How do you know if they’re “the one”?

[Anonymous]

I’m 24 and I can’t seem to get how people know.

There’s this one guy I like. He’s extremely funny and always makes me laugh, often just to make me smile. He’s very quick to say sorry and try fix things. He told me he had a dream a few days ago where he had a son, woke up and felt really sad- he really wants to be a dad.
He’s never pressured me to do anything and he’s still a virgin at 21, so maybe it’s just the nerves with that one?
We used to like each other and I ended it because he never made moves on me or put much effort in so I felt he didn’t actually want me. This time round he stopped smoking so he’s more alive- he just made me rings made from spoons today…
He doesn’t have money or much ambition when it comes to jobs or working.
He genuinely does have a good heart and is a great person.
I’m at a loss what to do
Making choices are so scary.
Also, don’t come for me, I’ve been alone since I was 16 so

[Anonymous]

From everything you’re saying this guy doesn’t sound like the one, but instead just a good candidate. I feel like once you find “that person”, it’s unlike any connection you’ve ever felt before and it’s nothing you have to work towards — it’s already there. With your friend it sounds like he’s more into you than you are into him, which is usually a good sign that they will consistently do their part in a romantic relationship. I think that if you were to give him another chance and you two seriously buckled down you could have something successful. But when you’re sifting through the pros and cons in the manner that you are, it’s almost as though you’re trying to talk yourself into liking him because he checks off boxes and seems like a good fit. You may have even come to be mutually interested but it’s not like it was love at first sight or you were into him from the start. You saw more in him because he saw more in you. All this to say, try not to settle. You’re young and there’s no rush to have certain experiences or meet certain milestones.

[Asker]

I actually like him first and asked him out basically! Im definitely not trying to talk myself into liking him😅 he’s extremely funny, super attentive to emotions etc, he’s a soft guy. My only thing with trying to find the one is, when do all my pros and cons become silly? Like, no one is perfect and he has downfalls but so do I. Like if I find Mr right, what are the odds that, for him, I’m not the one. So he ticks alll my boxes but what if I don’t tick his?
Definitely wasn’t love at first sight because when we met I was in a long term relationship and we were also colleagues so yeah…😅
But yes, no rush and not just settle.
It’s such a mess with my mind thing… so much to unpack with this guy. I definitely will say, no guy has ever made me laugh or made me feel cared about like this guy.
Like when people marry, do they just accept their partners flaws or do people typically match with their partners?

[Nikki1989]

When you meet him, you will know.

If you need to ask this question, he is probably not a keeper.

[Asker]

It’s not that he’s not a keeper, I just have zero skills with people and relationships due to me having zero family and never been shown good relationships or how real relationships are. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t know when I meet him because I don’t even know how things are meant to look like etc

[ohsheeT]

You're never gonna know the Thing that you have to know is if you are the one if you are true to yourself, if you love yourself. If you can commit to yourself then you can do all the above with somebody else


Because the thing is no matter what you cannot control anybody you cannot tell anybody what To do they have to want to do it And any moment of any day So one can change their mind and you would hope that they can communicate that to you. But there's a lot that don't. They would rather just go cheat on you and that's just wrong.

So if there is somebody that you like and you get along.
And good quality person The only thing you can really do is make your part of it work. They have to do the same thing. And if they're not then you have to be able to communicate about it in a good way

[Summeroflove]

That’s so different for everyone just take things slow and see where they go. Also many superficial and materialistic people who would judge your relationship believe me when I say they’re not happy. What matters is if you’re both genuinely happy with one another that’s what matters people judge no matter what.

People who marry for money don’t make those genuine connections. They cheat. Get cheated on. Get discarded.

[Fanfare690]

Don't rush into things. He'll get you pregnant then ghost

[Asker]

He definitely wouldn’t. We’ve also never slept with each other and again, he’s never pressured me nor even tried anything with me. He does have a good heart, even if I did get pregnant, he wouldn’t leave. He’s too obsessed with me lol. Always has been.

[Fanfare690]

You never know with men... all it takes for them to cut and all feelings are lost that's with most. But im glad he's not like that but just take your time and have a good time
Wear protection babies are extremely hard to take care of. My son turns 2 soon and I'm exhausted

[Asker]

Oh no not this one lol. This one I know, he’s definitely absolutely nothing like how most men are. We’ve known each other for years and this isn’t the first time we’ve liked each other. and again, we aren’t sleeping together. He definitely would want to but he’s such a good guy that he not once has asked me or pressured me or nothing.
I’m sure you’re doing great as a mother x it’s definitely not an easy job… hang in there x

[Fanfare690]

Thanks sweetie, I hope he takes good care of you. He sounds like a really good guy!

[glennos89]

If they look like me you have problem found the right one 😜

[Iron_Man]

Listen to Your heart it will tell you