Why have I just gotten to a point where I’ve accepted that I’ll never be loved romantically? I’ve completely stopped trying and it feels wrong?

[Anonymous]

I am asked a lot if I’m dating anyone or where I meet anyone and it always trips me up because it doesn’t cross my mind anymore as a possibility in my future. I don’t really feel good or bad about it, just completely indifferent. I’m not sure how I arrived here. Would I love to meet a guy and be in a relationship? Absolutely. But I just feel/know that it’s not a possibility.
Im commonly called weird by people, I’m autistic and so I have a lot of crazy interests. Guys aren’t interested in anything beyond an initial conversation. I can tell maybe they think I’m pretty and respect me as a person but we just don’t connect at all.
Im not trying to get anyone to feel bad for me, I just wonder how normal this feeling is and if it’s just a phase. I know I’d be a great partner and mom, but I cannot get past these thoughts that I’m undesirable romantically.

[natured]

You are being too hard on yourself and over analyzing your personality. So what if you're autistic? Doesn't mean you're less lovable, doesn't mean you're not an amazing human being. Don't hide behind people's opinions.
You came into this world alone and you will die alone it's a fact, but in the meantime you should be happy withyourself and love yourself to the fullest capacity because you deserve it.
As for a partner? Trust me, I'm speaking from experience, you will find a man when you least expect it, until then ENJOY YOURSELF !!

[MannMitAntworten]

I cannot speak to the never being in a relationship/loved aspect. As for the part about being a spouse and parent I think that area of sentiment you carry is becoming more the normal than the abnormal anymore. Depending on what part of the world you are in, being “weird” can be a selling point from what I gather these days.

[sawno]

You liking computer stuff is already a plus, girls like that are rare which is frustrating as a computer geek. I don't think what you listed is a blocker.

[Asker]

Maybe I seem like a know it all or too smart.
In my free time I sketch out computer architecture.

Maybe it’s my physical attractiveness. I’m like a size 6 and 5’8 and am pale with reddish hair.

[sawno]

I'm from Europe so I don't know what size 6 means, I am 6'1 so 5'8 is great. Plenty of guys (if not the majority) like red hair, I personally like any natural hair color. I'm an IT sysadmin so its quite possible you know more of low level architectures that me but to me it just seems like you'd appreciate me sharing my hobbies with you. Lets say I made a terminal server policy that can do something that is normally something you'd need to buy management software for and I come home all excited and share what I made you'd probably love to hear all about it. If you sketched out a computer architecture that probably goes over my head with how theoretical it is, but i'd enjoy listening to you explain what you built. So all this goes well with a geeky guy.

Your a geeky girl so you need a geeky guy who can appreciate it. Luckily for you those tend to be familiar with autism so they tend to handle it well. Where you need to look is where computer geeks are. That can be at home and online in communities catering to the hobby, but you'd be in a minority as a girl making you automatically stand out as a dating option. Just be a bit careful since a lot of guys there may be inexperienced so you do need to vet them well enough to make sure they treat you right. Don't be blinded by attention.

[Anonymous]

You probably have found it's just easier. Life get infinitely easier once you eliminate the opposite gender from it in anything but a platonic way.

[seeyounexttuesday]

what are your crazy interests?

[Asker]

Computer science, equestrian sports, I’m writing a novel, funny things that have happened to me in the past, etc

[seeyounexttuesday]

So find yourself a computer horse guy