentioned marriage). We're both currently single. He's only ever had one girlfriend, and has been single for the best part of 15 years.

He's always had self-esteem issues and has never really had much confidence around girls.

So, I suggested meeting up to go for and informal "date", meet up, GP see a film, and get something to eat. Initially he said yes, he'd love to do that, and we picked a film we both really wanted to see and set the day. But, as it got closer, he stopped responding to me. This was just over a week ago now, and I left it as I dodn't want to pester him or seen to chasing him. I've not heard from him since.

Lovely guys out there, please help me to understand what's going on. Any ideas why he's stopped talking to me suddenly? Was it me forcing the met up?

[ProbablyClueless]

My dating/social life (life in general, as well, but my social and dating lives especially) got so much simpler once I started applying 2 life approaches:

1. It's either an enthusiastic yes, or it's a no.

2. People actually do the things they want to do.

Now, think about your situation. Have you and your guy each communicated an enthusiastic yes to the idea of meeting up together? Okay, now what about follow through?

The reality is that relationships take two people putting in effort. Regardless of whether this guy actually loves you, he's not giving you any forward momentum.

[CuriousABC]

I can relate to this. I had a guy say very recently that he wanted to date me, so arranged the day and what we'd do, then got nothing from him. So it never happened. I don't really know what to do

[ProbablyClueless]

I can relate to that too! You're just sitting there with a huge question mark. Because why wouldn't you? You just had a fully grown adult that votes and reproduces affirmatively make plans with you that he has inexplicably not followed through on. What the hell are you supposed to do with that?

[StevenMcGarrett]

Hmm, very shy guy. I would reach out to him one more time and say hey, you said you love me, let's get together. There must be something holding him back but for some reason, he wants to keep it inside. Let him know, that it is safe to talk to you and you were never tell anyone about his secrets. Hopefully, that will push him to meet you. Good luck.

[Avicenna]

He wants to be your partner and is afraid he’s going to push you away

[bowenw]

I suggest you don't talk to him again other than tell him if he's interested he should show up on your doorstep and not waste any more of your time.

[Iron_Man]

24 years later? Come on

[CuriousABC]

Could you elaborate please?

[Iron_Man]

Nothing has happened in 24 years. Nothing will friends are just friends.

[Anonymous]

He is 44 or 14?

WTF?