What advice would you give to a male in his early 20s about dating?

Question

CaptainOverthink · Accepted Answer

- Don't chase, let them show you interest (they might put themselves in your path or be direct). Just be careful, some just want friendship.
Resist the urge to 'Hunt' them even if you feel like you have tunnelvision at times. All they want is for it to feel natural and friendly, maybe with some tension. Tunneling for someone either makes them uncomfortable or it has a strong potential to skew your personality to fit their needs (which it is depends on your social prowess).

- If you end up making it awkward, know that those feelings spread from whoever starts to express it. So choose not to be a spreader, act as if you've moved on. Or better yet, say you're sorry, don't drag it out with explainations and excuses, just acknowlage it to have happened and move on to improve. Stumbling is half the point in the process, accept the sacrifice.
Put them back in the friendzone, no need to be hostile, even if they are. Give space and just be nice and stable. And if you're worried about the rumors, just act oblivious, they're either talking about someone else or your consistancy in improving and moving forward will prove them wrong.

- Be careful with the apps, most of the time it's just unnecessary hurdles, like texting-rizz or profileframing, they have no real baring once you meet. Meet people at events, courses, church or otherwise.
Tip: Take pair-dancing-lessons, like Fox or Westcoast swing.

- Don't behave like you want or need anything from others (it might shine through at times but let your actions speak). This is to prove you can differentiate emotions from what is appropriate and in line with your goals.

- Make friends wherever you go, with whoever is there (young, old, gender, political leaning, religious belief). It's possible, just realize that you don't have to bend to their beliefs, just accept them with curiosity.

- Work on your core character and round out any sharp edges. Do things you know you're 'bad' at or things you think to 'not be your thing', but do it with humility, actually try. This will make you broader, more openminded and give you a myriad of smaller skills that is a testament to your depth and willingness to improve, that last is a radiant green flag for most, don't be rigid.
Half the task is to find good teachers, by talking to anyone..
Good skills:
- Cook food
- Clean
- Music and arts
- Dancing
- Household-economy
- Good with kids and animals
- How to do minor maintainance, like with cars, plumbing, building.
- People skills (If introvert: It will take less energy as you get better at it).
...

- Support those in need, but rarely at your own expense, just try to be positive and true. Be whoever you wish you had at your side.

MaybeTony · Accepted Answer

Younger men should be putting their efforts into being above average instead of trying to impress women. It’s not that hard to be above average these days. Work hard at uni, invest regularly, build a physique, and put more hours into your career than your peers. Women tend to just make themselves available with little effort from your end when you start succeeding. Women are a byproduct of your competency and success. Chase that. Most younger men do it backwards and wonder why they have no luck.

Androktasia · Accepted Answer

Know your worth and never let a girl disrespect you / treat you unfairly. Find someone who will always meet you halfway and is willing to make compromises.

Never give up on your hobbies / homies and don't become someone you aren't just to be a person they want you to be.

If a girl is putting you through some "tests" to see how far you are willing to go or how much you can take, leave.

Make sure you share the same values/opinions on certain things in relationship because no matter how much you love somebody, If your opinions differ then the relationship isn't going to last (e. g kids, boundaries...)

If the relationship doesn't last long, see it as way you are getting to know yourself better. I always say it's hard for me to say how would I react in certain situations because you don't know what you're gonna do until it happens to you and I think relationship works the same way.

Communication is key. Learn how to talk about everything, including your feelings, and don't hesitate to express them. If she disregards you in any way for that, leave.

AmyHew1tt · Accepted Answer

Don't take your advice from dating gurus or any kind of pill podcasts. The happiest and most successful guys in dating I've met are the ones who actively pursue themselves and self-improvement, acknowledge that there are trashy men and women, and the areas they can improve in their own lives for themselves. Most of them, even the average-looking ones, have met really amazing women through that and are quite happy. Whereas I have a cousin in his 20s, above average looking, but his dating life is totally stagnant because he's completely inauthentic and tries to appeal to what he  thinks  girls want, and they sniff it out. He's playing toward the male gaze instead of the female one.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I would tell him to avoid girls who have anger management issues and never to give up his education for a girl, cause I know guys who did that and they got dumped on graduation day.

V_Injector · Answer

Lie and say you're 14 so you can bang minors again.  They're easy I'm going to laugh my ass off if I get superb opinion for this🤔

coachTanthony · Answer

Don't do it. Shouldn't even be thinking about women until you are settled in with monetary means. Too many young men get bogged down with women early on.. have kids then never recover from that.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

Study hard and always wear a condom. No need to have any long term relationships. Just have fun and stay safe.

sage2021 · Answer

My first husband was 19 when we got married. It lasted 4 years.

10 years later I got married again but it was more Ike a situation ship than love. It too lasted 4 years. He was 24 years old.

Now I've been single for the last 44 years.

So, I would advise not to jump into marriage too soon.

Always cherish her. Let her know you've got her back and that she has yours.
Remember, in addition to loving each other you need to play together in a fun way, bring your senses' of humor into the relationship and use it.

whiskeyontherocks · Answer

I think I would give the same advice to a female.
Know yourself- I wish someone would have told me it’s ok to have needs in a relationship and communicate those needs.

Self improvement- Work on yourself so someone else doesn’t have to. This may need to include therapy or a learning podcasts that helps you process your own feelings and experiences. Being fit for your partner is a selfless act that benefits you as well plus better sex so be fit.
Expectations- Most importantly expect reciprocation…
I spent years thinking I should expect nothing in return for showing emotional, financial support, fixing things around the house, supporting her family, friends, etc.. that’s not a far and balanced relationship.
I could go on but these are the big ones all the other bits of advice kinda revolves around showing good character and knowing how to identify good characteristics in a partner.

bobalife · Answer

Get to know who you are, what’s important to you in life and quality traits in building a good foundation of a relationship, be communicative, mutual understanding/respect and attentive listening goes in hands well, and take your chances :) yolo, have fun, and goodluck! :)

dustybiker2 · Answer

Be genuine. Communicate what your needs are in a kind way. And always remember to listen to your partner.
If you don't receive these in return, ask for them. If you still don't get the same respect back find someone better who does deserve you.
Always listen to your gut.

Cheapskate · Answer

I spent much of my life ending up in relationships with women I didn't have any feelings for, because I had low self-esteem and felt like I did not deserve to date someone I was attracted to. Like, I was genuinely mind-blown when I found out maybe my assumption was wrong.

So yeah, my advice is basically to go for the women you like, rather than just settling for whoever likes you.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

think of it as a side quest and stop putting your relationship label as your only sense of value.

Anonymous · Answer

Girls are not serious about dating, they will waste your time and only want flings and situationships to boost her feminist ego/pride. Focus on myself making money and keep my distance. There's another whacko feminist extremists on GAG who will die alone with their bitter hatred for men and I am talking about the gutless feminist cowards on GAG who remain anon. and make it their life mission to demonize and emasculate men. To any guy reading this, make sure you put an idiot girl in place and never talk to her again, fellas, she's not worth your time and effort dump her aside for some crack head fool who will abuse her. It's funny girls get soo creeped out by a genuine good dude but will chase the toxic guy who treats her like crap.

Lionman95 · Answer

Get yourself in a position where you are happy or comfortable with yourself. Don't start dating from a position of insecurity, because being insecure when you start dating makes it more likely that you attract women that just want to use you and are not really interested in you.

Mr_twoface · Answer

My advice would be;

Be yourself, know that communication is crucial in any type of relationship, be respectfull and understand the word 'Consent', have patience, be open-minded, handle rejections gracefully and learn from it, keep a healthy balance between your dating life and other aspects like friends, family, work, and hobbies. Totally and utterly avoid comparison, stay safe and have safe sex and most importantly... Enjoy the Process!

x

Purpleronnie · Answer

I’d say “ don’t be focused on dating in your early 20’s “. Don’t take yourself seriously , focus on your independence , what you want from life and how you will achieve it. Focus yourself on your goals , be honest and true to yourself and stand the fuck up. Women and dating will always be there so ALWAYS put your self first !!!

BadApple69 · Answer

Don’t be afraid of it…. Don’t be afraid of failing. Get out there, talk to people (including women) and enjoy yourself.  Don’t worry if you strike out once or a hundred times. Keep trying.

itsclearlynicholas · Answer

Take it slow, consent, public busy places for dates, health tests, condoms, lube, even pregnancy tests or birth control, or all the above. And keep things civil, mature, legal and safe 😁 and consent 💯💞

Beau2024 · Answer

I would say don’t date anyone, focus on your life travel and experience. Learn who you are what your morals are and what tou want your life to look. Figure out how you want to raise your children and if you have certain beliefs. Do not compromise any of this, once you reach your mid 30’s you can start to seek who you want as a partner. By this time you should no what you want and figured out who you are for your partner.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Date A LOT. Date DIVERSITY. Date or have NSA One night stands or LTR.. If you're not living by yourself meaning still at home or roommates, try to go solo, I know it's more expensive but there's plenty of benefits the best benefit being that you build a relationship with yourself which is probably the most important relationship of your 20s.

pinkchampagne97 · Answer

Don’t lead on the girl, be respectful, be honest with yourself and with her, know what you want exactly, don’t play games

Anonymous · Answer

Avoid dating apps. You will most likely end up hating women cause women on those apps are trash. Forget the apps, lift weights, and take up some activities that are female dominated.

Also, If you plan on paying (you should) coffee shop for first dates only, unless you have properly vetted the woman.

Anonymous · Answer

Move out of the USA FAST. If you aim to get, and stay married, trust me, she's not in the USA. Not now she isn't. You'll get treated FAR better in Mexico -and live a healthier life, especially mentally and financially. That's from personal experience. Once you date some women in NL and Oaxaca, and meet their families... you won't even think vagina owners on this side of the border are women at all.

genericname85 · Answer

if you think you're worthless to women now, just wait till you're 30 and suddenly they start running after you. tho they will be fat and have children from other men then xD so pick your poison, i guess :D

Anonymous · Answer

Be prepared for let downs, broken hearts, and a lot of bullshit. If it seems too good to be true it probably is. The low is always lower than the high. Learn to kiss ass to make things work. You better have looks/ physical attractiveness and or money/ assets to get the good looking girl. Be prepared for a lot of competetion and get used to the more attractive guy getting the girl.

NathanDavis · Answer

don't wait for advice... go do it yourself and find out

Rangers · Answer

The United States is NOT the only place in the world where you can find yourself a nice lady. In fact, I recommend you start there, your odds are so much better out there, than in here.

Try Ukraine or Israel, to start

Nikki1989 · Answer

Ignore the nonsense you read online from other men. Advice online is free because it is worthless.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

Don't focus on sex man, focus on what you want long term

Billlewis · Answer

I'd strongly recommend that you perfect your masturbation technique as much as possible.

Xoirwinkan · Answer

Don't focus on sex, focus on getting a quality woman to marry.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Don't, instead focus on your career and making money. Then when your in your late 30s or early 40s consider contracting a woman for breeding purposes. But dating is a waste of time andcmoney

JacobJordan · Answer

Go overseas if you want a healthy happy marriage

VV3ZZY123 · Answer

Dont even think about it. Ignore the Babes. Focus on living a successful life and make friends. Also, dont take advice from anyone :)

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

For early 20's I would advice don't be quick to rush things no matter how you think or feel you "click" with that person.

DextroShade · Answer

Lift, get your money up, learn game, read Why Women Deserve Less and The Rational Male.

JayBones2469 · Answer

Move to Asia. White women are less than trash and lat8nas are barely above that

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

Pussy is pussy. Never get legally entangled to just one.

Anonymous · Answer

Forget about it it's the MeToo era and that will kill you

12karen · Answer

Just be yourself and always be honest

OtterMan68 · Answer

take it slow and let it evolve. Don't rush

Anonymous · Answer

You're 20, stop this anime soyboy shit

thegreenyogi · Answer

Go with the flow.

JHAYES317 · Answer

Don’t put the pussy on a pedestal

Anonymous · Answer

Go get you some!

In_Trance · Answer

Practice

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Don’t do it.

Anonymous · Answer

Dont date 😅

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