Why does my ex boyfriend want to be my friend so bad? We have been friends for years and were very good friends before we dated. We fell in love, moved in together, then he broke up with because he ‘wasn’t happy’. The girl he met the week he broke up with me was at our old apartment the next weekend. So needless to say it hasn’t been the prettiest break-up.
It’s been near 5 months and still all he wants is for me him and him to be friends. Good friends like before. He even went as far to say that he wants his new girlfriend, him and me to all be friends. I keep my distance from them but hang out with our friends when they are around. Recently he and his girlfriend came to my house for our friend’s birthday party. So the three of us being around each other has happened 3 times now and it gets more awkward each time. This last time I completely cold-shouldered him and ignored him as much as possible. His girlfriend talked to me three times. I was nice to her but didn’t offer much back. I feel like I don’t know myself because no matter what he did to me or how bad I feel he treated me, it doesn’t excuse my behavior towards him. I’m usually kind to everyone. But I do know I don’t love him anymore so why does it still bother me? I don’t reach out to him; I give him his space and keep to minimal contact. He told me that he feels like he can’t call me to catch up because he thinks I don’t want him to call. Which is true.
He tells me he has nothing but respect for me and he thinks the world of me. I finally had a chance to ask him what exactly his new girlfriend thinks of me and what he’s saying to her because if I was her I would not be OK with me at all. He said that he told her how great of a person I am and how much fun I am, that we’ve been friends since high school and he doesn’t want that to end and that I’m a great friend to have. He said that she said she was OK with us being friends if that’s what made him happy and he told her it was. If my new boyfriend insisted on being friends with his ex, even if they were the best friends in the world, I wouldn’t trust it or his reasons. It’s not like he has a lot of female friends. I was his ONLY close female friend. He even told me that his girlfriend said if she was the one who was in my shoes, her and her friends would hate the new girlfriend. So they see my perspective, why don’t they understand it?
I feel like our whole friendship was based on our attraction for each other which we each kept secret for years. I feel like he’s a different guy now; not the same guy I loved before we were together. He’s tarnished his image of him in my heart based off his actions in handling our break-up. Why does he want to make sure we stay friends SO BADLY. Why doesn’t he see my perspective that even though I don’t love him and I’m over our relationship that it isn’t something I’m jumping at the chance for?
It’s been near 5 months and still all he wants is for me him and him to be friends. Good friends like before. He even went as far to say that he wants his new girlfriend, him and me to all be friends. I keep my distance from them but hang out with our friends when they are around. Recently he and his girlfriend came to my house for our friend’s birthday party. So the three of us being around each other has happened 3 times now and it gets more awkward each time. This last time I completely cold-shouldered him and ignored him as much as possible. His girlfriend talked to me three times. I was nice to her but didn’t offer much back. I feel like I don’t know myself because no matter what he did to me or how bad I feel he treated me, it doesn’t excuse my behavior towards him. I’m usually kind to everyone. But I do know I don’t love him anymore so why does it still bother me? I don’t reach out to him; I give him his space and keep to minimal contact. He told me that he feels like he can’t call me to catch up because he thinks I don’t want him to call. Which is true.
He tells me he has nothing but respect for me and he thinks the world of me. I finally had a chance to ask him what exactly his new girlfriend thinks of me and what he’s saying to her because if I was her I would not be OK with me at all. He said that he told her how great of a person I am and how much fun I am, that we’ve been friends since high school and he doesn’t want that to end and that I’m a great friend to have. He said that she said she was OK with us being friends if that’s what made him happy and he told her it was. If my new boyfriend insisted on being friends with his ex, even if they were the best friends in the world, I wouldn’t trust it or his reasons. It’s not like he has a lot of female friends. I was his ONLY close female friend. He even told me that his girlfriend said if she was the one who was in my shoes, her and her friends would hate the new girlfriend. So they see my perspective, why don’t they understand it?
I feel like our whole friendship was based on our attraction for each other which we each kept secret for years. I feel like he’s a different guy now; not the same guy I loved before we were together. He’s tarnished his image of him in my heart based off his actions in handling our break-up. Why does he want to make sure we stay friends SO BADLY. Why doesn’t he see my perspective that even though I don’t love him and I’m over our relationship that it isn’t something I’m jumping at the chance for?
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