Men, do you think it is a bad idea to date a baby mama (woman that had a baby out of wedlock)?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Ok so I dated a single mother. It’s been 16 years now, we’re still together. Would I recommend it? No. It’s a lot of work, big headache at times. She’s never free. Kids may not like you or feel like you’re taking mom away from them. As a matter of fact her son moved on when he turned 18 cause he didn’t like that I expected him to clean up as far as taking out the trash, cleaning up the mountain of dog shit left outside by his dog that he never really fed. He was just lazy. All he wanted to do was play games. So he chose himself over his mom, moved in w his dad who was just the same as me. The other thing is it took a long time to even let me discipline. You’re expected to provide, maybe even die for them but you have no authority. You have to deal w an ex like I had to, almost to the point of a fight till I got in his face then he never acted out like that. There’s just too much drama w dating a single mom. Plus a lot of times if she’s a single mom, the kids are usually screwed up emotionally. More than likely because her emotions have poured into them, at a certain age kids aren’t scared of mom anymore. You’ve never really heard someone say you wait till your mom gets home. It’s usually you wait till your dad gets home. There are some exceptions. Single parent moms are more than likely to have sons who end up in prison, doing bad in school, etc. Single girls are more likely to be promiscuous, as well as all kind of emotional problems. I’d tell men to find a girl who has no kids. Plus a lot of times the women usually initiate the separation so if she’s got kids, not only did you lose her but you lost that relationship w that kid. There’s a lot more to it than just this. But no I wouldn’t recommend dating single moms.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

Okay this depends on a lot of factors if you ever heard of the term the “totality of the circumstances” if you know what that is. It depends on the man as well as the woman.

I will say someone rejecting someone romantically doesn’t always mean they are rejecting them as a human being, in some cases it can mean that. But some men aren’t ready for the commitment of a child. It’s a big responsibility so you should respect people who don’t waste someone’s time who they aren’t compatible with. We are all looking for our someone and want something different.

What the most important thing is how the mother got into the situation she’s in. If she’s just sleeping around and takes zero accountability for her actions I feel horrible for her children. But that’s on her point blank.

But maybe she’s a woman who sure isn’t perfect made some decisions. But the fact of the matter is she learned from it, she isn’t proud of it, she not only regrets her actions, but has felt genuine remorse, shame, guilt, etc. She is taking responsibility and doing the best she can for her children.

There is women who have been divorced but that depends on the reasoning behind the divorce. Did her husband cheat or did she. Was she being abused maybe her husband seemed great but became abusive later on. She may have been widowed what happens if her husband was in combat or a car crash. That’s not in her control.

Could she have been raped and had a baby from that.

So many things to consider

ohsheeT · Answer

I think it's a bad idea to date anybody that says baby's mama

For me if I'd like the woman if she has a beautiful heart she's kind she's happy if she's smart intelligent and I like her yes I'm going to date her as long as she doesn't say baby's Mama.

But I have rules on that too her kids should always come first and if they don't then that tells me what kind of parent she is and I'll be walking out the door

AManOnTheWeb · Answer

She's not just looking for a partner, she's also looking for a father for her existing kid. That's a heavy load and not something to be taken lightly. Imagine being asked to mother his kids for example. Anyone entering a relationship like that is like tightrope walking without a net. Decisions can have serious consequences for the lives of those kids, not just yourselves.

I'm not going to say it's "bad" in all cases, but it's a very different kind of thing than going out for a dinner or a coffee with a single lady with no kids.

adventurous-1 · Answer

I don't know if it's much different than a divorced mom of one but a baby mama may have have higher expectations for what she wants and expects compared to woman that's been divorced and has an idea of the real world. I would pick a divorced woman over an baby mama and if there's any indication of attitude or inflated self image than that's definitely a red flag and a no for me as I believe it absolutely to be a bad idea. Note- you are going to spend more as there is a +1 involved and there's no getting around that.

WindAtMyBack · Answer

Anyone who uses the words "baby mama" is an immediate deal breaker. If they say those words even once, it's game over.

Having a baby out of wedlock is not a good sign, but not necessarily a deal breaker.

Of course at my age none of that matters. I wouldn't be dating someone in that age range.

Miristheiss · Answer

100%. I would never have done it and I'd slap my son silly if he tried it. Only date a widow if you are a single dad with kids yourself. Otherwise date single girls with no kids.

Joshua_H_1010011001 · Answer

Yep.  Always.  Never date a woman with kids.

Truthatanycost · Answer

No matter what way you look at it, I have the option to find a completely single woman (if I was looking). Thus there is no good reason to ever date a woman that already has a child.

HighValue · Answer

It is a bad idea to ever date a single mother.

Wraith_Cemetery · Answer

Horrible idea. Never would I consider something like that. Especially out of wedlock. I want someone with better sense.

Anonymous · Answer

In the vst majority of cases, yes it's a bad idea. There are exceptions to the rule, but the rule is still true. The vast majority of single mothers find themselves in that situation because of poor values and bad life choices.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

WHY is she called a baby mama? What's wrong with, "single mother"? Something EVERYONE can understand!! You say, "baby mama" to me and I think of a very young girl, still in her diapers, that has a baby of her own!

Staximus · Answer

If she had a baby with a guy she lived with then that's fine. Any woman who lets a guy get her pregnant that she doesn't live with is not the sharpest tool in the shed.

XXTruthfulOgrexx · Answer

Been there, done that and no would never attempt it again.

Unit1 · Answer

To me it is a bad idea

Anonymous · Answer

It's a higher risk, and extra responsibilities. To each, their own, though. Watch out for pedos, if you're talking about yourself. They target single moms.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

"Date" her long and hard but don't take her seriously.

Oldschool1981 · Answer

Not for me. I also don't care if my wife wants to see other guys so long as she doesn't get pregnant

Surely · Answer

Depends on how much a pain in the A$$ the baby’s daddy is. Sometimes it’s better if the sperm donor is out of the picture!

Vegasrunner · Answer

Of course. Baby moms are for recreational use only.

Anonymous · Answer

Usually they are crazy. 91% of the time, on average, it’s a bad idea.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

Yes of course

DrPepper12 · Answer

Not always but default is without that issue

Anonymous · Answer

More often than not it's a bad idea.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

D**N SKIPPY, or ANY woman with kids !!!1

Pterodon · Answer

Not for me to judge

Anonymous · Answer

If it isn't my kid, definitely.

oldpigg · Answer

Yes.

Men, do you think it is a bad idea to date a baby mama (woman that had a baby out of wedlock)?

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