Why Are People Brutal With Job Advice But Opposite With Dating Advice?

[fonduegirl]

hear me out lol. as an individual, you can tell another person you actually work in the burning pits of hell and the most you'll get is "yeah haha" or "meh" or "that's all how jobs are". but if you do the same about your partner, if you complain about them, suddenly everyone's like "maybe you should leave them" or "that's definitely a red flag"... i don't get it? in both situations, the person is facing problems with adjustment and stress, but why are people kinder in the dating advice scenario? like, i have been on both sides and i have never heard one person tell me that the boss is the bad guy or i deserve better... but if i grumble about my boyfriend, suddenly everyone's all fatherly and "there there you poor thing"

Updates

1 y

"most jobs suck" DID YOU KNOW MOST PEOPLE SUCK TOO.. not to mention they both require tons of compromises? From the POV of adjustment psychology, they operate on the same level x

[Finchie40]

Unfortunately both can be brutal or both can be alright or one better than the other. Life is pretty much 2 sides of a coin , not everyone is going to agree or disagree with us on things , Some people love their jobs and some people hate their jobs , some people Love their relationship and some do not. Why it’s best to do what you feel is best for yourself , without advertising your dirty laundry to anyone else. If you are having troubles in your relationship that should be something only you and your partner should be discussing, because you more than likely will always hear advice from others if you open your mouth, , I can’t tell you how many times other people have told me to dump a girl I was dating or quit my job because I was stressed about something , it’s ok to hear advice but you are best to make your own decisions

[Purpleronnie]

Well I can probably understand why you’d say that , less than good jobs are more accepted these days or the expectation is lower than that of relationships.. generally speaking. It’s perhaps also true that more people are emotionally affected by a bad relationship than a bad job so are perhaps quicker to offer advice and or support. Generally speaking personal investment in a relationship is much greater than that of a job and so the need for support is more understood and relatable should it go south

[hannamontana]

People usually expect jobs to be stressful, so when you complain about work, others often just say “that’s how it is” or joke about it. It’s seen as normal and something you have to deal with. But when it comes to relationships, things are more personal and emotional. If you talk about problems with your partner, people tend to be kinder and more protective because they understand how much relationships affect your feelings and self-worth. Plus, people often believe you have more control in relationships than at work, so they encourage you to stand up for yourself. That’s why dating advice is usually softer and more supportive compared to job advice.

[DishLady]

Personal space and professional space are different.


At work you’re unified in confronting a challenge so you grin and bear it together… and you’re all ok. You need the job to keep the roof over your head etc.


At home … home is where you regenerate and enjoy your life. If you’re unhappy at home there’s no team to help you… so if you’re dating a dbag on your downtime and he/she is toxic etc then YOU LEAVE.


Similarly, if you feel singled out at work and sense things are toxic for you… YOU LEAVE.

[Simslover92]

Maybe because it's more delicate and personal with dating than it is with jobs. I guess people feel like with jobs it's a dog eats dog world so you need to hear the cutthroat truth but with dating, it's such a touchy subject that people often try to be more subtle and nice about it.

[college-student2021]

Well first , most jobs suck and people are just looking at it practically what benefits them , for example I heard of people in the United States recently jumping from one company to another in order to secure a better salary. It’s rare to see someone love their boss or their job , most people I know think their boss a dick. ( confirm in the comment section if it’s applies to you)


Meanwhile with dating , since it comes with emotions , people tend to be more careful. Like most people won’t tell you to marry a bad partner, but to avoid at all cost for obvious reasons.

[OneViewpoint]

I don't know what you're talking about. I have no problem telling you you're a dumbass for putting yourself in bad situations whether it's a job or a relationship. That you're a part of your own problem. That you need to establish boundaries. That it's time to move on.

I can only guess that some people are more concerned with being liked than delivering useful advice.

[alli-112]

Because jobs are less personal than dating in a lot of ways. Also, everyone knows jobs suck, that's why you get paid to do them - to motivate you to do the thing you don't want to do. You aren't paid to be dating your partner, so if your relationship isn't bringing you joy, then there probably isn't much that it is doing.

[NathanDavis]

I actually give the same advice on both...

if you're not happy and fulfilled then GTFO of it...

[Grond21]

This is an artifact of your culture. In the US many will absolutely tell you to find a new job.

[Jamie05rhs]

It's because having a job is mandatory, but having a partner isn't.

[Cormac995]

losing a job doesn't break your heart

[fonduegirl]

Bold assumption

[Charliefretz329]

Because no one wants dating advice

[WhitneySnow]

I am very kind in giving job advice

[Sam1133]

Because humans are emotional full..