Whats wrong with a "party girl" as a girlfriend?

Question

I've been told yeah I may come across as a bit of a party girl. Well... I love to go club and dance once or twice a week. I like to go out and be social. I don't smoke or do drugs tho. I drink but more at home than out. I like listening to music and being energetic.

Ideally I'd like a partner who wants to come club with me! And let me dance with him and against him! But men my age don't seem into it really. Yet also have big issue if I get the urge to go dance and say I can go by myself.

I would cut down my going out a lot to be with a partner. But I don't wanna spend every night in front of the T. V. But I think guys feel girls like me are not faithful types... maybe? When I would be.

RavVid · Accepted Answer

What you are complaining about is called is mate guarding. Girls do it as well as guys and so a number of animal species. Birds are big on it.

I think we just have to accept mate guarding is part of a relationship and should not only be accepted but proactively complied with.

It starts when the guy and girl start calling each other asking "watcha doing". It is in part for the pleasure of hearing their love interest's voice and learning the rhythm of their life but it is also for checking if they could be getting off with someone else - even if unconsciously so.

You would probably be unconcerned if you heard the guys at work made me go with them for a beer but you might be if he said the girls at work made him go to a bar with them. You might wonder which of the girls likes him and which of the girls he likes. There might be flashing neon lights in this.

He could and probably should proactively mate guard himself by asking you to come and meet. .

For you to go by yourself is going to be flashing neons for a man. It may not be your intent but we will know you will attract other men's attention given you are a party girl, and they will try for sex with you.

If you like it is a mini-infidelity, and bad couple behavior, to go to places/circumstances where people do indeed customarily pick up.

I can see it reduces your fun but I think it is better to manifest fidelity than to demand a high level of trust & faith.

I like a good el perro (back to front dance, ass to groin) but would rather to do that at home cause I can be more blatantly dirty in it and the bed is closer. Could you have fun at home if he doesn't want to go out? If he ends up with a hard wet dick he'll probably get into it.

Zack-Bann · Accepted Answer

As someone who loves to party I would love a partner who’s into it like I am

But I also know the reality of it:
Girls at most parties in big packed clubs end up hooking up with random strangers.
I’ve actually been that random stranger on a few occasions

But I never dated the girls I met out clubbing because I know in neither their first nor last fling

If you’ve been living this life for a long time it simply means you’ve racked up an insane body count and that has never been appealing or attractive.

And then there’s the various age groups at nightclubs.
For instance you mentioned men your age, so men in their 40’s
The fact is they look weird at a club full of 20 year olds and they know it

Even women in their 40’s stand out but since young men like older women more than the reverse they do end up feeling welcomed

Still it comes down the same thing: your 45 year old boyfriend would need to contend with 25 year old guys with a six pack trying to get in your pants.
He knows he doesn’t stand a chance no matter how loyal you are or how much integrity you have.
Knowing you can trade him in for a newer model in a second would tip the power dynamic of the relationship too much in your favor

PBandJ_Nerd · Accepted Answer

I think it has to do with the fact most people see party goers as those who get drunk, high, and/or sleep around with people. So, then they instantly write it off on as a "don't ever date" list. I've never been to a club because there aren't any around us. But to me they sometimes sound like fun.

HelpfulWoman · Accepted Answer

mostly that party girls tend to be linked to trashy behaviours. "a bit of a party girl" isn't then the same. this is rather simple logic...

HawkPerception · Answer

It's fine to enjoy socializing, but your partner should be your main person to socialize with. If you're going to parties frequently that you don't invite your partner to, then that can quickly become an issue in the relationship.

I believe that if you have a partner in a relationship, you should always invite them to every social scenario, unless it's just an intimate night out with your girl or something. But especially if it's a single person of the opposite sex, you should invite your partner to show good will that nothing is going on.

Finchie40 · Answer

Nothing wrong with it , if she is loyal and honest and respectful to me that’s all that matters , I like to party myself , so I prefer a girl that likes to party with me and have fun together , but if she is partying constantly without me , then I wouldn’t consider her a girlfriend, I would just consider her a piece of ass

Lynx122 · Answer

People just see party people as unfaithful like you said. I think the trust in general has gone down a lot. In the past people used to assume everyone has good intentions until proven otherwise now it's almost the opposite. It could also be a question of maturity.

Miristheiss · Answer

You sound like you are a party girl so you'll see nothing wrong with it.

To the men out there... NEVER commit to, marry or try to make a girlfriend out of a party girl.

They are loose and promiscuous, instead of being a loyal mate to you they are out until 3am all the time getting drunk and flirting with and getting endless attention from men trying to be her. These women are often unstable, they require male attention constantly and validation from men other than you and they have horrible boundaries.

Only a fool or a simp would try and commit to such a person.

XXTruthfulOgrexx · Answer

Because no matter what club a woman goes into, the fact is the majority of men would be down for sex and likely hit on her.

Guys do not get near the opportunity but fully understand women do.

There is little difference than a woman walking into these clubs to party and a man walking into a brothel. The difference being any club can be a male brothel to any woman. Whereas men would literally have to walk into a brothel for the same opportunity regardless if their intent is to have sex, or "enjoy the atmosphere ".

Anonymous · Answer

When I think of a party/club girl, I imagine a girl who is thirsty for attention, who will get on the dance floor and grind with whatever guy is available, and after the dance is finished, maybe go find a dark corner to make out. . . because if a girl with grind against a strange guy's boner on the dance floor, it's easy to progress to the next step of getting naked and grinding against his boner. Such girls may be fun if a guy just wants to go out and get an easy BJ or maybe even a quick PIV poke, but that is not the kind of girl that you ever take home to meet the parents at Thanksgiving.

I'm not saying that you fit that image of the party/club girl but that is what guys think about club/party girls.

Squatting_Slav · Answer

I think trust has disappeared really, going out to party and club with your partner is good fun a lot of men in this geneation shoot themselves in the foot by always automatically resorting to the worst case scenarios which then leads to insecurity and in the female mind makes them appear weak and a turn-off. Perosnally, I would rather go out hiking together, playing sports, gyming, trying out different spas, activities, driving adventures to different places we've never seen before, surprise mini weekend getaways where we can cook together, go out, wild swim, sex in the wlderness, the romantic things - soemthign that guys don't lead enough with today and prefer watching goofy TV

incorrected · Answer

In general, most party girls are yours if you're attractive and especially if she's into cocaine. That might not be every girl who parties, but it's enough of them for a reputation to form. These are women who will often settle on some sap who'll fund her lifestyle, but then she goes to the club and gets her jollies with a different kind of man altogether. It's a red flag because of that reputation.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Are you even sure that it is representative of you, from what I know, I'm uncertain.

Could it be just a phase after all?
Could be a search phase even? Where you look for something in particular until you find it?

Questions for a question then 🙂

Juxtapose · Answer

They are typically perceived as non-committal, too addicted to the attention of strangers and too wild.

I would judge such a person by their actions personally but that is how they are perceived by most people I believe.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

In my particular case, the problem isn't loyalty, it's that our lifestyles just wouldn't line up. I'm up 4:30 most mornings to hit the gym. I view most drinking as a waste of money and time.

From a practical standpoint, a woman who doesn't think it's a good idea to be up that early to hit the gym simply isn't the kind of woman I could form a longer term connection with.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Well, most people would be far out of the club going phase at 45.. Most of the clubs are filled with young people either getting drunk, etc, or awkwardly standing around not dancing.. So I can see why most wouldn't want somebody who likes to go every weekend.. Or twice a week.. That does seem a little bit unhealthy to wanna go so much.. Even as a young person.. Plus party girls (unless they go with their girls all the time... Maybe) are usually on the promiscuous side..

elizamichale1 · Answer

Almost all guys like part girls but when it comes to making them girlfriend they become hypocrite... so i believe u dont need to change for them.. u should be what u like to be... u will definitely find the person who is as fun loving as u

Jersey2 · Answer

I am an introvert like half of the population. For us, we recharge our batteries by being alone or being quiet. So you will need an extrovert. Clubbing after the early 20s is no something I wanted to do… although I asked my now wife out for the first time at a club but I knew her briefly before that. She was a bit wild. I told her 3 weeks in no more hard partying. She swears now she was a party girl.

Redstang88 · Answer

Yeah that’s pretty much it, and the preconception usually comes from experience. Most guys around your age grew out of that phase 20 years ago and have learned not to trust her going without us so it’s gonna be an issue 🤷‍♂️
All I can offer is look for a guy that’s still into that stuff but they’ll be few and far between

Unit1 · Answer

Party girls or club girls are notorious for and are having a reputation for being either not committed or being unfaithful.

Whats wrong with a "party girl" as a girlfriend?

Think of it like trying to find a high quality boyfriend in a pub, that's full of smoke and booze and loud idiots.

MK1997 · Answer

Men are worried the woman is irresponsible or will cheat on them. I notice some men like their girlfriend to be quite tame.

Truthatanycost · Answer

Clubs are low vibration and party girls are neither girlfriend or wife material. But surely there are plenty of men that disagree with my opinion and don't mind. Thus I see no reason why you couldn't find some of those.

Pete671 · Answer

Nothing wrong imho, except I'd be expected to go clubbing,,,

animalwithin · Answer

Party girls are more promiscuous and more likely to cheat, all things being equal. Great for casual dating but not so for a committed relationship.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Unfortunately you're assessment is 100% right on everything. I say do you. Partners will either come or go but you'll be authentic and loving the right person.

lightbulb27 · Answer

as long as fun w boyfriend, no problem. some people enjoy dancing and I knew a large group that did just that... although was little older than you.

Anonymous · Answer

when younger it be kind of common to have a party girl as a girlfriend right? , i suppose it be a red flag if she didn't like stop partying later on and actually want to settle down

Billlewis · Answer

Absolutely nothing, as far as I'm concerned. Better that than a woman who hasn't had sex for years.

HighValue · Answer

They are the kind of women that are into casual sex which makes them forever low quality and unfit as a partner for any good quality man.

Anonymous · Answer

not everything needs to have a preference for party girls

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

There is nothing wrong with dating a party girl as long as she knows there is a time and a place for everything. You can party but if your married or in a relationship being a wife and a girlfriend should come first

Staximus · Answer

Girls or guys who often go out and get wasted without their boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife are questionable at best

slatyb · Answer

There's nothing wrong with that. Do what you please and meet someone who is happy with it.

exitseven · Answer

I dated one. It was fun for a while but it got old pretty quick.

Iron_Man · Answer

I will never date a party girl they cheat on people. They’re the worst untrustworthy immoral people around that you could ever date.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I think many people, unfairly perhaps, think of a "party girl" as the kind you have fun with, not a relationship with.

Anonymous · Answer

From what I've seen, most men in their mid-40s don't want a mid-40-year-old party girl. It's not all to do with being faithful or not.

Twalli · Answer

I don't know if you'll find many guys your age who are willing. 15 years youngerbor more, sure, but at 45 it's not normal to go clubbing

SolarEclipse · Answer

Because party girls sleep around, drink too much alcohol and are vain and dumb. No man wants to deal with that.

Anonymous · Answer

You say you're nothing but a party girl. Just like a million more all over the world. ... But watcha going to do when the party's over...

EyesOfGod · Answer

Party girl = slut who wakes up with a hangover and some random nude dude or dudes in bed with them.

krin_m · Answer

I don't think you ou Are doing anything wrong. You will find a partner who shares your interests I'm sure. It is just a matter of time.

In_Trance · Answer

There's nothing wrong with it but that's probably not what most guys want

SunnyRS · Answer

It's not wrong but it's a bit much for me as I don't like parties a lot luv.

Username93 · Answer

You said in the comments you like to sleep around. Point proven

DtMe89 · Answer

If he can't trust you, then why is he with you?

LunarEclipse433 · Answer

You just need to do what makes you happy.

Samster1 · Answer

Insecurity I guess

Anonymous · Answer

Nothing wrong at all, I like party girls.

seeyounexttuesday · Answer

45? you're too old to be in da club. lol.

CubaPirate · Answer

Absolutely nothing

jahaims · Answer

Immature

Whats wrong with a "party girl" as a girlfriend?

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A girl who likes to party is a turn-off?

Whats wrong with a "party girl" as a girlfriend?

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A girl who likes to party is a turn-off?

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