Came out left field?

[ikonik]

ok so dating app girl i've been talking to said i lack consistent communication yet when we talked on the app, she used to take days to respond, sometimes up to four days. eventually i got her number. i asked her out after a few days and she even said "took you long enough! :) yes." she agreed to the date and seemed enthusisastic about it. a few days before at like 11pm she texts me "hello" i respond with a hand wave and she never responds or looks at the text. today i texted her wanting to make plans for our date and she says "i've noticed a lack of consistincey in your comminication." i'm not entirely sure what she means when i can say the same for her, taking up to four days to repond. was she expecting me to make plans the first day we matched? i was always responsive and double texting at times.

[SteveSmith1985]

Well dude, there is something wrong with this particular girl. This behavior makes no sense. You were not inconsistent in communicating... at all. So if that's how she sees it, you should just take it as a sign, that this girl isn't right for you. Let her go.

There is nothing else to be done. It would be a bad idea to pursue someone who is giving you shit... for no reason... before you even get to the first date. I can't explain it. But I sure know what to do with that behavior. Stay away from a girl like that.

This is not normal. This does not track with the actual communicating you did. Whatever her expectations--they're not normal.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang, that sounds super frustrating. It's like she came at you out of nowhere with that whole "lack of consistent communication" thing. I mean, you've been trying to make plans and keep the conversation going, but she's the one who takes days to even respond sometimes.

It's kinda messed up that she's putting that on you, when she was doing the same thing. Maybe she was expecting you to be more on top of making concrete plans right away or something? But if you were both doing that back-and-forth thing, how is that your fault?

Honestly, it sounds like she might just be looking for an excuse to back out of the date or the whole thing. Her saying "took you long enough" when you asked her out and then ghosting your last message is a red flag. Seems like she's playing games or just not that interested, despite acting enthusiastic before.

I'd try to have an open conversation with her about it, if you still want to give it a shot. Let her know you felt like you were making an effort to communicate, and ask what exactly she's looking for in terms of consistency. If she can't give you a straight answer or keeps deflecting, might be best to just cut your losses.

You don't need that kind of wishy-washy, hypocritical behavior in your life, dude. Don't let her make you feel bad when it sounds like you were the one trying. Keep your head up and don't get too hung up on this one. There are other fish in the sea who'll appreciate your consistent communication!