Why does she ignore me ? Why not say no straightaway ?

[Anonymous]

Hi ! I like a girl who I met in a class I attended some months ago. She was good friends with me. But after I asked her out, she said yes at first.. then started to ignore me completely (my texts, calls, chats) .. But she did once comment on an article I had written on FB complementing me about my writing. But besides that she ignores me. I don't get that ignoring part. We hardly have any common friends or don't share a friends circle. She could have easily said no without any other awkward side effects. I would have digested a "no' as that would have given an air of closure to proceedings... But this ignoring thing sucks... It hurts so much that the girl I like so much ignores me completely... Why not say No straightaway ?

[journeyman1126]

Because long ago, when we dragged women around by their hair and took them to our caves if we liked them enough to keep them, women said no by waiting until we fell asleep and then crushed our skulls with rocks.

This has carried on through evolution, and explains huge purses.

Sleep with the lights on!

Just kidding.

Seriously, this happens your entire life so might as well get used to it. Ironically, almost the same thing has happened to me in the past year thanks to recession and going back to school. I tell myself they just can't handle dating someone who's so much older and awesomer and fuller of win.

She doesn't know if she likes you enough to go out, or she's been talking to five guys at once, or you look like the guy who used to pick on her in 3rd grade.

In the end, it's her, not you. Keep that in mind. Whenever a woman says no, it's because of something going on with her, not with you. Whenever a woman says nothing, those issues get exponentially multiplied. How the hell can women, who are very much more relationship centered than we are, decide if we're relationship material in a few interchanges? By making wild assumptions based on nearly anything we do. They don't know us until they help us decide who we are, and that's at least two dates into it.

In between no's, abstainers, and yessers, we have sports, Internet p*rn, fast cars, motorcycles, base jumping, bearding, Internet p*rn... all sorts of things to waste time with.

So if it's a huge problem, I can't help you. But it may be easier to just imagine her having some neurotic inner drama over you and just count yourself lucky. Practice saying "I sure dodged the bullet that time!" and it will feel better. We're going to ask out far more than we actually get to go out with. That's how it is. The only thing that gets easier is telling who's going to flake, and maybe developing some door-to-door salesman approach to overcoming the objections we may encounter.

Waste a little time checking out Double-your-dating or Pandora's box, and then throw it all out and be yourself. And forget her.

[Anonymous]

Same thing is happending to me right now, buddy. Getting along great, think she's interested, tell her I like her and bam, not a word since. It's hard, but like gemglam said if that's how she wants to act then forget it. She's just not worth it.

[gemglam]

I am sorry to hear that this happened. It really does suck when a person who you like and thinks may like you back just starts ignoring you. It isn't right but take it as an opportunity to see how much of a phony a person like that is. If someone does not have the guts to tell you they don't want to see you, the don't deserve your time anyways. I suggest you pretend as if you never asked her, don't even look her direction and ask out another girl you like and start ignoring her. I will tell you she will start obsessing about it. When you see her in the hall, don't look at her at all, completely ignore her even with your looks and you will see.

[LoveLust]

Confront her face-to-face about it. It's the only way to finish it off for good. It may not work for the better, but it'll stop the ignoring. If you're looking for closure, then it's the best idea. Start solving it at the root of the problem.

[mysterious1234]

Maybe she's not interested and didn't any to be mean? I suggest going back to being friends And don't ruin the friendship maybe one day it will lead to something