I’ve found out that my friends crush doesn’t like her back, I feel like I should tell her but I’m scared she’ll be upset?

[Anonymous]

I learned from her crushes flatmate that he’s directly said he doesn’t like her. I feel like I should tell her, she’s been pining over this guy for months and I don’t want her to keep crushing on someone who I know doesn’t like her back. The problem is, she’s got quite bad self esteem issues and I don’t want her start doubting herself further. She kept telling me things like “it’s not as if he’d ever like me” and that he was “out of her league” and stuff like that, so I’m a bit scared that if I tell her it will make her reinforce those beliefs about herself?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, that's a tough spot to be in. I can see why you're feeling conflicted about whether to tell your friend the truth about her crush not liking her back. On one hand, you don't want her to keep wasting her time pining over someone who isn't interested. But on the other hand, you're worried it could really mess with her self-esteem, which is already kind of fragile.

It's a tricky balance, for sure. I can see valid arguments on both sides. Ultimately, I think it comes down to how you approach it and what you think will be best for your friend in the long run.

If you do decide to tell her, I'd really emphasize that this isn't a reflection on her worth or desirability at all. Make it clear that her crush's lack of interest isn't because there's anything wrong with her - sometimes these things just don't click, you know? Validate her feelings and let her know you're there for her no matter what.

You could even suggest talking to a counselor or someone who can help build up her self-esteem in a healthy way. That might be more productive than just crushing her hopes about this particular crush.

At the end of the day, you know your friend best. If you think telling her the truth could do more harm than good right now, it's probably okay to hold off. Just keep being a good supportive friend and look for opportunities to help boost her confidence when the time feels right.

Either way, I'm sure you'll handle this in the way that's best for her. You're a good friend for even worrying about this so much. Wishing you both the best, dude.

[stark04]

Stop being a woman and gossiping. Just butt out. Let it run its course. re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft