Attachment vs love?

[motheryoudliketobang]

I am a person who seems to get attached to people & sometimes confuse this feeling with love. I may like the idea of a person or specific moments/memories but when I’m around them it’s no spark but when I’m away I’m obsessed. seems to happen a lot & with different people will this ever change? How unhealthy are attachment issues?

[Xtendable]

Its quite common, and leaves you with a ‘what the hell amI doing with this person’ when you’re around them and every thing grates on you, and nothing flows. Part of it could be you relying on them to compensate for things, and when they don’t, it’s disappointing

[motheryoudliketobang]

Yes I feel very unloved with my boyfriend but he literally loves me to death & ik it’s not him it’s me but I don't know how to change it maybe I should just adapt to it

[Xtendable]

Can you adapt to it? I think thats the key though. You adapting to it would mean you accept and take responsibility for your happiness. Its not up to him to complete you. You’ll then be happier regardless of him being with you or not

[motheryoudliketobang]

It’s more like an unbothered unphased feeling than happiness but yes I see what your saying being content is key

[Xtendable]

Exactly

[SmokyOne]

I have the same issue and it's been terrible for relationships... I believe mine stems from being adopted. Still trying to figure it out myself though..

[motheryoudliketobang]

My dad has very obsessive behavior so I believe I get it from him.

[SmokyOne]

My biological mom is the same also.
Never really considered biological factors.. something to think on

[SmokyOne]

Thank you for asking this by the way

[motheryoudliketobang]

Yeah maybe we should see a therapist but life is short enjoy it & embrace the unknown 😁we’re all fucked up in our own ways & having knowledge of your “problems” is the first and biggest step of change if that’s something your interested in doing

[SmokyOne]

Nah no therapist for me, my cat is the best listener there ever was and I can self medicate on my own lol

I think the only part I'd like to change is when confusing love with attachment gets the other person confused and heartbroken wondering why you just became cold after pursuing so intensely

[loveslongnails]

You're 21 ---- practically everything you know or thing you know, will change. :)

[Bklynbadboy12]

Nope you won't change but having an attachment issue isn't necessarily a bad thing especially if you get attached to the right person

[daster4442]

did you have father figure in your life?

[motheryoudliketobang]

Yes but it’s very in & out

[daster4442]

what do you mean in an out?

[motheryoudliketobang]

Back & forth from prison he would be home for a few then end up locked up again

[daster4442]

maybe you need a strong father figure in ur life

[motheryoudliketobang]

I’ve had a stepdad for a few years he’s a great guy but I’m grown now so it’s kinda too late yk

[daster4442]

makes sense

[Guardian45]

Hmmm, we should talk.

[Andres77]

I'm processing...🤔

[motheryoudliketobang]

I thought it was just with my boyfriend but with some friends I’m the same way hanging out sounds so fun then I get around them and they just annoy me & I wanna be alone again

[SignedAutographs]

What?