Do you think you're more likely to fall for someone who is easy to get or hard to get?

Question

For those who don't know, fall for = fall in love with

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Neither, but for completely different reasons.

The "easy" person is undesirable -- if *I* am not "easy" why would I want a guy who is? Let him go find some girl who will give him what he wants and they can both move on after their 5-20min encounter... It's not for me. If I need to get a cheesy "this shirt and the girl in it are made of marriage material" sort of thing going that's fine.

"Hard to get"/"hard to please"/hard to keep" type people are also annoying if they're just playing games. "I'm busy" -- ok, we get it... you're busy... but it's not all about you. "Falling" in relationships requires two people.

"Hard to want" is a category someone mentioned to me a while back. In his opinion, some of us are HIGHLY DESIREABLE but harsh on the system because we are genuinely too busy or too intense or whatever... We legitimately have all the "relationship material" markers, but even if we ARE actively interested in the other person there's just not enough time in the day/week to be able to HAVE and MAINTAIN a relationship.

MoonFace2 · Accepted Answer

Easy to get. I know usually what I want. I know who I am. I’m not going to settle for someone I feel lukewarm about.

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

Easy to get. An easy to get girl is a girl that is deeply interested in me and constantly puts in effort in communication, wants to get to know me, has no issue feeling comfortable or getting physically intimate with me, etc. I'll take the girl that's clearly interested in me rather than the girl that doesn't care one way or a other if I'm there or not every time.

Hard to get girls play games, think they're hot shit, and really don't make you feel valued. Everything I want to avoid.

In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with an "easy-to-get" girl. I'd just see her as a girl that's into me.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

It depends on your definition of that most people want someone who genuinely wants THEM…. So that means not one extreme of someone just wanting anyone who will take them or the other where they just don’t show any interest. Not showing interest most people unless they are obsessed or desperate will move on. But the same goes for if someone who just wants anyone.

I think people want someone to be genuinely attracted to them the way they are attracted unless they’re someone who plays games. Those people don’t really deserve it anyways and deserve to find someone whose also playing games.

ohsheeT · Answer

Both are easy, but it's the same that time both are hard. No matter if it's the easy one or the hard one you have to be on the page with that person if not it's a little bit more difficult

slatyb · Answer

Hard to get? Meaning they have standards but are also high value? I would be very happy to have their attention. Meaning they play games instead of giving a direct answer? Not interested. There is no "maybe". There is only "yes" or "no".

Easy to get? Meaning they are lonely? I am sympathetic, and they can still be of high value but unaware. That's fine too -- I will help them see their own worth. That's how I met my wife. She was out of a traumatic marriage and didn't imagine she was worth much. I saw a very attractive woman with a lot to say and now she sees herself that way.

NicholasRedone · Answer

My problem is actually I'm 30 - and a youthful 30 at that - and that I didn't get to enjoy that energy when I was, say, 20. It's a little odd myself to think I'm still myself a fun enjoyable guy at 30 as if I was still 20. however I'd cringe as that's you know cringey. Anyways. Maybe in my reincarnation in my next lifetime long after this lifetime is done and dusted lol I'll be able to reclaim my 20s but the thing is -" tech became really cool between my 26th and 30th years. I didn't have a smartphone until I was 24/25. Go figure lol 😂😆

RedTiefling · Answer

Easy to get, I want to feel like the girl I'm falling for wants me around. Also I'd feel more confident being bold around her, which I would assume she'd love.

I think it's straight women who like to be challenged in the chase. Either that or they think they'll look desperate, it's not desperate.

This is only in the initial phases of dating. After you've been dating someone for a while and are more securely attached in one's relationship, you both soften up a bit.

Zack-Bann · Answer

I don’t know if it was hollywood or someone else who first perpetrated this notion that “hard to get” is somehow attractive

It’s not

There’s nothing better than normal to get
Not necessarily too easy as in also accessible to other men
But just hard enough to require a bit of substance and effort in the conversation without turning into a game of horny cat and mouse

adventurous-1 · Answer

if they're to hard to get then they're not worth it. Don't like games or jumping through hoops only to find out they are not worth it. Don't like wasting my time and effort on someone that may not be as they've initially presented themselves. Easy keeps life stress free and uncomplicated. You know where you stand and where you're going.

RedThread · Answer

It depends. I don't like when someone is playing hard to get as if it's some kind of game. I don't think dating is a game and I don't treat it as such. I tend to prefer straightforward no-nonsense women but I wouldn't say that makes them easy to get. I just don't like having my time wasted.

TheSmellOfVictoria · Answer

I have always gone for the "class beauty" and have had pretty good success.

Ladsin2 · Answer

Probably needs to be a little of both. If a girl is too hard to get to spend time with or intimately I would likely get frustrated and feel that the chase is pointless because I'm not getting rewarded. If she's too easy I wouldn't see the purpose in chasing after her or trying to prove myself.

trumpetplayerforlife · Answer

I think it's the same but I mean my now husband waited 3 months before meeting me and right after the first date he asked me to be his girlfriend so

Billlewis · Answer

Hard to get, by far. That’s actually what makes you so attractive to me, because I’ve been wanting to spoil you and your man for a long time, but you don’t give me the time of day…lol;)

red-lipstick-girl · Answer

ZI don't like difficult people, I can't deal with them. Nobody is special. There is no point in being difficult.

NathanDavis · Answer

if I don't get them I won't be falling for them

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Easy to get or at least straight forward with their interest.. Hard to get can build desire, but not real love..

HungTexan · Answer

The hunt is part of the fun, and a wiley prey is much more interesting.

Hawaiikai · Answer

Hard to get. Easy to get could become clingy and

exitseven · Answer

I say easy to get. Playing games is a big turn off to me

YourExLover69 · Answer

Easy to get. Who is kind, friendly and open minded chatty. 😊

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

I wouldn't waste my time on a girl who plays hard to get

Anonymous · Answer

I can't imagine a time when I would actively chase anyone. She needs to be interested in me and accommodating for me to take interest.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Hard to get because she doesn't immediately come to you and you have to work to get her.

Dreamclouds · Answer

Who is natural to get, people that make a theatrical play just to fall for them and are not natural are psychos

Crazzyyworld · Answer

Neither.. many men are assholes and many women are bitches. That’s the reality

Alexandra1996 · Answer

Easy to get cause might they think others would be able to get you.

dustybiker2 · Answer

Neither. Neutral, focused and open.

Wise4myage · Answer

Definitely easier to get along with.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I like someone who is genuine and fun.

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on which girl is hotter.

fish5505_87 · Answer

We want what we can't have!

itsannalee · Answer

Nope

Alex-Snow · Answer

Either one I think

dudeinohio · Answer

Easy

blackeagle007 · Answer

Both

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