Is hookup culture becoming more common?

Question

Whereas once people went out and met each other; had fun and courtship, rarely hooking up, now people hook up first which replaces courtship, to see if there’s chemistry on the first few dates, then they later decide whether or not they want it to become more than a hook up?

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I don't understand what you mean by "hook up". Do you mean sex for sex sake or sex without a long "courtship" and a promise of commitment?

I started dating when I was 15. I got together with my first girlfriend in 1970 when I was 16. We became infatuated and started having sex within a week or two. But I wasn't planning on marriage or looking for "the one". I just liked girls (pretty girls) and sex.

She had been in one, short-term relationship before we met and had a pregnancy scare. So she wasn't a virgin and was on the pill. I experienced sex for the first time with her.

It wasn't just about sex, though. I liked her as a best friend. We hung out, went places and did things together, laughed, played, had fun. We talked, held hands, walked with our arms around each other, and hugged and kissed romantically like boyfriend and girlfriend.

That's how it was with all my subsequent girlfriends. We were attracted to each other physically but also liked each other a lot. We started having sex very early on, became deeply infatuated, and began long-term, monogamous relationships. Once I had a girlfriend, I stopped looking for other girls. I didn't cheat and neither did they.

By the way, all my girlfriends were on the pill to prevent accidental pregnancy, so we had lots of amazing, spontaneous sex.

Every girl I knew from adolescence on wanted a boyfriend. And guys wanted a girlfriend.

Those girls did dream of marriage and I guess most guys did, too. Some couples got married young. But I thought I was too young to make that life-long commitment. And I wasn't interested in being a parent.

Would you consider that "hook up culture" even though I didn't plan on settling down?
Because I couldn't be more grateful to those girlfriends. I got to learn about life and gain experiences, knowledge and wisdom along the way. And so did they.

They eventually got married and had kids.

I didn't start thinking about finding a life-long partner and settling down until I was in my early 30s.

When I was 34, I met a 32 year old and lived with her for almost a year. That relationship wonderful at first, but turned bad.

When I was 36, I met a 30 year old and we wound up living together for almost two years. She was the first woman I ever loved with my heart and soul and every fiber of my being. She loved me, too. She was my ideal.

Unfortunately, we could not be life-long partners for reasons that are too complicated to explain. We wound up separating even though we loved each other.

Being away from her was the greatest pain I have ever experienced in my life. It took over a year for me to pull myself together and get on with my life.

Then I met my future wife. I was 40 and she was 37. She had a very full and fulfilling life before we met. Yes, she had had boyfriends but had never been married or had kids.

We've been happily married now for 28 years, had LOTS of fun, and built a wonderful life together. We are dedicated to each other and to our marriage, and are partners for life.

So does hook up mean sex without commitment to marriage?

I obviously don't think sex in one's life prevents one from committing to marriage once they are ready. Sex is wonderful as long as it isn't self abusive.

Billlewis · Accepted Answer

Of course it is.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

Modern hookup "culture" has been going on since the 1960s, when the sexual revolution began revolting. That's more than 60 years. And that wasn't even the first instances of hookups. They've always been an undercurrent.

But people test-driving each other sexually to see if they work out? There's little sense to that. True, you want to feel you have some sexual chemistry. But often, when you've just met or had sex for the first time, there IS little to no chemistry. So why write someone off you don't know, and don't feel comfortable with?

Often, people have their best sex with partners they know and whom they love deeply. This is hard to do during a casual hookup, so using hookup sex as a "test" is unwise.

Do you fall in love with a car on a test drive, or, after you've learned its bells and whistles on a long trip?

I favor taking the time to learn about the person and their sexual proclivities. Also, it's also according to how important either or both are to you.

Daniela1982 · Accepted Answer

Sometimes it takes a year or so for a hook-up relationship to discover that sex is all they had in common. And you wonder why few marriages last more than 5 years these days. When you play, you pay. The piper that is.

Finchie40 · Answer

Yes mainly because of social media and the way society is today with barely anyone trusting each other and barely respecting each other , Society has pretty much became very selfish to the point most people do not know how to give the same way they want to receive , they just do what they think is best for themselves, I feel social media played a big part as to why society is the way it is today compared to how society was before social media was even really a thing. People actually respected and trusted and valued each other more compared to how it is today , it’s like we are just an option to choose from , who cares about STD’s and who cares about someone else’s’ heart , let’s just fuck and go live our own lives. It’s pretty pathetic to be honest with you and it just shows how pathetic we are as people. If you want to experience love you have to learn to remove selfishness from inside yourself to be able to give to your partner the same way you want them doing for you , treat them like your number 1 priority the same way you want them doing for you , of not it will not work period. Honesty trust and respect goes a long way

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Yes... it's become a thing... which means it's growing.

I guess people just want to fuck.

I blame feminism... basically become a man philosophy, work like them, pay taxes like them, and fuck like them. Not my problem that the women seem to love it. I get more pussy now with less effort. Thanks feminism. But for ladies that had dreams of a long term relationship and kids with a Dad... But feminism.! Men are shit remember? Fuck the patriarchy and all that and now get your ass back to work because the government wants those sweet sweet tax dollars.

Oh... you wanted a man that made tons of money and could find work... feminism! you stupid sexist! They can't get a job or get paid for them like before because you took those jobs and are now their compitition. Work bitch work, and pay us those yummy yummy tax dollars... because fuck the patriarchy... am I rite?

Anonymous · Answer

Hookups have generally been declining in popularity especially since Covid.

However why it appears that it’s popular is because more people who are doing it are open to telling others it’s what they’re doing.

The number of men doing hookups as a whole has reduced as over 1/3 of men are celibate with around half that number involuntary celibate. Low testosterone levels in men are to blame. However what’s happening is the men that are into doing hookups are hooking up with more girls and some may hookup with 1 woman at a time but replace her after a short time, there are men that will have up to 3-6 hookups at any one time.

The number of girls who are looking for hookups has more or less remained constant as not all girls can cope with a hookup.

I’m into doing hookups, generally have 4-5 hookups at any single time. Currently have 4.

1st :- She is a longer term hookup, Now 3 years, I took her virginity on a ONS, decided to keep her as a hookup and mainly use her as the on I do unprotected sex with, we live in the same apartment so sex is quite frequent and I sort of treat her as a “practice girl” for foreplay and thrusting.

2nd : She is the longest hookup, 7 years now, 4 of those years she been married and recently become a mom. We used to do it more frequently before she married, now we do it once every other Thursday as she sort of needs the feel of my much bigger sized manhood in her. No romantic type actions just purely sex and she leaves.

3rd : She is a fairly recent hookup, a married woman who wants to have some fun.

4th : I travel to the town she lives in, she’s quite young at 22 and also a widow of 2 small kids, I see her to satisfy some needs and enjoy doing her.

texascollegegirl · Answer

I think there is a language thing here. I don't see what you are talking about as hooking up. Why would dating be needed to hook up? I have sex with a lot of big dick Blacks, but I never go on dates with them because I already have a boyfriend. I realize I am from a small, conservative town and a racist family, but now that I'm in college we call it hooking up. Hooking up can be just deciding in a few minutes that we have what the other wants physically right then, say like going to the basketball courts knowing there will be guys there who have what I want but not which ones yet. That's hooking up to us.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

I think it peaked a little bit ago tbh. Maybe it's just my age (getting out of the military/college life) and I've matured.

I see a lot of people though pushing against hookup culture and pushing marriage both in religious and secularly. I wasn't seeing this stuff at all 6 years ago when I was a horny idiot but nor was I thinking in that direction.

As I said I think it's peaked but even though it's in decline it's still common because a societal decline takes time. I could be very wrong though, naturally you're older than me and a female so your personal experience with men older than myself might be a better indicator 🤷‍♂️

Anonymous · Answer

In my experience yes. In my experience women talk sex with you before they even get your name anymore. It's quite a turnoff.

And I'm not trying to label women or insult women with this post. I'm simply saying this is this feels like the majority of women anymore. And if this is how something begins it doesn't give a guy much hope for a healthy loving relationship. I hope try to tell myself it's just the worst women being the loudest.

I feel like a lot of people do not want a partner they just want a fixture in their life. I feel like a lot of people don't even look at the person they're with as another person.

katiesmuff · Answer

Hooking up has been around in huge numbers no for a very long time. Lot of it is people are not that interested in getting into a you and me relationship that quickly any longer and the hook up is just for some physical satisfaction then likely move on.

Gwendoline · Answer

No. I think it's now the norm. I waited until I was married for sex and would never cheat, that is no longer common. The old ways are no more but I think there are younger ones growing up that see the benefits of the old ways you know loyalty, honour etc and the personel cost of abandoning them.

Zack-Bann · Answer

It reached peak about 10 years ago and hasn’t slowed down since

At this point it’s not hookup culture it’s just the culture we live in

That being said an individual can still chose a more traditional approach that’s still a thing

strateguy632 · Answer

Your paragraph is wrong because They didn't swap the order.

Insted they are very selected picky for relationships so,

during the long wait...

they sleep with the people who they won't date! (Rymes).

Songs describe this:

"I may hate myself in the morning but im gonna love you tonite"

"Lets go all, the way tonight , no regrets, just love".

Describes contemporary western culture.

paledreams · Answer

I'll say the opposite - a cafe or an eatery or even a dating app or whatever public place is one way to strike up a relationship with a stranger lol or even friends of friends - however I'd say that, ultimately a hookup can't completely fill the unstoppable craving of wanting an actual, keeper. An actual keeper. And a clean one at that 🫧🫧🫧🫧 bubbles clean 🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧

SweetPi · Answer

It's more black and white now! Your either a tinder hook up couple who won't last 2 dates till they are friends with benefits or never talk. The other is a courting couple who dates for 6 months and gets serious...

Oncewildtwiceburned · Answer

Men are more pressured to have sex early when dating than women are. Like the first to second date, I was old fashioned after my divorce in my twenties and I couldn’t even get it up for the first few that tried to sleep with me. It became easy later and mind you this was 8+ years ago to about 5 years ago.

I will say its just some men, but I can’t remember a date that wanted to wait at least more than the second date. Hot ones to mid ones.

Mountains4You · Answer

I feel like it peaked a while ago and it’s on the decline. More people are playing the long game these days. Last 2 women I dated, refused to have sex with me. The first one said her limit was dry humping and oral. The second one would only let one leg rest on me, it felt weird.

Anonymous · Answer

hookup culture is more or less the same due to hoeflation

truly monogamous relationships are becoming rare due to divorces and breakups over even minuet differences. open relationships, polyamory and cuckoldry are becoming common amongst some of the couples that don't breakup or divorce

red324 · Answer

I landed tons of tinder dates where I never got past one or two dates. Always, kind of wondered if they just wanted sex and nothing else. I think some did, although none of them ever came right out and said it though, but in my opinion it's kind of a turn off. Let's go on 3 or 4 dates then have sex

superchan2011 · Answer

it is as more and more people become afraid of commitment or of getting hurt, but yet wanna have the physical intimacy that's included in a real relationship.

WhitneySnow · Answer

No. I think it’s still around but it’s becoming less popular. At least at my college.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I think it's more that people are just exhausted with dating, so they're abstaining from the process entirely.

Rangers · Answer

It sure is, I used to engage in it during the 2018-2019 period, as I went to nightclubs. I don't believe in it, anymore, but one person rejecting it is a drop in the bucket

DextroShade · Answer

It is only becoming more common for women and a small minority of men who are Chads. The vast majority of men aren't regularly hooking up with women and 1 in 3 are sexless.

Kayleigh2005 · Answer

So many of my friends are addicted to the falling in love phase, and moves on, smh.

SiegmundWalsung · Answer

Yes. And thank fucking God for that. No more waiting until you're stuck with each other to find out if you're compatible. 🤢🤢

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

It does happen, but that's only for those who look for just a hook-up.

exitseven · Answer

Yes, it was not even a thing when I was a kid.

RHK36 · Answer

It's always been around, but definitely happens more nowadays. It was easier to hide it back then and now it's easier to find it.

CoolCatMar1 · Answer

Unfortunately, if is more common. People have lost sanity

Nonamez · Answer

Sex is definitely moved fast forward in this modern world, has it's minuses and plusses 🤔

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Percentage wise, it's not more common than previous eras. The internet just exposes more than the past could have.

dragoblack · Answer

Absolutely, especially in the usa. Its funner to hook up than go through the stressful situation of dating and possible toxic relationships.

Shamalien · Answer

Yeah. I thought it was bad in the city but I’ve heard small towns are even worse

Shihab_91 · Answer

Men and women only need each other for sexual needs other than that each one of us has their own problem.

Chthou95 · Answer

Hookup culture is only for women and a small select few of men who are in the top 20%. Most men aren't partaking in it

Anonymous · Answer

I’m celibate. People don’t know how to love. So I’m not gonna get involved with them.

Twalli · Answer

It is, because virginity and purity are seen as less important

MasterKS · Answer

Its always been but now it reaching sky high for sure!

Lois35 · Answer

It seems that most people don't know what an STD IS.

Tomisworthless · Answer

Women created hookup culture and falsely believe having many different partners is liberating and garnering experience. They want to be the men they desire

luvstoned4him · Answer

Yes and its ruining life for me

TheLovelyWoman · Answer

Yes. I believe so

TsundereMatrix · Answer

I think it is and I hate it.

lin123_ · Answer

i hope not, it's disgusting in my opinion

Friendlybro79 · Answer

People certainly talk more about it

DrPepper12 · Answer

Becoming? 😂😂😂 Yes.

Wise4myage · Answer

When did it ever go away?

Cheerfull009 · Answer

Yes , in non Muslim countries

BaronReagan · Answer

I don't know.

22LonleyGuy · Answer

I wish I could hook up with girls

elizamichale1 · Answer

Yea thts true

missindiana93 · Answer

Yes it is.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Yes.

Stella1990_ · Answer

I say it’s 50/50.

scott04sa22 · Answer

Yes, it is

RebeccaSJ · Answer

Yes.

LEGENDARY4200 · Answer

Yes it is

Slim57 · Answer

Yeah

Anonymous · Answer

Unfortunately yes.

Is hookup culture becoming more common?

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Why are more people into hookup culture now and not into serious relationship?

Is hookup culture becoming more common?

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Why are more people into hookup culture now and not into serious relationship?

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