What is the wisest decision to make here?

[Anonymous]

I’ve encountered several guys, one ex lover, a few aliases of a guy I used to be friends with and an ex lover; and another guy that I used to know; and I’m feeling wary. Because people can be anyone online and catfish you. I’m wondering if I should avoid these dating sites? I feel like I’m looking over my shoulder a lot.

[slayxme]

whatever makes you comfortable. Just know dating apps is now normalize. Therefore, you will most likely see people on there that you know or has some type of association in your life. I know my exes has seen me on there before since they told me. And I def have people I know on there.

You can stay on the app and just blocked the people, so they don't see your profile and such.

Or be off the app if it makes you feel weird to continue.

[Asker]

Some of them… heck, ALL of them are hitting on me. One makes up different aliases, so there’s no point in blocking him.

[slayxme]

girl, i getchu. It can be awk. But you can just reframe your thinking like... I just be flatter, ignore, and focus on the men I wanna invest my time and go on dates. But you do you girl.

[Asker]

You’re right. I’m overthinking 😊

[slayxme]

mhm they're also just behind a screen too lmao. Be flatter, swipe left, and next! haha. Have fun and be safe girl!

[BarryLiverstone]

Yup she’s right

[slayxme]

@BarryLiverstone thank you.

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes get off the dating sites

[Asker]

I feel like there are a lot of familiar guys on there and I’m not interested in any of them. I’m wondering if the term ‘Don’t shit where you eat;’ is starting to apply. Is it?

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes because if they were in successful relationships they wouldn’t be there anymore right?

That and the fact that “dating” apps are not meant to find dates anyway. You know what people use them for right?

[Asker]

Most of the time, they’re for hookups.

[BarryLiverstone]

Actually they are mostly used by people who are bored or wanting attention. Less people actually meet and hook up than we are lead to believe

[Asker]

Truly?

[BarryLiverstone]

But ya, if someone actually wants to date and find someone not just for a hookup then the apps are not the best place to search

[BarryLiverstone]

It’s true. The apps are marketed as “ dating apps” but mostly it’s not about dating as you have seen

[Asker]

Yes, most men seem to want a shag, even when they say they want something serious.

[BarryLiverstone]

There is a reason the say that. You agree guys and girls think differently?

[Asker]

Yes, a bit.

[BarryLiverstone]

Ideally both guys and girls want good sex. It’s just different ways to think about what that means and how each situation works for each.