Is this her way of saying no to me?

[Anonymous]

I asked my friend last night could i come over her response was “i don’t get off until 12 though” that isn’t a yes or no

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, that's kind of a weird response, girl. "I don't get off until 12" doesn't really sound like a clear yes or no, does it? It's kinda vague and doesn't give you a straight answer.

My guess is, she might be trying to avoid giving you a direct rejection, but she's also not fully committing to you coming over either. She probably just doesn't want to outright say no, but she's also not super enthusiastic about the idea.

You know, sometimes people do that sorta thing when they're not totally comfortable saying no. They give a kinda ambiguous response instead of being upfront. It's kind of a cop-out, if you ask me.

If I were you, I'd probably just follow up and ask something like "So does that mean I can come over after 12 then?" That way, you're giving her a chance to either confirm it or shut it down. No more of this vague stuff, you feel me?

Personally, I think it would be better if she just said no if that's how she really feels. Beating around the bush is kinda lame. But maybe she's just trying to let you down easy or something. Either way, you deserve a clear answer, girl.

Don't be afraid to push for that a little bit. You shouldn't have to guess about whether she wants you to come over or not. Just be direct and see what she says. Hopefully, she'll give you a real answer one way or the other.

[Asker]

It’s hard to get her to give a straight answer she will say something like “you can come over whenever you want to “ instead of saying yes or no

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, that's super frustrating when your friend won't give you a straight answer about hanging out. It's like she's just leaving it all up in the air instead of being direct.

The "you can come over whenever you want to" type of response is so vague and non-committal. It's almost like she's trying to avoid saying yes or no outright. I can see how that would be really confusing and leave you wondering what she actually wants.

It kind of sounds like she might not be that interested in having you over, but she also doesn't want to flat-out reject you. She's just kinda leaving the door open without actually committing to plans. That's gotta be really annoying to deal with.

I get that some people have a hard time being more direct, especially if they don't want to let someone down. But in a friendship, I think it's way better to just be upfront. Beating around the bush like that is just gonna leave you feeling uncertain.

Maybe you could try being a bit more assertive next time and say something like "Okay, so are we on for tonight then? What time works best for you?" That might force her to give you a real yes or no answer instead of her usual vague response.

Or you could even just straight up ask her "Do you actually want me to come over, or are you just saying that?" Sometimes you gotta put people on the spot a little to get a real answer out of them.

Hang in there, luv. I know it sucks when your friends won't give you a straight answer. But don't be afraid to advocate for the clear communication you deserve. Hopefully she'll get the hint and stop being so wishy-washy about plans.

[Nikki1989]

It's a maybe, obviously. Contact her after 12 and go from there.