Am I wrong for having my best friends’ back in this situation? please read below?

[Finchie40]

My best friend just got out of a toxic relationship a few months ago , He met another girl a few weeks after his break up at a bar here in the USA , This girl is from Costa Rica and she is rushing things with my friend, they only been seeing each other for 2 weeks and she is already talking about marriage with him, I told him to run the other way because she is more than likely seeking a Green card, and told him his head isn’t thinking clearly because he just got out of a toxic relationship, I said it’s not normal for a girl to want to be married that fast , His new girlfriend doesn’t like me because of the questions I asked her about wanting to be married so soon? My friend is oblivious to this because she is screwing him every day. I told him to not allow the Power of the Hoof to take the better of him. Just last night he came over to hang out and he told me I need to apologize to his girlfriend. Because she doesn’t want him hanging out with me anymore , I laughed and said Dude , dump this bitch , she is clearly using you for a Green card , she also has kids’ still living in Costa Rics, I said what Mom leaves her children behind? She is clearly looking for a Greencard , don’t be dumb. He then said he has to go and left. Was I wrong? I am just looking out for his benefit , I know it’s not my life and relationship but come on , this is some shady shit , Do you agree?

[sage2021]

I think he is thinking with his little head, if you know what I mean.😏

Lord knows what she's telling him and promising him. Just in 2 weeks and she has him wrapped around her little finger. Hummm! 🤔

You were right in telling him that all she wants is a green card. She's leaving her children for this guy? Nice mom! NOT!! 👎

She sure knows how to work the system and so do a lot of women from all over the world.🌎

They should have a name for these women who just want a green card. They probably do, but I just don't know know what they're called.

She's an abusive woman my friend. One sign of an abusive person is they want you to be isolated from people. They don't want you to be around anyone but them. By her telling him she wants him to end his friendship with you is a sure tell sign of abuse in that situation.

Let your friend go!! He has his head stuck up his butt right now and you can't get him to listen to your advice. He's a sap for falling for this type of woman. But all you can do as his friend is let him find out for himself and just be there for him when it all falls apart. That is if she doesn't have anything sinister planned for him once she gets that green card in her paws.

Maybe you should keep a close eye on your friend. You don't know what kind of people she knows and they might have a plan to get rid of him permanently! Don't laugh. This happens more than we know about.
He might go missing -

[SuperZonicGUY1992]

No this dude is a racist maga and hates all Brown people!

[Finchie40]

LOL what makes you think that? That has nothing to do with it at all , my friend is just blind to all of this because he is possessed by the power of the hoof , once she gets her way with him , he is doomed , why I am trying to wake him up

[Crimsyjo]

You sound totally right in your perception but the thing is your froend is getting all kinda of dopamine/oxytocin pleasure hits from this woman and thos is gonna distract and take away the hurt over his toxic relationship so right now he can't hear thos stuff. That doesn't mean don't have his back but you have go about it differently cos being so Head on is, as you are discovering, driving him closer to her and giving her ammo to use that against you. I would try to be there as his froend and NOT say this stuff in the way your saying it. Do not villianise her to him. That won't work. Your pushing him away. You need to just work on advising him not to marry (use other reasons not her) and watch as if she is fake like you suspect she won't like waiting but waiting is exactly the right course of action. If they are "genuine " and "in love" then she won't mind waiting. He will see her true colours soon enough. And it's better your around than not around when that happens.

[Finchie40]

Yea I backed off and realized that’s his life and choice and if that’s the direction he wants to go , so be it , I will always be there for him no matter what , I just hate seeing him blind sided to this shit. , but I don’t want to lose my friendship with him , so I come to conclusion just to pull her aside and apologize and tell her I was wrong to assume things , I was just looking out for my buddy but he is happy with you , so that’s all that matters , Please forgive me , that’s all I can do considering he is still going to see her no matter what I say

[Crimsyjo]

Yes perfect. Hold your tongue when you can. Let him discover on his own.. you can't give her power to make him get rid of you. And if your doing nothing wrong against her and she still nags him to end your friendship maybe that will start to grate on him. The honeymoon period as you know dies eventually run it's course and then they will see if it stands the test. And we'll at least he's getting lots of sex in the meantime before it potentially ends lol

[Purpleronnie]

I don’t think you were wrong but I think you could have been a little more sensitive. Your description suggests you were more than a little heavy handed , or at least that’s how it reads to me


So my only advice would have been to state your case / opinion calmly but reassure him that you got his back and you’re only trying to look out for him.

Essentially you have done the right thing in warning him over what her motive could be but the point wasn’t to alienate him but bring him in close.

[msc545]

You are probably right about her motives, but you are not considering what men will do to keep getting laid - and that is considerable. There will be no reasoning with your friend as long as she is fucking him - try to be understanding of this and don't let it ruin your friendship, which will be around long after she is gone.

[Flowersareawsome22]

Oh no this does not sound good. You're friend needs a reality check. Your gut feeling is telling something is off about this woman and you feel bad vibes when your around this woman please listen to your instincts turns out you are right. He found her in a bar well what a shocker that explains the horrible person she is. Now if she was at a church I wouldn't be so worried. But a woman who lives her children behind in a different country is selfish and narcissistic behavior. She's talking about marriage but how come she's not talking about cooking for your friend and doing his laundry. Does she even show up with fresh home cooked meals? Because when I am interested in a guy I make him brownies. I ask what his favorite food is so that I can buy the ingredients and cook for him. He needsnto cut this woman off she's just looking for a benefit. Instresting for a Hispanic woman she should cooked for him or clean his place. But marriage weird I would expect her talking about what dinner to cook for him.

[Greek_goddess_Iris]

I can not go that long without my child.

Tell him, you are not against marriage, but he is still in recovery phase. He needs to date her a year or two and if they are still happy in love they can get married.

If she or he throws a fit about it, just say something like, what's the difference. Being together... Together is together. You don't need a contract to proof your love and commitment. Loving each other, commitment and trust is all you need. If it goes well, then get engaged after a year and married at two years. If not, well at least you don't have to go through the pain of divorce again.

And if she starts pressuring him, then she's working with a plan. If she loves him, she'll wait.

[Noredcarpet]

It is a red flag to talk about getting married after having dated for two weeks. They are not children. They should know this. You stated the obvious. You are entitled to your opinion. Nobody can take that away from you. Nobody can make you apologize or should want to force that out of you. Your friend behaves like a baby. It is up to him if he is interested or not to continue his friendship with you. It should not be up to her. You are his friend, not hers. I fear more drama will show up at your doorstep with these two. I would show distance til he gets his head screwed back on. So yeah my advice would be stay cool, take distance. Let their drama be their drama. He needs to grow up and you can not be his dad, it is not fair on you. I am guessing he told her what you told him and only him when looking out for him and that is not fair. He should keep it to himself.

[Finchie40]

He came over my house last weekend while she was at work , and I talked to him more about it and I apologized to him and said I was just looking out for him , and he said she doesn’t like me now , so she can’t know that he was over my house visiting , I said are you serious? I said Dude you can’t let this girl get in between our friendship we are like brothers’ I said you need to dump this bitch now , she is clearly trying to control you and force you to marry her , he didn’t say a word , I said man do not fall for this nonsense brother , stop thinking with your dick and think with your other head instead , , he got a little upset with me and ended up leaving without really saying anything good bye like he usually does. I played it off like everything was fine and told him I will hit him up this week , I texted him a few times and he didn’t respond back to me right away like he usually does , So I didn’t mention it and just let it go and realized he is digging his own grave with this shit , so since I haven’t really been hearing from him , I saw his Instagram profile and it says he is now married to her , so I texted him this morning and said Are you married? And he didn’t respond back to me , this bitch has him wrapped , when I looked at her profile , she took the picture down of them 2 and just put a picture up of herself , which I thought was odd considering his profile os saying they are married , but hers isn’t and she changed her profile picture. I don’t know if she found out that he was over my house and that’s why she is upset. Him and I and my brother have been trying to start up a brewery together , and if this bitch tried to come in between our brewery , I am literally going to have words with her big time and him as well for being so stupid

[Noredcarpet]

God, he should have been wise enough to realize what you were telling him was out of concern for him and not tell her about it. You have done more than you should in my opinion to try to mend things. None of this is your fault. I think he is 100% to blame. If someone should apologize it is him to you. I have never had this issue with my friends regarding their partners or mine. When a friend has been suspecting my partner is jealous, possessive of me that friend has said what she wanted to say. I would never place my friend in the situation he has placed you. You see how the drama is splashing out to you? Toxic and drama people do this. Out of loyalty I have not told friends of my ex jealousy or currents, but they have a right to think and look out for me and speak up what is right or wrong. I would never take it the wrong way. My ex brought other people into his drama after our break up to use to get to me. I only answered back with silence. I did not like what he was doing. I hope your friend wakes up. I am hoping in time he will when he has had enough of the drama.

[RxR0954]

Tbh just because she’s from Costa Rica doesn’t mean she’s seeking a green card. Some women move fast, some women are impulsive. You also don’t know what kind of visa and job she has in the US. And believe it or not there are moms that leave their kids behind.


Tbh as an immigrant some people who don’t know us well would tell my partner the same thing (“she’s probably just with you to stay here permanently, be careful”) when we mentioned getting married after a year, not knowing i have a BSpsych and a master in counseling with a counseling career and perfectly capable of getting permanent residency myself. Applying for a partner visa would be ridiculous as it’s long and expensive. So yea, you probably should get to know her more and avoid conversations like you mentioned with your friend because that just comes off as ignorant and racist. And might lose a friend.

[Anonymous]

I would tread carefully with that type of conversation tbh. You definitely want to have his back and raise your concerns, but also maybe say it in a nice way/cushion it. If you’re too heavy handed he’ll more than likely pull away since she has her grip on him for lack of better way of saying it. If he is a good friend I would support him no matter what he decides to do. If he marries her and it doesn’t go well I wouldn’t be like “I told you so” even if you might feel that way lol

[SuperZonicGUY1992]

His a racist plain and simple.

[Flower7]

You weren’t wrong but let your friend make the mistake. He is taking her side over yours and allowing himself to be ruled over by sex so he deserves any consequences that he receives.

[SuperZonicGUY1992]

Are you a racist Maga clown?

Bro just admitted you are a racist and hate on the lady because she isn't white!

You hate her because she is hispanic?

So you hate every human who isn't white? The lady probably owns a visa did things the correct way but you hate her because of her skin color.

[AngryCarl2]

You did your best as a friend, but clearly this guy can't be helped. Some people can't avoid toxic relationships, others actively seek them out.

[Cidknee]

I'd have done pretty much the same thing. So I wonder how it'll turn out. Keep us posted, please!

[exitseven]

You are being a good friend. I would do the same thing. Maybe you should call ICE on her and see if she can be deported. Just do not tell him you are the one that did it.

[Staximus]

He's a fucking idiot getting razzle dazzled by that Central American pussy because those girls fuck like rabbits. You're 110% right. What kind of woman leaves her children behind?

[Staximus]

Power of the hoof? haha

[Flowersareawsome22]

You are right he needs to be careful these crazy central American woman married just for the visa. If he likes Hispanic woman I recommend a one Chicano woman.

[SuperZonicGUY1992]

@Flowersareawsome22 SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID RACIST BITCH!

WHAT CENTRAL American EVER DONE TO YOU. LISTEN TO ME BITCH I AM DATING A BEAUTIFUL COLOMBIAN LATINA AND SHE IS WAY MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU'RE IGNORANT RACIST ASS! BITCH!

[Staximus]

@SuperZonicGUY1992 you're an ignorant snowflake. I live in California, I'm part Mexican and half my friends are Mexican Americans or real Mexicans.

[Staximus]

@SuperZonicGUY1992 super snowflake bitch boy

[Flowersareawsome22]

@SuperZonicGUY1992 Grow up you are sounding like an immature 13 year old. Only teenagers used profanity as a form of insults. I am not racist I have a few Mexican friends and my sister in law is Mexican. I am not surprised at all you are just acting like a typical millennial momma's boy. Please live my friend alone he is way more intelligent than you clearly. You clearly didn't like my friends opinion so for some weird odd reason you decide to use insults instead of disagree in a respectful way line an adult would. Now just live my friend alone or I will report you to gag administration.

[Flowersareawsome22]

Staximus Are you alright Gag best friend?

[robocop666]

ask him a question that makes him think of the answer? you are a smart man

[Xawyx-2]

Of course, you should always support your friend.

[Alex-Snow]

I think she is using him

[RedInnocent69]

Never