What to expect dating a 21 year old guy?

[Lalalove11]

I'm 25 so I'm 4 years older. Usually I go for older guys. I want to know what to expect when dating a younger guy? Is it doomed?

[Summeroflove]

I know people get wrapped up in this age thing. No it’s not doomed you don’t know until you go on a few dates. Just…. Go into it like another date if you feel interested go for another. See if you can get to know him.

People like to obsess over these details and make their entire identity around something like age.

[Alex-Snow]

It is not doomed and it may sound like I'm rooting for the 21 yr old guy just because I'm 20!. But it depends on his maturity, his sense of humor and how well you two get along. The one bonus is that the guy will want a lot of sex and several rounds each time! What are your thoughts?

[Lalalove11]

If he is mature, I'm up for it. I'm only a bit worried cos I'm interested in long term relationships at my age. And probably rare for a guy his age to want that? We are both still living at home. I'm a bit of a late bloomer. I have a high sex drive as well. Could work maybe. So far he has been respectful and polite.
The caveat I haven't mentioned is I'm teaching him piano. I won't date him while I'm teaching him ofc. But the tension is stronger as a result.

[Alex-Snow]

Do you think he is interested in you? Do you think he is new to sex?

[Lalalove11]

Yes well he keeps asking me my plans at the weekend but hasn't asked me out. He blushes and stuff.. tries to make me laugh. Possibly kind of new to sex. Tbh I don't have much experience either. Hard to say how interested he is in me

[Alex-Snow]

Take it slow and see how it goes. Maybe he is a virgin and you could give him more than piano lessons?

[Lalalove11]

Maybe. But the likelihood of him wanting more at 21 seems maybe slim? And yeah anything could happen but I won't date while I'm teaching

[Alex-Snow]

At 21 he probably will not want a long term relationship. I do not want one at this stage in my life just some fun and ofc some fun sex. How much longer are the lessons going to keep going? Maybe after they are done you can ask him out. Afterall it is ok to ask a guy out.

[Lalalove11]

Well he could switch teacher. Cos I think until May which is ages away. But tbh I'm not sure maybe. If he only wants sex maybe not.

[Alex-Snow]

Well you said you have a high libido (welcome to the club) so hopefully you are taking care of that with some solo fun like all guys do (like ur student). I'm sure he would love sex with you but maybe he might want something more permanent?

[Lalalove11]

Yeah I guess I'll take it slow and see what happens. As long as there is open communication so I know where he is at it'll be fine I think. As long as I know what he wants so I don't get too invested. I'm sure he's thought about it

[Alex-Snow]

Good plan... until then take care of ur needs if u know what I mean!

[Nikki1989]

Many men are immature brats until 30 or older and some never snap out of it, so good luck with that.

[Lalalove11]

I've dated a few over 30 and had the same experience. But true :/

[MemeSupreme]

well it depends where you two are in your life

like are either of you in college lol

[Lalalove11]

He's in his third year at college. I'll be returning to college as a mature student. And I'll end up going to his college lol as it turns out. But I'm working atm

[MemeSupreme]

oh then the age thing might not be a big deal unless if one of you has experienced a lot more. doesn't mean its not worth trying tho

how do you feel about it

[Lalalove11]

I feel he seems to be mature for his age he's been quite caring and respectful so far. it'll require clear communication to know if we are on the same page with what we want. So hopefully he can do that. But I've been with guys who are older who weren't able to communicate so maybe he'll surprise me. :)

[Lalalove11]

Him being at college, in third year, is a small bit of a worry if he's big into partying. Worried if at his age he is more career focused whereas at my age im very relationship focused and basically looking for the 'one.' Don't want to waste my time on guys anymore that just want sex I've vowed to myself. I'm 25 and it takes a while to build a proper relationship.

[abc3643]

Not necessarily. He's going to be immature though but you can help him get through that.

My wife is 5.5 years older than me.

[Lalalove11]

So it can work if he's willing to mature a bit

[abc3643]

He won't be willing. Being willing already indicates maturity So, you don't overtly discuss it. (*). You just do it... Show him by example or by working through issues together.

(*) It's smart not to tell people their shortcomings. If he's "willing to work on it" that means he's aware and we either get defensive or shutdown. If there's an issue with maturity, you silently recognize it and work toward improving it. It's like raising a kid.

[Lalalove11]

Okay that makes sense thanks. I had some other guy say his parents won't like me? Or that he'll be embarrassed that I'm older. I thought that seemed a bit extreme. He's already told me about his friends and I met one

[abc3643]

1. He won't be embarrased unless he's really immature.
2. Secretly, he's popping a boner thinking he's got an older woman. At his age, that's like winning the lottery because you, as an older woman and who is dating him, validates his manhood. You are the full adult here (he's new to the game) and your approval of him publicly gives him the sort of esteem with his peers that he can't really get from dating girls his age.

[Lalalove11]

Okay good points. Popping a boner! Haha
I guess I'm a little worried he only wants a fling due to being young but hard to know for sure. Maybe statistically unlikely he wants an LTR.
And I'm sure his parents won't mind.. if they got to know me. He's definitely more mature than most his age

[abc3643]

Your age difference is not that big. Given what you are describing, I think he is not solely interested in playing "hide the salami" with you. He may simply have a crush on you especially if he has no other females in his life of comparable age.

[Lalalove11]

Okay sounds positive we'll see where it goes :)

[slatyb]

It will depend entirely on the guy. Some 21-year-olds are quite mature, others are just 13-year-olds in a bigger body.

[Lalalove11]

It's hard to tell yet but he seems mature. He does party a bit more than me. But he asked if I was going out this weekend I said no. He said he was going to a birthday party but only for two hours?

[Nice222]

For him to have the ability and stamina to have sex several times a day.
those were good times.

[Lalalove11]

So relationship will be sex focused lol

[Nice222]

Could be if you both want. At least for a few years.

[Lalalove11]

I'm fine with that haha but I need to have romance too

[Nice222]

Yes romance is important too. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. It can but both.

[YourExLover69]

Depends on his maturity, personality, behavior. So anything can be expected good or bad both.

[Sam1133]

Great orgasm & sexual satisfaction

[TallAnon]

Oof, you'll be more of a mom than a partner

[Darkest-Knight]

Expect immaturity.