Deep connection or love bombing?

[Anonymous]

How can you tell if you're being love-bombed by a guy vs just hitting it off straight away with finding a lot deeply in common?

[Summeroflove]

Be cautious there are ways to know such as long term. Someone can’t hide themselves or true intentions forever. Does the facade fade?

Some people can pretend to be anything they think you want them to be. If they’re being disingenuous they may just simply agree with anything you say. But hear from another person they said the opposite… If someone’s really seeing something they want out of you. They may all the sudden become religious because you are or be really religious and all the sudden loose it or downplay it. Same with politics. Same with really anything.

Someone being genuine will probably have disagreements. If you like peanut pecan ice cream and all the sudden that’s his favorite ice cream… That’s suspicious. Does he really have all the same long term dreams? All the same religious views? And political views?

Others have said simping. Well…. This can be true. Maybe he is a genuinely good person. But you’ll notice if he stops doing things over time or isn’t putting as much effort into the relationship until eventually you’re doing everything.

[slatyb]

Signs:
- he says that he is in love with you shortly after meeting
- he expends a lot of effort very early in the relationship
- he is immediately talking about marriage

[jazzy34]

In short, love bombing is too much too soon while a deep connection is slow and steady. In other words, love bombing (which is a form of manipulation, if you don’t know) is all about instant gratification while a real love connection develops and grows overtime organically.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

I think you will just feel it in your gut that it's a deep and real connection. Hard to explain.

[beenherebefore]

Love bombing is basically simping. Doing too much in the early stages of dating. If you feel cringed out nd that his actions are a bit too much then he's probably love bombing you.

[Summeroflove]

Yeah there is a difference between serious interest and someone just playing someone. It just depends.

I notice it as well in someone changing their beliefs for someone… Such as if someone’s not really super religious but now they’re going to church all the time because they met someone who is or vice versa.

All the sudden they may have been a liberal but act conservative now or vice versa.

Those are signs. Even just they somehow like the same exact foods and hobbies you are into…. And it’s like… word for word. Everything. That’s suspicious.

[beenherebefore]

@Summeroflove I mean it's okay to change your opinions after meeting someone but changing your whole personality, hobbies and habits that's a huge red flag. The thing with love bombing is that people often don't see it as a red flag until the love bombing stops one day suddenly and unexpectedly.

[Summeroflove]

It depends on the extreme. Changing your options for someone else shows that you’re not being genuine or authentic. It depends on what opinions… and how it’s been changed.

Such as… people may think they want one thing out of a relationship meet someone and realize that… well they are happier that way.

But that’s different then pretending to be who someone wants you to be

[Summeroflove]

That’s it too… if a man or woman is being too nice to you it can be love bombing especially in situations where finances are a issue or someone’s just wanting to get married to be married…. Not out of genuine love or interest.

So theh will do and say things to someone. Especially if they know someone doesn’t get it often. They aren’t like other guys or girls…. They change their personality.

That is serious deception and a facade.

[Summeroflove]

And you’re right…. One day it stops or many times it gradually stops. It’s like…. How people slowly change they get older but you never notice it because you’re around them all the time.

Eventually it’s to a point where you’re doing everything in the relationship…. You’re basically wiping their ass. You’re putting all the emotional, physical, mental, financial, etc etc labor into a relationship until you’re completely exhausted and drained.

Meanwhile nothing is ever good enough look after all I’ve done for you. The guilt tripping…. The sympathy.

Such as…. If a woman’s a nurturing good woman that can be used to make her feel sorry for him. Make her think that she can change him for the better and if she just loves him enough if she’s a better wife or partner that thingd will get better.

The version for a man is… She makes him feel sorry for her. Makes him feel like he can save her from herself and rescue her. Manipulate him if he’s a protector and provider doing all the things so she can be lazy basically he feels sorry for her and buys her excuses.

Again putting all the labor into the relationship mentally, emotionally, financially, etc. Until he’s completely exhausted and rained

[Summeroflove]

*drained.

Dark personalities are dark…. They feed off someone whose good’s energy. Until you’re completely drained and sucked dry. Then they leave for their next victim. They’re like literal vampires.

It feels powerful to them… to be able to manipulate someone. And they feel like… if you’re too stupid to catch on to their tactics YOU deserve it. They don’t feel sorry.

Except… when the time comes that someone stands up for themselves… this is another story. They get very angry loosing control and feel ENTITLED to it. They feel entitled to control another human being.

[Summeroflove]

A LOT of them become stalkers if you just cut them off and go cold to move on and let yourself heal. They will become obsessed… provoke you. Then make you looonxrazy.

[gottogames313gotag]

if he listen to u genuinly than he loves u , like if u ask him to delete something like a dating app and he does it thats a sign of love for you , but u should be truthful too to maximize the love

[gottogames313gotag]

i mean its a sign of his love*

[Anonymous]

If he has a deep connection, I would assume those feelings would persist over time. It might take time to make sure he isn't "love bombing" you. Consistency and evidence should make that more clear.