I ruined my girlfriends, best friends love triangle on accident?

[Anonymous]

I was recently on a double date with my girlfriend of 6 months and her best friend. Her best friend decided to bring a guy around that we hadn’t seen in months while he was over seas. all the while she was dating around to see what she wanted. I was left alone with this guy and asked who he had been seeing, if anyone. Both girls never told me that while he was overseas he thought they were boyfriend and girlfriend. I mentioned she had a friend that I had seen once, wasn’t sure what he meant to her, anything like that. The conversation got very awkward and now I’m the bad guy because later they got into an argument about the guy she was seeing while he was overseas. My girlfriend of 6 months is defending her best friend of 20+ years and I’m stuck trying to figure out how a normal conversation turned into a mess. I feel like I wasn’t communicated with properly to avoid this, and they feel it was none of my business in the first place. Please help.

[AvaRay]

It sounds like u were caught in a situation that wasn’t truly yours to control..

Sometimes, misunderstandings happen not because of bad intentions, but cause communication wasn’t clear from the start..

U spoke honestly about what u observed, n that alone doesn’t make u the bad guy..

The key takeaway? well boundaries n transparency matter

U can only be responsible for your own words n actions, not how others choose to interpret them or react tho..

Life n relationships r not about assigning blame for every awkward moment..

They r about navigating honesty, clarity, n respect, even when others around u get tangled in confusion..

[Nikki1989]

This is a textbook example of how a lack of communication can make an innocent person the accidental center of drama. You are likely the scapegoat.

[Asker]

Really started to feel that way, I’m just going to apologize for the hurt feelings and try to stay as far away from that friend as much as possible. Seems like the only way to move forward with my girlfriend who I truly believed to be a better person than that.

[jahaims]

Drop that whole group. They are okay with trashy behavior. by the way if your girl defends that behavior then she cheats on you.

[Staximus]

They are stupid and your girlfriend's friend is shady. The hell with it, don't even worry about it.

[Asker]

I can’t have that attitude or I’m the asshole lol. I have to care that I broke her trust and feelings even though I didn’t know I was or meaning to. I agree, it is stupid.

[Staximus]

Well you didn't know about this stupid situation and were out in the middle of it by them. You're not at fault here so do not accept people treating you like you are. Be a man and stand up for yourself. This is their bullshit problem, not yours.

[FateofOphelia]

You didn't do anything intentionally, don't feel bad.

[Asker]

Yeah, just now I feel like I don’t want to be around her best friend because I’m getting called names because I ruined her “relationship” that was never really a relationship with either guy she was talking to.

[FateofOphelia]

I understand, just apologise and leave it

[Asker]

Thank you.

[Abbycado]

What’s the question? What to do?

[Asker]

I’m feeling like if she can’t defend me as her boyfriend making a non intentional mistake, that I don’t really need to be in the drama / relationship.

[Asker]

What do you think?

[Abbycado]

I wouldn’t deal with it. Like how were you supposed to know?

[Asker]

Thank you. Exactly..

[Abbycado]

Also, she should be upfront with people she sees that she is dating around instead of being shady about it.

Thoughts @HollyK21?

[Asker]

Yeah, in the words of my girlfriend, the way she lives her life is none of my business.. I’ve been very traditional my entire life.

[Abbycado]

Then she should expect the pay the price when people find out. That’s a her problem.

[Asker]

I told my girlfriend about the encounter at the end of the night and she brushed it off, since her friend blew up on her calling me names, now I have to apologize.

[HollyK21]

I get that they’ve been friends a long time but in my opinion it becomes quite problematic when she’s defending her friend through absolutely everything. In this instance you didn’t know and weren’t trying to do anything malicious, so your girlfriend should be having your back. The fact that she isn’t would definitely make me reconsider the relationship. Like it isn’t you fault her friend was being messy.

[Abbycado]

Don’t. You have nothing to apologize for. Don’t sacrifice your honesty for this girls dishonesty and quite frankly, deceit to the guys she’s shopping as a boyfriend. Not your problem.

[Abbycado]

What Holls said too.

[Asker]

Thank you so much! I was just trying to make conversation.😫

[Abbycado]

I mean, you can say sorry there was a misunderstanding, but don’t apologize for what you said. You didn’t know and not your fault.

[HollyK21]

I agree with Abby, if you want you can apologize to the friend if you haven’t already but at the end of the day I think she’s just going to be upset no matter what.

[Abbycado]

@HollyK21 yep and likely that she was caught doing something she knew she shouldn’t have been doing.

[HollyK21]

I agree, it’s really her own fault Abby. Like I don't know what sort of conversations her and the guy were having but for him to have thought they were a couple means she was giving him that impression. Why feed into that when she knew she was unsure about him and wanted to explore her options? She should’ve been honest with him so then he could decide if he wanted to deal with a woman who wasn’t as sure about him as he was about her. She selfishly took that option from him and most likely because she’s one of those women who wants to have her cake and eat it too. In my opinion this was a blessing in disguise for the guy, and karma for her.

[Asker]

Yeah, sad part is I really do feel bad for the guy, and I still feel like I would have rather known.. even if it wasn’t my place to tell.

[FunkyMonkee]

Is accident some new social media?

[Anonymous]

I see, so what's the question?

[Asker]

If I should have to apologize and tuck tail because I made them mad

[Opinion Owner]

Well, it's always nice to apologize.