Marriage….. or Not Marriage?

[Prin97]

I have been building up a relationship with a woman over the last few months, she used to sit over the other side of the room and now she sits directly behind me!

She likes to talk to me and I enjoy talking with her. When I am talking to other people at the coffee break I can feel eyes on me, I look around and Harriet quickly turns away and drops her head then looks really shy.

She is a lovely woman and I kind of get the impression that she, well, likes me.

I found out that she is getting married and thought, if you love this guy then why are you flirting like crazy with me.

So my question to you people is this:
Should someone, it doesn’t matter if they are male or female, flirt like this if they are apparently getting married?

Updates

11 mo

She has been caught locking eyes as well.

[alli-112]

Dude, unless she's overtly hitting on you (obvious sexual comments, literally asking you out romantically, etc), assume that it's platonic. None of that sounds inherently romantic or sexual. You can, in fact, make eye contact with people of the opposite sex without it being a sexual advance.

Point being, no, she's not flirting with you, she probably doesn't even realize you think that way.

[hannamontana]

Nah, if you’re getting married, you shouldn’t be flirting with someone else. It’s just shady. Either you’re all in, or you’re not. If she’s acting like that, maybe there’s something off in her relationship—but still, not your mess to be in the middle of.

[Zack-Bann]

Most girls don’t have the same threshold for flirting as guys.
Just like the women replying here are saying:
This is not flirting. You just want it to be.


You are not one coffee break away from taking her from her husband on the altar


Just move on


It’s bad timing with this one
I’ve been there a few times

[RavVid]

Absolutely not. She should not be marrying if she is interested in other... like you for instance

[DishLady]

It doesn't sound like she's ACTUALLY doing anything to flirt with you. I think you just have a bad case of wishful thinking (meaning you WANT her so you automatically presume everything she is doing is flirtatious).

[HollyK21]

This doesn’t sound like flirting… just being honest.

[Prin97]

Can you please explain flirting to me please?

[HollyK21]

Maybe you can better provide examples of what else you perceive to be flirting, because all you mentioned here was that she sat behind you, and you’ve caught her looking. Then you proceed to insist that she’s flirting like crazy but provide no examples.

[HollyK21]

I feel like there’s a lack of self awareness here, because for as much as you feel as though you catch her staring and etc, have you stopped to consider the fact that she’s having the exact same experience? She is also seeing you stare of steal gazes and most likely wonders why. It has become eye-tag at this point.

[Prin97]

Yes I did say those things, but she has seemed to want to be closer and closer each and every time I see her and speak with her.

Before I got speaking with her I stupidly collided with her, nothing major just a little tap, I immediately apologised but later on I thought I was an absolute idiot so I went and bought her a card and write down. My apologies on the card.
I gave her the card and she was very happy and said that she would take it home and open it and read it since that moment four months ago she moved from one side of the building to sit directly behind me, that is moving 40 yards away to literally 20 cm behind me.
That is now her regular seat.
She showers praise upon me for this that and the other when we speak, and when I am talking to other people of the other side of the room, she spends a lot of time looking at me.
Before the card I had never met this woman in my life.
Call me daft, each time I am with this woman she is getting more and more intimate with me in conversation and body language.

[HollyK21]

Okay, thanks for providing examples. In my opinion, flirtatious behavior is in things like compliments, “you look really handsome today” “did you get your hair cut? I like it”, etc etc. Along with actual intimacy such as excess touching.

When you say that she moved across the room to sit with you, the timeline of that was not random. It followed you going out of your way to apologize and being very kind with her. How many other friends has she made there? How many other people has she been drawn to? Sometimes all it takes is a coworker showing kindness to start forming a connection with them.

You also did not address my mention of her having the exact same experience as you when it comes to catching you staring or looking at her a lot.

Of course I could be wrong, I’m not here on a path of rightness or to disprove you — this is your experience and you’re entitled to perceiving it however you want. Im just being genuinely honest here and no matter how much emphasis you put on these minor things she’s done, I just don’t see the crazy attraction and heavy flirtation that you insist is going on.

[HollyK21]

This is just an open conversation, giving you another perspective to consider other than only your own. I’m not purposely trying to disagree whatsoever.

[seeyounexttuesday]

she's not flirting, lol.

[Prin97]

This particular woman has been flirting with me for four months, she was doing it to the max last Sunday, she gets married this Saturday.

[seeyounexttuesday]

Sure bud.