Should I break up with my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

Okay so, I have been dating him for almost 9 months we are both 25 and from the beginning I told him that I didn’t want kids. He has since been telling me that I will be a wonderful mom and that I just don’t want to have them out of fear and trauma (my parents are not the best) and then he also doesn’t want me dressing a certain way. Before I met him I liked to wear skinny jeans and t shirts molded to my body and now he just wants me to wear baggy things. I also had a belly piercing when we got together but he said it made it difficult for him to hug me or anything bc he was afraid to rip it in accident and hurt me so I took it out. I pay most of the time bc he almost never has enough but he also has things I would like him to stop doing yet he says he will and keeps on doing (smoking is one of them) he treats me really well, aside from all of that and has never cheated or treated me bad which is what makes it difficult for me to walk away. Help? Am I overthinking it?

[HollyK21]

I personally feel like marriage (I know you aren’t talking about marriage) and babies are two uncompromisable milestones, you either want them or you don’t. If one of you doesn’t want either of those things, then that’s where you should let each other go so the person who wants those things can find someone who also wants them too.


Someone who really loves you wouldn’t twist your arm, push, prod and manipulate you into doing something they know you don’t want. Notice how your boyfriend is firm about wanting kids and it’s either his way or the highway? That’s because he isn’t willing to sacrifice a milestone that is important to him fundamentally, aka parenthood, which is fine because he shouldn’t have to.


At the same time you are perfectly valid for not wanting kids, especially with the way things are going for women in this country. We have a lot more to consider about pregnancy even down to the safety of carrying that child without complications that we may or may not be able to legally seek help for. So if you don’t want to bring another life into this mad world or be forced into a motherhood experience that you know you don’t want, then end that relationship. It’s only been 9 months, you’ll be ok.

[trumpetplayerforlife]

They don't have to cheat or threaten you to be controlling but sounds like you don't have the same views... I was for a long time told my now husband I didn't want kids due to the fact I knew I would struggle to get pregnant but he didn't know that part and all he ever told me was as long as he had me that was enough and even now as we are trying and struggling to get pregnant he reassures me that if we can't it okay and that me my is enough

[Anonymous]

You two are incompatible.

[Calru]

As a guy, leave him. That's all