What is an underrated green flag in a guy? Are there any specific things you are attracted to?

[Anonymous]

As I’m getting older, I’m starting to find things I once took for granted becoming more attractive. For example men with emotional maturity, accountability/ willing to admit fault and committed to truly getting to know me as an individual and be a partner are so attractive to me now. Of course everyone has preferences in terms of physical attributes, but even if physically I find him average, these qualities make me feel more attracted.
Also, men with a good voice are such a turn on! I once had a crush on a colleague, who I had seen occasionally but never talked to, but once I heard his voice, I was so attracted to him. Sucks that he was married though.
Do other women also find voice that attractive?

[TheDraconianJester]

Definitely emotional vulnerability and maturity, and if he is capable of truly feeling empathy. When a man actively avoids stepping on an insect on a sidewalk during our walk, not because he's grossed out, but because he values even the tiniest of lives, I immediately find him 1000x hotter.

Also, a man who isn't scared or threatened to be "less manly", deemed by societal standards. If he isn't scared to carry your bag for you (but instead swing it over his shoulder and goofily struts like a model), or wants to feel bonita, wanting you to paint his nails in his and your favorite colors. Just things that some men might make a huge deal out of because it threatens their masculinity.

Lastly, a man who is open-minded enough to see different perspectives of an argument. It's difficult to find people in general who would actually listen and try to understand multiple perspectives; it's nearly impossible when it's a man.
So when there is a man whose flag is greener than the Amazon rainforest, has a hot (either deep or pleasantly nasally voice in my opinion) voice, and if he's a passionate nerd who loves his partner like they're a deity he's devoted to in a healthy way... I'd say being attracted to that man would be an understatement LOL. But ofc I'm mostly attracted to one's true character than everything else.
If he's super hot, has a sexy voice, and is a nerd, but has a mindset and personality that is so bad that he can be considered the embodiment of evil, I'd rather hold my breath and excuse myself into another building rather than breathe the same air as him.

[Asker]

Hahaha Oh my god, I absolutely loved your answer! I feel the exact same way…it’s the little things that show their character that makes them so hot, like you described and a man who has secure masculinity so he doesn’t feel threatened by others assumptions of him or doing seemingly girly stuff ( like carrying her bag and the goofy strut lol)

[Nikki1989]

Emotional maturity is a big one because it is so rare in most men. Especially men under the age of 40.

[Summeroflove]

Low body count… And low body count BY CHOICE…. Say he’s a very attractive man who gets a lot of female attention. But yet he has a low body count and isn’t sleeping around with everyone.

People talk about women having low body counts. But a woman who willfully has a low body count. Why would she want a man who will cheat on her and just wants sex? Really makes no sense. It says a lot when someone has self control and is genuinely looking for a real relationship despite having the ability to sleep around.

[Asker]

I agree with that perspective. Seems logical and mature especially if you view sex as something meaningful rather than just a good time.

[Summeroflove]

A lot of people don’t see it that way. Some people also used to see it that way but have lost the shame and guilt because they kept doing it.

It’s a empty life… they need the next kink or fetish because they need the next thing to get off… They have different sex partners all the time and can never hold down a relationship.

They are such a sex addict that they literally will just cheat on any legitimate partner they have. Because they need that thrill and rush. Especially of cheating….

[Summeroflove]

It can be a lot of fun for someone at first. But it never ends well. It ends in drama…. Needing the next thrill. New people all the time.

Never satisfied. Never happy in a relationship. Little self control.

[Asker]

Very true, I follow the same principles myself and believe in saving it for a long term relationship or marriage

[Summeroflove]

Exactly now at the same time I can understand nobody’s perfect. But there is a difference in sleeping with a few people and regretting it walking away from that.

And people who just double down and keep doing it. But then all the sudden they don’t like being accountable for it and they want to erase it

[Summeroflove]

But yes. It’s reasonable if someone’s a virgin or has a very low body count. To want someone else whose the same.

It’s not reasonable to demand someone with a low to no body count. While having a high one themselves

[Asker]

I agree, no one appreciates a double standard. You can still choose either way to have a partner with a high or low body count, but to demand it unless you have yourself been a virgin or someone with a low body count is hypocritical. Also, there is some truth in someone’s past patterns as well, they may not be satisfied in a monogamous relationship for life.

[Summeroflove]

I AGREE! I mean people can have any standards they want. But they are just as entitled to someone else as someone else is entitled to them…. Which is not entitled at all.

But what is sad when people lie about who they are and then cheat on someone. That’s shitty.

[Summeroflove]

Part patterns many times yes absolutely. Am I saying people can’t change? No. But they have to genuinely WANT to change and abstain from their former practices.

9/10 people want their cake and eat it too. They want a loving relationship but they also wanna sleep around. They need that next thrill and excitement which again is sad for a loyal partner

[DishLady]

"As I get older" got a chuckle out of me... thanks kid.

Yeah, I mean there are so many green flags in a guy that should be celebrated but are always shot down.

MANNERS... find the guy who can put the "man" in manners and you're solid gold. I love the guy who will stand up to greet you when you walk in or hold the door for you or whatnot. But you know, some refrain from all that because they're conditioned now to think they'll get yelled at by some idiot femenazi for using the good manners they were raised with. (SIIIIGH.)

Next, not that I like a "bad boy" but give me a guy with a stubborn streak to match mine. Those guys are fun to be around even though a tad frustrating from time to time if we both get our backs up about something.

[Asker]

😅glad you found it funny and I agree good manners are definitely attractive

[SueShe]

I am not at all attracted towards external attributes such as looks, appearance, 6 packs and the like and a voice will not do anything for me because a voice, hair, height or eyes say strictly nothing about the character of a person.

If I were to be attracted to a person, then it would solely be to that person's character, intellect and personality. Those are the sole assets that would want me to start talking with a man. Other than that, I don't have any green flags that would motivate me to initiate contact.

In my age group, men tend to approach women for the one single thing and that thing does not interest me the least.

[zagor]

A voice can be very attractive, even a disembodied one; when I rented a BMW in Europe I set the language for directional assist to French even though I couldn't understand it because the voice was so hot.

[Asker]

Hope you got where you needed to though 😂

[zagor]

Fortunately I have a great sense of direction and can memorize maps.

[Anonymous]

I would only ever date or pursue a girl if I thought she was the one. Unfortunately, I'm really picky, and one girl has made all the others look terrible in comparison.

[Asker]

If you like her so much, then why don’t you ask her out? Maybe she feels the same way.

[Opinion Owner]

I tried, but I waited to long. My only chance is if she changes her mind.

[Asker]

I don't know who you are but I think you might be mistaking me for someone else. If you are who I think you are, just send me a dm and we can work it out.

[Asker]

Look, for whatever reason if that girl has not made it clear that she likes you too and doesn’t want to talk to you then it’s better to move on. Despite the feelings, you will find someone better suited for you eventually

[Opinion Owner]

I doubt you're the person I'm thinking about, unless your name starts with a L. Her behavior makes it seem like she is interested in me, and my feelings refuse to die. I'm not that worried about finding somebody else. Despite my own personal failures, I know I'm attactive enough to find somebody who values me.

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆