Do you agree that?

[msc545]

Two adults of legal age and either gender should be able to date each other without being harassed or insulted because of their respective ages or the gap in age?

[trumpetplayerforlife]

If both of them are of legal age go for it I don't have an issue

[EmmaMary]

Live and Let Live.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you @msc545 for the MHO.

[777GgG]

I mean it depends. 10 years isn't exactly crazy but you have to consider when they met. If the pair met when one was under age the suspicion is always there that they didn't "wait" until the younger person was legal. Say Tom is 26 and Sarah is 16 when the meet, but the don't begin dating until after Sarah turns 18 that's two years of "just wait"

I've always had a high libido so if I was physically and romanticly attracted to someone and the feelings were mutual I don't think I could wait.

I want my guy daily. Not a fan of when he tells me that I need to wait.

[msc545]

So maybe they didn't wait. Nobody was hamed by that, really, so why care?

[777GgG]

You mentioned legality. One party was underage which means it involves a crime...

[msc545]

Yes, it essentially is a victimless crime for the most part. It's not like it was a child that was involved. Are you one of those people that believes in pursuing every single crime that's committed no matter the solely technical nature of it?

[777GgG]

Again, YOU mentioned legality. And technically that person is still a child... It may be a "victimless crime" but there are plenty of "victimless crimes" that can alter people's lives negatively.
For instance, drugs are considered victimless, until someone dies.

[msc545]

Tell me how this "crime" is a problem for anyone other than you.

[msc545]

I see that you've not responded. I think you have some difficulty understanding that just because something is technically a crime. It doesn't mean that it will be prosecuted or even that it should be. Nobody is going to look back in time and say well gee she was 3 months under age and you guys had sex and therefore we're going to arrest both of you. That just doesn't happen. It costs too much and it doesn't prevent any crimes and it serves no practical or social purpose whatsoever. It's important to understand that we generally enforce the spirit of the law in addition to enforcing the letter of the law in some cases. In other cases, we consider that the spirit of the law has not been broken and we don't bother with technical violations. This is called discretion and it is a very important concept in law enforcement.

[777GgG]

I comprehend just fine that just because it's illegal doesn't mean that it should be... Again, you were the one to bring up the legality of the situation not me. But technically a child is involved.
It far too many cases just because the "child" is old enough to make that decision and competent as well does mean that there aren't issues involved. I have a friend whose first boyfriend was about 9 years older. That man groomed the hell out of my friend. Initially, aside from that gap, it didn't seem awful. Then the facade started to crack. In the end he wasn't a nice man. Honestly I can't help but feel that is my friend had been older then the grooming would've been more apparent.
Also, there have been many men and women who have been hit with the book for something as little as that 3 month age gap you mentioned. You said yhey're not going to "arrest both of you" you're absolutely right. They're going to arrest the adult because the other party is still, in they eyes of the law, a child. Making them the victim, whether they say 'I wanted it" or not. Also that discretion tends to go out the window with enough pressure. Mom and dad find out about the gap and press charges and with that your victimless crime becomes and prosecutable crime. I'll remind you that it's a law for a reason. They don't generally say something just for the hell of it. But I understand laws change.
Grand scheme I do see it as a crime. But I will still maintain that it should be viewed in case by case way. I understand that every large gap doesn't involve grooming. My partner is several years younger than me. Had I met him ten years prior the age gap would bother me some.

[msc545]

So the problem is what, exactly? Your opinions and feelings?

[777GgG]

You asked a question. I offered my opinion. Seems that the problem is that you don't like that my opinion doesn't like up with yours. Which is perfectly fine. Shockingly we're allowed to disagree and co-exist.

[777GgG]

*line

[msc545]

I very much disagree with you - obviously.

[Amy10223]

Yes, I agree you can date whoever you wish to date, as long as you don’t break the law with a minor. Others should know not to meddle in other people’s love lives.

[dustybiker2]

People have their own life experiences. They are also responsible for their own behaviors. Both sides of the question.

[Agape93]

Long as they're adults and nobody is groomed in advance before adulthood and nobody is being forced, I don't give a fuck.

[NathanDavis]

not if there was grooming, not if they're family... long etcétera...

couples should not be harassed or insulted though... there's laws for this

[lightbulb27]

This answer pmus as a parental figure i get extra rights to put foot down. Experience… because i will end up dealing w the consequences.

[msc545]

No, you don't get extra rights in this situation. You just want them.

[lightbulb27]

Just had the scenario… im gonna impose some rules and so would you.

[msc545]

I don't impose rules on other adults.

[lightbulb27]

Age does not equal adult. Only in the law. There is a door if they dont like the boundaries established to protect themselves and the family that would ultimately suffer the consequences of bad choices. there's no getting around ‘selfishness’. That said if i assess adults and no mischief/ trauma control, then is their life.

[msc545]

Assess yourself and your need to control others.

[Sevenpointfive]

no. if you know she's out of your league then it's embarrassing. that leads to stereotypes about both individuals that are proven through analysis.

[Communicationisking]

Yes should be able to... reality well that can make it hard for something out of the ordinary

[exitseven]

Yes, everyone is entitled to make their own mistakes

[Anonymous]

I won’t harass or insult but I’ll silently judge

[dustybiker2]

lol.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I most definitely do.

[dean53AU]

I agree