Is he playing mind games? Why do guys do this?

[Anonymous]

A guy that I’ve been talking to online in a more than friendly way recently seemingly put me in the friend zone because he doesn’t trust me since I found out his identity, but he also was super vague about it. I asked why he wasn’t flirting back and he said:

“you might not get much of a response from me because now I feel like you know me and shouldn’t say those things. But I still think your hot af and like being friends with you”

Then a day or two later he started liking some NSFW posts from my page (not of me, just stuff that I like).

A week later I left the site where we met and I sent him a little note saying goodbye not expecting to hear from him. I did say that he could say hi on another messenger if he wanted, not expecting him to, and he popped up right away asking what happened.

Since we’ve been chatting there he sends me pics every week of things he cooks and then sent me a pic of him by the pool showing his legs…

Is he playing mind games or am I just overthinking it? Why do guys do this to women?

[StarWarGirl]

If someone needs to hide their identity for doing something means they are ashamed of doing what they do or feel it is not right or is insecure about those things.

He himself told you that he should not be doing that. Means he himself feel that's wrong. Now question is why he feels so? I get only one answer of that, he isn't so serious about it. Flirting is only way to have fun or just fool around. He does not have any intention to have a relationship.

But same time he enjoys your company and wants to keep you around that's why he is trying to hold your interest in him.

[Asker]

@starwargirl Thank you! That makes sense… I just wish he would keep it clear and not do things that I feel like keep giving me that little glimmer of hope, you know? It just feels a little mean

[MannMitAntworten]

You are over thinking. Your, “finding out” his identity likely creeped him out on some level no more than when a guys does that with a woman. He seems cautiously consistent with you but warming up as he proceeds. This isn’t a hot or cold thing.

[Asker]

@mannmitantworten I didn’t write this here because I didn’t want to make the question super long. He found out I knew his identity almost a year ago… up until four months ago he continued sexting me and now he says he doesn’t want to because I know him all these months later… I don't know if that changes anything.

[MannMitAntworten]

@septemberintherain I think he was still feeling himself out towards you and trying to figure you out in the process.

[PaleDale]

Immature. Stupid games. I don't have patience with that shite

[Asker]

@paledale he’s so playing with me, right? Honestly don’t get the point…

[PaleDale]

Sorry, guys do this because they're immature and can't handle the idea of a serious relationship. It's just mean-spirited.

[Asker]

@paledaleHate this! do you think it could be his way of getting sort of revenge cuz he’s mad I know who he is?

[PaleDale]

My bet he's been rejected too many times and he has a beef with women in general. Really pathetic when these guys take out their screwed up crap on totally good, decent people. I think he didn't trust you because of his past rejections and he probably can't really trust anyone.

[Asker]

@paledale that makes a lot of sense I know he has trust issues and hasn’t dated a lot in general…

I guess if he won’t close the door, I’ll have to do it for him!

[PaleDale]

Definitely, the best thing to do is to move on when you realize this is the kind of guy you're actually dealing with.

[Asker]

Just so infuriating how hard he chased me and when I showed actual interest we end up like this. Hate it though because it’s all subtle enough to make it seem like I’m crazy and imagining things :/

[PaleDale]

No, you're just a good, decent, trusting person. Hate to say it, but that's exactly the kind of person predators like him go after. Just take as a silver lining is that you're a good person and a lot better than him. The contrast can be a real eye-opener.

[Asker]

Aw thank you 🥹

[PaleDale]

👍👍👍

[PaleDale]

Thanks

[bowenw]

It seems like he is playing mind games possibly because he knows how it will mess with your head.

[Wayneg89]

Definitely playing games. I'm sorry he did this to you.