He said he likes my personality more than my looks. Is this a backhanded compliment?

[Anonymous]

He’s complimented my looks, but I found it to be a bit insensitive to say that he likes my personal more than my looks. I would prefer somebody like both equally and that I’m the perfect package. This made me feel that my looks were just OK, even though he is complementing me calling me, hot and beautiful. Maybe he is lying in that one sentence proved what I thought all along. I don’t have great body image to begin with. I’m super sensitive and maybe the way I’m perceiving the “compliment “ is through the glasses of my trauma… I take it harshly.

[HollyK21]

I can’t speak for him but the comment sounds like he was trying to say the right thing and just did a bad job at it. It’s more often than not that women will say they want a man who sees more in them than just looks. It’s too often that men are shallow, prioritizing looks and features over genuine connections, you know that. So maybe his comment was meant to basically say that your personality matters more than your looks. However, none of us can speak for him, so I don’t think our opinions will ease your insecurities.

[Hardon-Collider]

He's not lying. He's just being more perceptive than you are. He's seeing past the temporary physical vessel to the actual, eternal you. Your body is just a costume, a temporary set of clothes. It changes and decays. The real you, the part that is you for all of eternity, is your personality, your soul, your inner being. He's not saying your looks are 'just OK'; he's saying he's so impressed by the person you are on the inside that he has elevated your physical appearance in his eyes. He's seeing the real you, not just the temporary costume you're wearing.

[HawkPerception]

Personally, I need my partner to be physically attracted to me and love my personality as well. It would hurt if they said that they're more attracted to my personality than my looks and I would assume they're not really that physically attracted to me.

[Nikki1989]

When someone tells you they like your personality more than your looks, they might be trying to say something very sincere and meaningful. On the other hand, it could feel like a backhanded compliment, which is praise that contains a hidden insult.

Without knowing the man, I would only be guessing.

[Zack-Bann]

I saw somewhere that it’s shallow to like looks and more altruistic to like personality
So he’s saying that to make you happy


He miscalculated a little and forgot you’re a woman which is means nothing he says will ever make you happy


And the answer is to let actions speak more than words

[Vevv123]

I feel like it probably is. But look at the bright side, at least you probably won't attract shallow men that eventually end up being lustful men in disguise.

[Asker]

He was liking a models photos and said she was a beautiful angel or something like that. I thought he was going to be more reassuring and this was just super rude. Just shows me that he’s gonna like other people more for how they look but what I have actually matters

[Vevv123]

These kinds of comments and likes to a stranger give me creep vibes. Who knows what other people he comments on. This should be enough to make you unlike him and I feel like it's self explanatory. Please do yourself a favor and move on, let this man find his "beautiful angel" he so desperately wants, or else you are basically settling for someone that doesn't even like you.

[Asker]

She bleaches her skin and uses contacts when I have that naturally

[Vevv123]

Comparison is the thief of joy. Every person is beautiful in their own way. Also, I really think he’s a red flag and you’re better off finding someone that’s likes you just the way you are.

[Anonymous]

Who you are is more important than what you look like. If he wants to be with you, I'm sure he finds you very attractive.

[Anonymous]

He's just trying to say that he likes you for more than just your looks. Why do women always look for something to get upset over?