How to after so long?

[David5668]

Just separated after 34 years with reconciliation not an option. Im not ready for anything long term at the moment. I consider myself to be about average (whatever that means?). I don’t consider myself to be to a demigod in bed, but I’ve gained enough experience over the years. I just would just like to meet someone in similar circumstances for a friendship (at first). I consider myself to be decent and respectful towards women. But I was never good at chatting up and dating the first time round. How and where can I start? I had a look several dating sites which for me appear to be nothing more than online knocking shops. Am I an old git? Yes. Am I totally out of it? I honestly don’t know, but hope not.

[SueShe]

You are the only one that can help that situation.

In order to have friends or a girlfriend, you must be proactive and find friends. They will not just pop up in your life without you being involved in the relation. Best is to join a club, take a hobby where you can meet people with similar interests.

If you are good at one specific occupation, then see if you can find a club or place where others meet that share that passion. The rest will just fall automatically into place. Sharing the same interests with a person is always a good start to get to know that person better because you have common grounds.

But you have to work on yourself first. That would include shyness and social anxiety if those are part of your problem. If you are more of an introvert person, that may be a little more difficult, mainly if you haven't been among possible candidates for a while.

You can train your approach, your attitude and expression in front of a mirror for example. Think of what message you want to bring across and rehearse it until you are satisfied. The next step is the most difficult one and that is the one where you have to put in practice what you learned and rehearsed.

But without you wanting and acting upon it, nothing will ever happen. You have to get out of your comfort zone for it to happen. The most important is not to be afraid to fail. If you are rejected, get back onto your feet and try again.

If you are dissatisfied with the way you look, then simple steps may have a positive impact on you. Try first to change your hairstyle and clothing. They may be one of the reasons why you feel insecure. Learn to smile because people are also judged on how they appear to others. If you frown all the time and never smile, you will be tagged as a person that is difficult to befriend or be with. Good luck.

[David5668]

Thank You for the frank and honest answer. I appreciate the perspective from an impartial source.😊

[SueShe]

No problem and good luck.

[Abbycado]

Should have left this open to the guys. Might have found some in similar situations.

Go out with friends to places that have people around your age looking to mingle (bars n such)

[David5668]

Thanks and appreciate the advice. Im totally new to this, so I’ll take that as a lesson learned.

[Abbycado]

Better to go with a group of friends. Doesn’t matter the age.

My roommates and I are more likely to mingle with other groups. Just makes it easier for everyone.

[midnightmoon05]

a good friend of mine on this site who is in his 60s just got married last yr.

[Nikki1989]

It would be challenging to get back on the horse after 34 years of being with someone. You will have to find a way that works for you.

[ihateTaylorSwift]

just give it some time
I'm sure you'll find someone just as great as you

[Baddie2685]

Thanks for accepting me.. I am new here

[David5668]

You’re welcome

[Baddie2685]

Hit me up

[Baddie2685]

You send me private message

[Baddie2685]

I don’t know how this App works