When are men/women going to realize that marriage material partners are boring?

[Anonymous]

The people looking for serious relationships aren’t clubbing, gaming, or chasing dopamine. The ones who are more serious are more boring reading books, studying, building careers, saving money, planning for the future, and prioritizing stability over constant excitement. If you’re one of the ones constantly complaining about not finding anyone it’s good to be realistic and understand that their partner is also not a social media model or someone that isn’t even a good quality partner.

Stop saying high value women and men don’t exist. We do exist except we are either ignored because we’re not an ethnical fetish who’s very pretty or handsome or we don’t go out and expose ourselves like your favorite social media models.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Men and women have different opinions when it comes to marriage, and the ones that are marriage quality are a minority nowadays because of how the world have been influenced, many people nowadays believe they can mess around and eventually marry which may be the case but are surprised when it falls apart because they have a twisted idea of what marriage is suppose to be and a big misconception about marriage is that it always has to be pure happiness for it to be a valid and compatible marriage when that isn't the case at all, marriage is a vow done with God as the witness that through better or worse, that these two individuals will get through it all together, which a very big majority of people nowadays don't have the ability or the guts to do, if someone says you are boring for having a respectful and mature lifestyle, please get away from those people as fast as possible because they are a plague, marriage might have its benefits and its pros but it's not suppose to be "fun" it is a promise to God that this person is the one that you'll become one with and that death will be the temporary and the only form of separation, anyone that tries to go around the idea of God being the witness of their marriage are doing it wrong and when your marriage isn't the way God wants it, you get failure and deteriation and a imbalanced foundational structure.

[Asker]

It’s not just about people messing around either, a big problem today is how unrealistic men and women can be. You’ll see women that are out clubbing every weekend, don’t even know the basics like how to cook or manage a home, but expect a man to pay all the bills while they bring nothing to the table. Then on the flip side, there’s men who say they want a “high value woman” that’s loyal, not in the clubs, and ready to be a good wife, yet they don’t have anything to offer themselves. They can’t lead, can’t provide, spend all their free time with their friends or wasting time instead of building a future.

At the end of the day, marriage isn’t about chasing some fantasy, it’s about responsibility, sacrifice, and actually being someone of value. If you’re not working on yourself, you can’t expect to attract or keep the kind of partner you say you want.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Even tho those things play a role in marriages, that's only scratching the surface of what's wrong with the society built version of marriage, value can be subjective nowadays and what you consider value might be not important to others, which is why I focused on the true core of failed marriages and that is a marriage that isn't approved by God.

[Asker]

That’s true, without God at the center a marriage will always be on shaky ground no matter how much “value” either side claims to bring. But at the same time, the reason I brought up those examples is because they show how society’s version of marriage is twisted from both ends. People chase unrealistic expectations, like women who think just existing is enough to deserve a man to provide everything, or men who expect a loyal, high-value wife while they spend their time partying or avoiding responsibilities.

So yes, God is the foundation, without him it will fail. But people also need to be honest with themselves. Someone might follow God and still fall short, once in a relationship and they decide to cheat, then ask for forgiveness, but many simply blame the devil and act like everything’s instantly fixed, when in reality their actions show whether they have true discipline or not, and these disciplines are what people should live by.

The easy path, like clubbing, and chasing comfort, reveals weakness. The harder path, like working, sacrificing, and consistently doing what’s difficult, reveals real strength.

Because in the end, if you’re not living as a person of value in God’s eyes, you can’t expect him to bless your marriage with the very things you refuse to build within yourself.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Well that's definitely true, you have to behave and act like a person of God not just claim it and that means that in order to have a successful marriage you have to follow the guidance God gives for the marriage.

[contentious]

There are plenty of people who are serious about wanting relationships that have every sort of interest out there, they just have different relationship goals. That said, different people think different activities are boring or interesting. Going clubbing is boring to me, but apparently you find it exciting. Thus why we are incompatible. You have to get in were you fit in and find a compatible partner. It's possible to have all sorts of desirable qualities and not be interested in the things you claim are exciting...

[Asker]

I don’t find clubbing exciting.

[contentious]

So then why say it? Different people have different interests.

[Anonymous]

Who died and made you spokesperson of where someone will or won’t find a good partner?


You can most definitely meet someone who’s marriage material in places that you personally deem unconventional. How the hell would you meet someone when you’re at home reading or studying?


You may very well meet your match while out building work related connections or even just out with friends. There’s no need to shit on people who go out and have lives.

[Asker]

Triggered?

[Opinion Owner]

Am I triggered or do you just have nothing of value to respond with?

[Asker]

Our marriage material is not the same, I can’t argue with that. If you go clubbing then it only makes sense to find someone that also goes clubbing.

[Opinion Owner]

That logic is very biased because not everyone you encounter on a single night out lives that sort of lifestyle regularly. If you’ve never gone to the bar or club in your life to appease your friend then cool, but it happens. Same goes for someone who hasn’t had a night out in months, I know I don’t party but more recently had a friend who wanted to check out this club that has finally reopened since Covid and wanted to see what changed. You don’t know what the circumstances of someone being out the night that you met them is, but immediately equate it being a party animal or something and not marriage material.

[Opinion Owner]

**immediately equating it to being a party animal or something and not marriage material is biased.

[Asker]

I can see what you’re saying. I think I should have been a little more specific. I mainly wanted to aim this question at people who complain about not finding a marriage material wife or husband yet they are the ones looking at the wrong things. For example I come across people upset that all women party, which is fine, but if they don’t want a women that parties than they should also not party. But if partying is something both can relate to and enjoy than that’s marriage material for both of them.

[Opinion Owner]

agree, you should find someone who matches your own pace and if they don’t then they aren’t the one. But at the same time I’d have to ask why in your book does going out and having a social life disqualify someone from being marriage material? Obviously there are people who do way too much and I’d never take away from that, but they don’t all speak for those who are out and have entirely different backgrounds, which you’d never know about at a surface level and just assume their life is about partying. So does going out regularly equate to being unserious or not goal oriented? Because I’ve definitely seen someone with their books out studying at the bar, or having a weekend or two at the club but still in school, still getting up for a full shift the next day, still goal oriented? Same as I’ve seen complete hermits who stay in and read, watch movies, save money, but are single and have been single for who knows how long. What methods other than a dating app (Facebook, Tinder, bumble, etc) or “friend of a friend” would you suggest to those homebody’s in find a boyfriend/girlfriend?

[avery58]

Who said nightclubs were the only fun thing to do? Personally, they seem like overrated brainrot to me. Not everyone likes the same thing and that doesn't mean they're boring.

There are many other fun activities such as bowling, gym, or hiking. I think having goals and priorities is good but it's also important to make some free time for other activities, which help de-stress.

[ohsheeT]

Relationships. Are what
two people make them
No matter what kind it is..

It takes two people t o have a relationship. It takes one to make it boring

Even a LDR on line are not boring
I dont ever think I've ever felt bored in a relationship

[Zack-Bann]

The more important question is:
When are you going to realize just how wrong you are about literally everything you just said? :)


I don’t mean that as an insult


But marriage material people are NOT boring
If you’re boring you’re worthless
Life is too boring as it is


You can build a future and strong foundation for family while still taking the time to enjoy your time


If you’re sitting head buried into your work never stopping to smell the roses you will never find a true loving partner
That stuff doesn’t grow on trees
You don’t find it in your morning coffee

[BonzoInBitburg]

Boring people are not marriage material. Interesting people are marriage material. You can be a responsible and respected adult without being boring. Nobody likes boring

[Asker]

Responsible and respected adult is boring to people.

[jahaims]

That isn't how real life works