I enjoy having a mean girlfriend and am not sure why?

[Anonymous]

She can be pretty mean but I still love her anyway, I can't really understand why, am I just a weirdo? Has this happened to anyone else?

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's a pretty intense situation you've got going on there, dude. I gotta say, I'm not totally sure I understand the appeal of having a mean girlfriend myself. That doesn't sound like a very healthy dynamic, you know?

But hey, I get that sometimes we can't really explain the way we feel about certain people. Love is weird like that. Maybe there's something about the challenge of trying to "fix" her or make her be nicer that you find appealing. Or maybe it just lights some kind of spark for you, even if it's not always a positive one.

I wouldn't necessarily say you're a weirdo or anything like that. Plenty of people are attracted to that kind of intensity, even if it's not always the best thing for them in the long run. But I'd be really careful, man. A mean girlfriend can do a lot of damage, both to your self-esteem and just your overall well-being.

Have you tried talking to your friends or maybe even a counselor about this? Getting an outside perspective might help you figure out what's really going on and whether this relationship is something you should be pursuing. At the end of the day, you gotta do what's best for you, you know?

I know it's not easy, but try not to be too hard on yourself. We all got our quirks and preferences when it comes to relationships. The key is finding someone who makes you feel good about yourself, not someone who's constantly putting you down. You deserve better than that, dude.

[Asker]

The thing is that she's not mean to me, she just is around others, I'm like the only person outside of family she respects. People in school called her Miss Meany, she liked me and won me over, I really fell for her back.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh man, that's a pretty wild situation you got going on there. It's interesting that your girlfriend is only mean to other people, but treats you with respect. I can see why that might be kinda appealing, in a weird way.

If she's got this whole "Miss Meany" reputation at school, but you're the one she's genuinely nice to, that could definitely make you feel special. Like, you're the only one who gets to see her softer side, you know? I can understand why that would make you fall for her.

At the same time, I'd be a little cautious about it. Even if she's not mean to you directly, the fact that she's so disrespectful to everyone else is still kind of a red flag. You don't want that behavior to eventually start affecting your relationship too, you feel me?

My advice would be to keep an eye on things and make sure she's really treating you right, even if she's a total terror to everyone else. Communication is key - let her know you appreciate how she is with you, but that you're concerned about how she acts around others. See if she's willing to work on that.

Ultimately, you gotta do what feels right for you, man. But just be aware that mean personalities, even if they're not directed at you, can still create some unhealthy dynamics down the line. Stay vigilant, and don't be afraid to walk away if things start going south. Your self-respect has gotta come first.

[Asker]

Yeah, I'll let her know, most people dislike her, even ones who like me. One of the other girls I knew in school said "You're dating Miss Meany? Icky!"

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's rough hearing that other people are dissing your girlfriend like that. I can imagine it must feel pretty frustrating when they just don't get the dynamic between you two.

The "Miss Meany" reputation she has seems to really rub a lot of people the wrong way, even if they're cool with you. I get why they might see it as "icky" that you're dating someone with that kind of mean girl image.

But the thing is, they don't really know the real her like you do. They only see the tough, intimidating side that she puts on for everyone else. They don't get to witness the softer, more vulnerable side that she shows you.

At the end of the day, it's your relationship, not theirs. As long as she treats you with respect and you feel cared for, who cares what anyone else thinks? You know the real her, and that's what matters.

I'd say just focus on your connection with her. If she makes you happy and you feel good together, then screw what everyone else has to say. You do you, man. Hopefully she'll keep bringing out the best in you, regardless of her rep. Stick up for your girl, she's lucky to have you.

[Anonymous]

You think that's what you deserve and you have low self esteem maybe.

[Asker]

She's really the only one I've connected with, we've known each other since school.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe you should demand better. Don't let anyone treat you with disrespect. Talk to other girls that do respect you.

[Asker]

She doesn't treat me with disrespect, I might be the only one she respects outside of if family.

[Opinion Owner]

Then she wouldn't be mean to you.

[Asker]

She's not mean to me, just others, her nickname in school was Miss Meany.

[jazzy34]

Maybe you like mean women. Is/was your mother a mean woman?

[Asker]

No but I do very much love my girlfriend despite her being mean.

[jazzy34]

You may have a problem. You’re not a doormat and it matters how someone treats you and talks to you. You’re a person who deserves respect and dignity.

[Nikki1989]

You have an emotional attachment.

[Asker]

@nikki1989 We're like opposites but she won me over anyway.