How do I understand without opening up?

[Anonymous]

I have had a crush on a guy who is older than me for 6 months now. He is one of the kindest guys alive. He always help people, so polite, so thoughtful, a good listener, a good friend and recently I realized he is protective over me too. Not in a bad way, on the contrary in a caring way. I was thinking maybe he is also into me. But nowadays I got the chance to meet most of his friends and seeing how he treats everyone, how everyone loves him, I started to think he might not see me in the same way. I suddenly got the thought of he sees me as a younger good friend. And I got kind of disappointed but I'm not sure. How can I understand if he thinks I'm just a younger good friend for him or maybe a little bit more special than this? I don't want to open up yet, I don't want to ruin our friendship if it's one sided. Can you give me advices?

[Communicationisking]

Difficult this question is. I admire your honesty and rational thinking, well done.

I think just continuing to be yourself is a good start but at some point you will have to open up at least a little to get the answers you are seeking.

I mean if he is genuinely the person you say/think he is then having discussion with him most likely won't end up with him brushing you. The picture you have painted of him is a genuine caring person so if he is not interested in you then have a good chat although probably a little awkward for you both at the time but better to know than to not know right

[Asker]

I met him 10 months ago and started to feel something around 6 months ago but I had a hard time about accepting and embracing my feelings because of the age gap and the fact we were just friends. It was a process but I finally managed to accept it because they were there and they were true. So that's when I started to look for crumbs of interest in him. I had this little hope because of the way he was so caring, so polite, helpful and considerate. But not in a "pursuing" way at all. You know what I mean? Once I was feeling down and he realized that, he was working and I was at home. Then later in the evening, he brought me homemade cookies so randomly and casually and went. All of these things are small but so nice. But at the same time, I didn't want to be delusional. Nowadays I got the chance to meet and join his friends group for an event and I'm the new one, the youngest one so he is protective and caring about me. So I couldn't help but getting my hopes up but then I realized, he was nice and kind to everyone, everyone loves him and treats him with such a respect. So at that point, that idea hit me. Maybe he sees me just as a good friend who's younger than him. Maybe these gestures and all are not about me but the way he treats his loved ones. Maybe I'm not that special to him. I don't really know. I actually wanted to spend more time with him when I accepted my feelings. To see where it was going without denying and holding myself back. And that's what I have been doing since then. But now, I have doubts and I don't want to open up if that's the case. Because it will be so awkward afterwards. He won't know how to approach me, I will feel embarrassed and shy around him. And I'm afraid of losing him. I know that he is a kind person who wouldn't make me feel bad about it at all, but I would still feel guilty and bad. That's why I'm trying to be a little bit more sure at first 🥲

[Lliam]

Do you know what his dating life is like or if he's in a relationship?

Maybe he has been reticent about asking you out for fear that you might think he is too old for you.

Do you ever get opportunities to be alone with him? If so, you might try sitting very close and gaze into his eyes adoringly while you two chat. Tell him that you think he is a wonderful person and that you like him a lot. Flat out ask him if he would ever like to go on a date with you.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

[Asker]

I know that he hasn't been dating anyone in a long time because of some specific reasons. I also thought the same thing you know, if I had concerns about being too young for him maybe he had the concerns being too old for me. But I don't know. Yes we get opportunities to be alone. Sometimes we have wonderful chats having some tea together. I told him that he is one of the kindest human beings I know once and he got shy saying I was flattering him. It wasn't for flirting or something tho, I meant it. And he has so beautiful eyes that sometimes when he talks I forget about the world getting lost in his eyes 😭 and then I blush. But I have never been this open and I'm afraid of losing this connection as friends if he says I'm just a friend to him

[MasterKS]

What do you want from him?

[Asker]

I had a hard time about accepting my feelings because he is much older than me and we have been friends but I finally accepted it and embraced my feelings because they are true. So, I would actually want to date him if he is interested but I'm not sure about that. I recently got the idea maybe nothing he does ever meant he was into me but rather he is just nice with people he cares about

[MasterKS]

@asker wants to seduce him? wants him to be in relationship with you?

[Asker]

What do you mean by seducing? I just simply have a big crush on him and want to date him, I'm a commitment person if it works out

[MasterKS]

@asker seducing means attract him for sex.

[Asker]

No no, I love his soul and heart

[MasterKS]

@asker you won't get him. better find other options. sorry!

[Asker]

Why would you say that?

[MasterKS]

@asker that happens some decades ago not now.

[Asker]

Falling in love?😂 if you think so, we don't have anything to discuss about rn

[Anonymous]

Your ages?

[Asker]

I'm 21, he is almost 31

[Opinion Owner]

Too old. Won’t work. He’s a predator

[Asker]

We are both adults, it's not like I'm underage or something

[Opinion Owner]

lol forget it