How can I tell if he’s interested in more than friendship?

[ssalinas1110]

We worked together until last week. We’ve talked extensively about both casual and sometimes personal topics. He’s given me rides home even though he lives across town, opposite of me, and unexpectedly bought me a coat because he heard me talk to another co-worker that I needed to get a new one because mine was out of state in storage. He’s also agreed to dinner at my place. But he’s also a slacker in the texting department. Is there possibly something there or does it sound more like just a friend. I’m confused and don’t want to lose my friend, but would like to know if I’m just too dumb to realize he’s interested in me. I’ve been out of the dating game for nearly 25 years and just don’t know anymore. I desperately need a man’s opinion on this.

[Joshua_H_1010011001]

He's not your friend.

The reason he is a slacker in the text dept is great, he knows.

He knows not to get to close you without intimacy.

How would you feel if someone who you considered a genuine wholesome friend came out as wanting to be with you sexualy, it's deceiving and lying.

Also women are inherently annoying, deceptive, dangerous creatures that confuse us... Why would he do all those things for you, but not be "close" /a friend.

Men have three categories:

Intimate partner: (just sex or love/relationship) if he finds you physically attractive, you are in this category.

Friend: (the one thing you must have in common with his male counterparts in this category - he dosent want to F**k you - ever)

General distaste / hate / indifference /threat: (this is where the rest of the world sits) we're not doing anything for these people.

Now it should be simple where you sit.

You know he likes you, he's talking to you. Your close, but not too close.

Make and effort for him, dress up and lay it on a bit thick over diner, if he can't stop looking at you or your boobs or whatever... You have your answer, simple deduction.

Your friend would just complement you or take the piss for dressing up for them... You should be able to see the difference.

Can't believe you got to 50+ without knowing this lol.

Although took me till 34 to figure it out.

[ssalinas1110]

In my defense, even though I’m 50+, I’ve been with 3 men in a span of 36 years. I never really got to experience the whole dating scene and now that I’m a widow, I’m learning more than I wanted to. But here we are and I appreciate you honesty. This actually helps.

[HawkPerception]

@ssalinas1110 This is absolute nonsense and I hope you don't take this on.

[Joshua_H_1010011001]

@HawkPerception please do educate me on how it's nonsense?

[HawkPerception]

I never understand why women have such an issue with direct communication. Men can't read your mind. If you're interested in him, let him know and let him decide from there.

Something a long the lines of...

"Hey, I love your company and I don't want to lose you as a friend, so I've been afraid to bring this up, but I was wondering if there was any romantic connection here. I'm not opposed to it, but I just want to know what the intentions might be. I hope that doesn't make you feel awkward."

Something like that is bound to get him to respond accordingly and give you your answer.

[ssalinas1110]

Thank you.

[HawkPerception]

No problem and good luck 😊

[SueShe]

A man that goes out of his way to drop you off on the opposite side from where he lives, a male that buys you a coat just because he overheard you in a conversation and the final blow, he agreed to have dinner at your place, again on the total opposite of the place where he lives, leaves only one single conclusion.

He is desperate to get into your pants. No sensible person without any deviant intention would go out of his way for simple recognition. We are no longer living in the 19th. Century. Please wake up and realize that what he is doing is solely that he can get into your pants.

Take your distance from this man because he is only interested in your body, not the entire package.

[ANDYB88]

I think SueShe is right. How long has he been single? If it’s been a while he will likely be absolutely desperate for intimacy with you, but probably not feel confident to text or know how to move it forward. How you progress with this is your call, but as a man I think SueShe is right and he is likely doing everything he can to have intimacy with a woman he likes

[CarolinaGirl5]

Right like how dumb can she be especially at 53

[WhitneySnow]

He’s definitely into you! Dinner at your place plus he bought you a new coat equals romantic interest (though he could also be faking it to have sex with you, so be careful of that).

[ssalinas1110]

Well the lightning bolt literally just hit me this morning. With the rides home, I’m now wondering if he was waiting for me to invite him up, and having been out of the dating scene for 20+ years, I missed the cue! Now I feel stupid. But I have 1 more chance the week of Christmas. He’ll be working at my office for 3 days and I’m going to dress differently on each day to see if any of the outfits will trigger a ride home. I won’t miss it again if he’s willing to give me ride home.

[WhitneySnow]

Just invite him to dinner at your place. He already said yes

[ohsheeT]

Well everything that you have said there it sounds like he is so either he's waiting for you to make a move or for you to give him a okay to make the move

[BrotherBane]

He is interested in you but doesn't want to come off as desperate that's why he is slacking in the texting dept. I know this because I do the same thing.

[ssalinas1110]

That was my thought too. So then since I sent him a text with my work schedule for December (I only will have about 7 days off in total due to holiday coverage) and told him to pick one of those days for us to have dinner, which he previously agreed to, just haven’t figured out when. He just started a new job this week too. I should wait to text back so I don’t seem needy, right. I’m really not, just trying to navigate a new territory. And how long should I wait?
Sorry, but I’m really clueless when it comes to this. Newly widowed (husband died in May), and I’ve only been with 3 men in 36 years. 😩

[BrotherBane]

Since he just started a new job this week, he is probably trying to adjust to his new job and seeing how to fit the dinner in.

He wouldn't want to give you a quick reply especially when he doesn't know if his new job needs him to overtime on one or more days.

Telling you a date now when he doesn't know if his new job would need him on that particular day might make things difficult for him.

Telling you he doesn't know which date he can make it might make him seem indecisive.

And this is just his job alone, he might have other commitments outside.

Eventually, he would have to give you an answer since he already agreed to, maybe within the week he will give you an answer.

But in my opinion, if you haven't heard from him in 6 or 7 days (provided that the available dates are some time away and not like within 6 days), then you can text him again to ask which dates he is alright with.

[ssalinas1110]

Thank you for your response. This really helps and confirms what I was already thinking. Thanks!

[BrotherBane]

No problem

[D_Bone_Steak]

He will have a collection of happy socks that have been dedicated to his desire to have something more than friendship.

I personally just jerk off into the garbage can and then throw on one of my baby socks to catch the leftovers.

This is part of my collection

[tzdc21]

How aboutnyou just ask him straight up? In person

[ssalinas1110]

That’s actually my plan. Just didn’t want to look like an ass in front of him, but ultimately I need to know and he’s either sending mixed signals or I’m seeing something that’s not there. So, just have to ask. Thanks.

[tzdc21]

Sure thing. Good luck!

[slatyb]

You are 53? Just ask him out. Or to your place. Stop wasting time.

[lorenzomichael]

Lean over and kiss him, you’ll know it after that. Believe me, it’s not that hard to understand.

[ssalinas1110]

I just might! 😂

[lorenzomichael]

There you go, girl at least you’ll know. GL

[StevenMcGarrett]

Yeah, I would say he wants you. He gives your rides and coats. He definitely would not do that for a guy friend.

[CarolinaGirl5]

He doesn't like you. The fact you're asking us is your answer. The answer is he is not interested

[ssalinas1110]

Kinda mean. I’m out of the dating loop and have been for many years. It feels like he’s interested, but my dumb ass has no clue anymore. I get what you’re saying, but…..

[CarolinaGirl5]

@ssalinas1110 how dumb can you be 53 years old. Come on he doesn't like you. Its not complicated. If he liked you he would've told u. He's just trying to get sex because you're easy, he knows you're not attractive so therefore you have no options so you're an easy target.

[ssalinas1110]

Are you always this bitchy? Yes, I’m 53, HOWEVER!!! If you look more carefully at my original post, I’ve been off the market for nearly 25 years because I was married and now he’s dead. As for me being unattractive, how do you even know?

He’s a 1st year dentist and I’ve been in dentistry for over 20 years. Maybe, just maybe he’s intimidated. Plus he’s younger and from another culture and genuinely a nice person. So STOP being a bitch already. So unnecessary!!!

[CarolinaGirl5]

@ssalinas1110 this level of stupidity like there's no excuse. He doesn't like you. A few people have told u this. Stop being stupid no ones intimated by you. he's just not interested in you. Get over it

[Anonymous]

“I desperately need a man’s opinion on this.”

So you still want to be none the wiser?

[ssalinas1110]

No, but I have no clue how normal men think and do things. I “think” he wants to be more than friends, but at this point in my life, I just have no clue.

[ANDYB88]

Normal men is a big generic term.. a lot depends on context. One thing that is more likely than not likely is that if he is single and has been single for a while, he WILL be very sexually frustrated, and that frustration will be intruding on his daily life a lot of the time. This means he will be doing EVERYTHING he can to get you to agree to let him take you to bed. Whether you want to do that or not is up to you, but he will definitely be desperate for that to happen. Possibly more desperate than a woman will realise

[CarolinaGirl5]

@ssalinaa1110 are u really 53? I can't imagine a 53 year old being this dense? So you've never been married? Never had kids?

[ssalinas1110]

Carolinagirl5: I’m done with your narcissistic rude comments. Kindly, or not, get off my feed. I’ve already reported you to admin. This is unacceptable behavior towards ANYONE! I heard you and everyone else. I get it. But you’re a cunt and need to go away, Karen!!!

[CarolinaGirl5]

@ssalinas1110 not my fault you're 53 and slow with no kids, no husband and no social life

[ssalinas1110]

Not my fault you’re a cunt, yet here we are! Go away Karen!!!

[CarolinaGirl5]

@ssalinas1110 cry all u want truth remains what I said

[ssalinas1110]

@CarolinaGirl5: who’s crying. I’m trying to get an idea of what I think vs what I know and you’re on here literally bullying me. Again, get off my feed. You and your negativity is unwanted. You might be right and I could be too, but for you to just be a straight up cunt…. wow! And you may be pretty, but your attitude and responses are very ugly which makes you as a whole, just plain fugly! GET OFF MY FEED!

[CarolinaGirl5]

@ssalinas1110 you are lol 😆

[ssalinas1110]

@CarolinaGirl5: kindly take your country bumpkin, back wood behavior and FUCK OFF. I’m really done with you. YOU are the ONLY person on here being a complete bitch. If you don’t have anything nice to say, then fuck off troll. I’ve already reported you and your inappropriate response. All you had to say is he wasn’t into me. Fine! But the insults were just so democratic of you. You must have voted for the slut, like you.

[CarolinaGirl5]

@ssalinas1110 you're still single , unmarried with no kids at 53 ans airheaded no matter how angry you get with me over the truth

[ssalinas1110]

@CarolinaGirl5: first off, get an education and learn how to spell. Secondly, my husband DIED just this past May. Medical issues prevented kids, on his end, not mine. If what you were saying was truth and not just bullying, I might not have even responded to you. But clearly you’re entitled, spoiled and completely clueless and have no idea about anything. I’ve asked nicely and not so nicely to get the fuck off my feed. Now I’m contacting admin and doing whatever it takes to have you blocked completely. You’re negative, rude and unwanted. Go suck a dick!

[Iron_Man]

By his actions

[David5668]

Ask?

[ssalinas1110]

I most likely will just ask, but I’m also worried about losing a friend. I don’t want things to be awkward if he doesn’t feel the same way.

[David5668]

I think that if you establish (if that is the case) that their response won’t alter the dynamics that currently exist between you; then you should at least get an honest response.
For what it’s worth I recently asked a similar question (she was 41 and I’m 56). Being told ‘Christ no, you’re nearly a pensioner’ dented my ego and my pride; but we’re still good friends. I hope you get the answer you’re looking for.😊😊

[michalpl00]

Think positively you’re about to make this guy very happy he probably won’t say it unless you do

[ssalinas1110]

@michalpl00: I’m definitely trying to stay positive. And yes, I’m hoping to make him very happy. But either way, still my friend.

[In_Trance]

Ask him

[ssalinas1110]

👍🏻

[Jmmmfi4]

NO GUY JUST WANTS TO BE FRIENDS

[Crazzyyworld]

sex yes he is a scumbag

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆