Have we ruined Dating by creating too many rules?

[Iquestioneverything]

If you think about it, Dating is not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing. We all look for different qualities in other people, have different goals, different personalities and expectations. So it’s unrealistic that we have so many rules for Dating that don’t work for everyone.

Should we be taking a step back and go back to more primal instincts for dating before we turn future dating experiences into unrealistic failures?

[ohsheeT]

Well that leave me just where I want to be.

I don't care about anyone's rules but my own
And they are if I don't like her I'm not going to date or go out with her

If she has A beautiful heart.
If she is kind if she is smart if she is happy if shethere's then she's beautiful.
On the inside and that's what matters to me. The outside is usually just extra bonus

I'm gonna treat her with respect and kinthe same way I want to be treated

If I asked her out It's because I like her and i'm going to pay. No matter what we do

And of course. When we say good night I will know if it's OK to kiss her Goodnight.

And if im asked to spend the night of course. I'm going to. Because. We have already done all the above together as friends. Anyway and we know who each other are. . That's the reason we would start dating.

[conanbdetective]

It's not a matter of rules. It's a matter of a very different social climate that we're all navigating. We're less tolerant of our time being wasted. Everyone, potentially, is one DM away.

So with those in mind, any cancellation is a reason to get ghosted. A bad date? Ghosted, if you're lucky. God forbid you say 1 wrong thing and you're lambasted everywhere at any point. We're always ready 1 foot out the door to any incongruence we perceive.

There's probably more like our hyper-fixation on s3x and accumulation of luxury as a generation, rationales about labeling a relationship without a supposed label, treatment of a date as if it were a soup kitchen, every piece of unmet standard supercede the positives (given the standards are equal in weight) etc etc

But also, what do you mean by 'primal instinct'?

[Iquestioneverything]

Primal instincts are for instance when you find someone you are interested in and go on a date, finding physical attraction is important, feeling comfortable with another is important, sharing mutual interests is another, seeing yourself wanting to touch them all over is another. But asking what job they have, if they hold a door open, if they pay on a date or night don’t matter at all for a good relationship it’s wasteful points to dwell on. Focus on the first things that come to mind when you meet someone you like.

[Shiprex]

@iquestioneverything
that sounds like hook up culture and not healthy relationship speak.

[Hellraiser1984]

YES! Way too many rules and unrealistic expectations. Why would a rich guy want a 300lb woman who works at Walmart? Some women are like that. They truly expect it to happen. Just like some guys who truly think a beautiful woman is going to fall in love with him because he has a good heart. Too many rules has seriously destroyed dating for me. Most people don't make more than $50k a year. Why do people expect everyone they date to be rich? They're not rich themselves and shouldn't expect a rich person to fall in love with them.

[Iquestioneverything]

I completely agree! Too much focus on money these days, it doesn’t have to be this way.

[glennos89]

Men are becoming more feminine by the day and woman become more masculine by the day. We are heading for a major disaster if something doesn't change.

Online dating apps also ruin dating completely for a lot of people

[Anonymous]

I don't think most women know what a quality man looks and acts like. They think they do. And it's that insistence that is thier undoing. I think most women are just doomed to repeat the same failed patterns. So if by "rules" you mean that, then yeah.😆

[Anonymous]

I can't believe all the "rules" girls talk about on here and "is it a red flag..." questions. WTF is a red flag? I don't have any of these ridiculous and phony standards and I have no idea where they came from. Every person is different and you have to get to know who they are.

[incorrected]

I didn't know there were rules. Maybe that's why I'm single? What are these rules?

[SolitarySolace]

Women ruined dating because they wanted it to benefit them and not men. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[missindiana93]

I agree.

[Games_]

Women ruined dating because they killed chivalry with feminism

[Nikki1989]

People ruin it for themselves, especially men. This website should be proof positive of that. It is no wonder so many are miserable and so very bitter.

[Iquestioneverything]

That’s not making you sound good blaming others. This site isn’t reliable on normal behavior it’s more like a place to open about secrets so I’m not going by posts on here. Why are you so bitter? There has to be something done to you to be so angry

[Games_]

There’s no way you also aren’t miserable

[Shiprex]

Men haven't ruined it, women took the liquidity out of things and became like men in the economics sense so have to find other things for men to impress them with but aren't equipped or intent on finding out about what makes men tick. They want men to provide something that isn't even a thing.

[Games_]

The women is the one that losses in the end regardless, because she can’t get a partner to settle down with and take seriously

[missindiana93]

All woman care except maybe 10 percent is money.

[eagle1951]

yess