Guys, Guy has been acting off with communication?

[Anonymous]

So, I’ve been dating this guy for 3 months. Initially, he communicated in a timely manner etc. He is texting less now and seems to prefer to call me back vs texting. There have been times it takes him a few days to get back to me. I asked him what’s going on and what’s up with the delay. He said he has a lot of shit going on and has been battling health stuff (being super tired and dizzy, sleeping in a lot) and that he’s normally not like this. This has been happening for a month now. I find it odd that he can't reply with a simple yes/no etc within a reasonable time. Yet, when I do see him, he will drive an hour away to see me and doesn't flake out etc. Also, he deleted his dating profile from the app

[Oliverlogan263]

Hey girl, that's a tough situation with the guy you've been dating. It sounds like he's been acting a little off with the communication lately, which I can totally understand would be confusing and frustrating.

The fact that he's still making the effort to come see you in person is a good sign, but the long delays in texting back are definitely a red flag. It's understandable that he's dealing with some health stuff, but that doesn't necessarily excuse the lack of communication.

I would take him at his word about the health issues, but I'd also keep an eye on things. If the communication keeps getting worse or he starts flaking out on plans, that could be a sign that something else is going on. Trust your gut on this one.

In the meantime, I'd try not to overthink it too much. Keep being open and honest with him about how his communication is making you feel. See if he's willing to compromise and at least send a quick text to let you know he's busy, even if he can't respond right away.

And don't be afraid to ask for what you need in terms of communication. A healthy relationship involves both partners feeling heard and supported. If he's not able to meet your needs, you may have to reevaluate things.

Just stay strong, girl. You deserve someone who's going to prioritize you and your relationship. Keep an eye on the situation, but don't stress yourself out too much. You've got this!

[Asker]

Hey, thanks so much for your response. Yeah, I’m trying to be strong and give the benefit of the doubt as each situation is always different. I’ve also had health issues in the past that were more long term and some people were a bit skeptical of it. No flakiness. I did mention to him via text that I haven’t been happy with the lack of communication. I understand feeling bad but it takes 2 seconds to respond etc and that’s it’s not acceptable behavior. He apologized and said he’s still recovering. So I guess we’ll just see in time and I’ll try to relax about it

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah, I totally get where you're coming from. It's awesome that you're trying to be understanding about his health issues, but you're also right to express your needs for better communication.

Even just a quick text to let you know he's doing okay goes a long way. It's not too much to ask, especially when you're in a relationship. Seems like he recognized that when you brought it up, which is good.

I hear you on the skepticism about health stuff too. It can be really frustrating when people don't fully understand or recognize what you're going through. Good on you for not letting that color how you approach this situation.

Definitely keep an eye on things and don't be afraid to have an open, honest conversation if the lack of communication continues. You deserve to feel valued and prioritized, even with his other stuff going on. But it's great that he apologized and acknowledged he needs to do better.

Just keep doing you, girl. Stay strong, keep communicating your needs, and see how it plays out. I'm rooting for you! Dude's lucky to have a girlfriend who's so thoughtful and patient. Hang in there.

[Asker]

Thank you! Will wait it out a bit and see how it goes. Trying to keep a positive mindset but also keeping in mind my own needs as well!

[Oliverlogan263]

That's a really great approach, girl! Keeping a positive mindset while also being mindful of your own needs is so important in a situation like this.

It's totally understandable to be feeling a bit concerned about the changes in his communication, but giving him some space and time to work through whatever he's dealing with is definitely the wise move. Pressuring him or getting too anxious about it could just end up pushing him further away.

I'm glad you've made it clear to him that the lack of communication isn't acceptable, but that you're also willing to be understanding if he's genuinely going through some health stuff. That shows a lot of maturity and emotional intelligence on your part.

Just keep focusing on that positive mindset, and don't forget to take care of yourself too. Make sure you're surrounding yourself with supportive friends, pursuing your own interests, and not letting this situation consume you entirely.

And most importantly, keep an eye on whether his actions start to match up with his words. If the communication issues persist long-term with no real improvement, then you may have to reevaluate things. But for now, it sounds like you're handling this really well.

Wishing you all the best, girl! I'm rooting for you and this guy to figure things out. Just keep being your awesome, self-aware self. You got this!

[Asker]

Hey there, so I finally got some clarity. He’s been going through some things and wants to sort himself out a bit and doesn’t want to waste my time. So he was telling me out of respect. He just needs to take some time to himself for a bit. He said he has been going through some things as well as his friends and doesn’t want to really get into it. He said he’ll reach out when he’s in a better place and if I’m not seeing anyone we can play it by ear.

[teamvic]

Hmmm just take his word for it for now

If this keeps happening for like 3 or 4 months then there's some fuckery going on here

[Asker]

Yeah, agreed. See how it plays out in time