I met a guy yesterday. I don't know if the date went well or not. Should I text him today thanking him?

[Anonymous]

He paid for our date and bought me flowers. I’m not sure if he was interested or not. Should I sent him thank you text or wait for him to text me?

[HollyK21]

If you’re interested despite the awkward first date or at the very least want some sort of closure then you lose absolutely nothing by reaching out. I say this because there was nothing there to lose in the first place, you only met a day prior. There’s no way your pride or fear of rejection should keep you from following up about a simple first date with someone you’ve hardly known 24 hours.


What you’ve also got to keep in mind is that he may very well have the same or similar thoughts circulating through his brain about the first date. Societal norms make it the guys job to make the first move when in reality both genders are perfectly capable of acting on how they feel when it’s fair.


You and this guy have no kind of history to take in to account. No ‘well he/she always reaches out first so I wanna let them come to me’ as a reference point. You only have an initial meeting and maybe a couple exchanges planning the date, so you lose nothing by saying something.


The only exception to this would be if you mean that you “met” in person for the first time but have already been talking for a few days/weeks. In which case I’d use your prior interactions vs how he’s acting now to gauge how well he feels the date went. For example, total silence or short responses vs consistent communication through the day. Then yeah it could be a sign of disinterest.

[Asker]

We were talking on the phone almost every day before we met. It’s been over 24 hours and he hasn’t called or texted me

[HollyK21]

I think that would be the exception I mentioned then😕 despite that I would still say you don’t lose much by reaching out and asking how he think the date went. I know you mentioned thanking him for the date which you still could but asking how the date went is much more straightforward. Then you can actually know where you guys stand vs thanking him and simply getting some sort of “no problem”.

[Asker]

I’m tired of getting rejected :/

[HollyK21]

Rejection is never fun but it’s part of dating, and if you’re going to put yourself out there then you must make peace with that in your mind. Your self esteem should at least be in a place that you can be rejected and it not do a number on you. Like this dude is virtually no one, just a guy you’ve been chatting with so there’re shouldn’t be all the emotions behind it.

If you’re not in that place where you feel comfortable asking questions, then please work on it, because while playing the field you must be able to act in your best interest. That means asking for transparency, and being intentional with any time you invest in a man. When I was dating, towards the end of it my state of mind was cut throat, I asked the important questions, got the closure, did whatever I needed to do as soon as if needed to be done because I’m not in the business of wasting my time or anyone else’s. Make it about you, and asking these questions so that you can sooner push the wrong guy out of the doorway so he can’t block the right one.

[EmmaMary]

For fuck's sake... In return for the flowers, did you not think of asking/begging him to give you a damn good fucking... What a missed opportunity!

[Asker]

I did say to him thanks when gave it to him. I meant should I text him first?

[EmmaMary]

Absolutely... And ask him when he's going to do the "Dastardly Deed"!

[Asker]

But It was very hard to read him. At the end of the date we had awkward silences. Maybe he was shy I don't know. I want to put the ball on his court

[EmmaMary]

Well, you're certainly old enough now to make your own mind up.

[Asker]

What would you suggest?

[EmmaMary]

I certainly wouldn't text him... I would ring and actually Talk to him.

[Asker]

Wouldn’t that be desperate?

[EmmaMary]

For fuck's sake... How many more stupid ridiculous questions are you going to keep asking? Just fucking get on and do whatever. smh

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[slatyb]

It's fine to say thank you and and tell him you enjoyed it.

[Nikki1989]

If you really don't know, it probably didn't go well at all.

[Asker]

Yeah, should I send him thank you text nevertheless?

[MasterKS]

yes, why not?

[Asker]

But It was very hard to read him. At the end of the date we had awkward silences. Maybe he was shy I don't know. I want to put the ball on his court.
If he was interested wouldn’t he have texted me first?

[MasterKS]

why wasting time in small thing? ask openly and be clear!

[Asker]

But I would look so desperate and I don’t want to look desperate

[MasterKS]

does it make any difference? if he wants he likes it if not he reject.

[Asker]

Our date only lasted like 50 minutes and we had awkward silences :/