If someone feels intimidated/nervous in your presence is that a good or bad thing?

Question

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I don't think it's a good thing to feel intimidated by anyone. In fact, just the opposite is true. People around you should be made to feel relaxed and comfortable in your presence.

Being nervous is a little bit different. Sometimes we build things up so big in our minds that it will cause us to be nervous. Like when you are meeting someone for the first time for the first date. We tend to mull over a lot of questions about what could happen or that you are trying so hard to make things go perfect.

Here's an example of a guy that I was dating and who I also worked with.

One night while we were out having dinner he told me that I intimidated him. I couldn't understand why he would say that.

Then he explained that every time he saw me in the hallway going towards him, I had my arms crossed like I was mad at him and he didn't know why.

I lived in East Tennessee at the time and it has some pretty cold 🥶 weather there. Plus it was cold in our office building.

So in order for me to warm up my hands, I would cross them and tuck them under my arms to get warm. But to him, it looked like I was mad at him.

So I reached over our dinner table and asked him to feel how cold my hands were. Ahhh! They were very cold. Then I explained that I cross my arms and put them under my arms to warm them up.
He totally understood that and we ever even laughed about it. I'm glad that he brought it out in the open and once he understood what I was doing, he wasn't intimidated by me anymore.🤣🤣

Bitter_Sweet94 · Accepted Answer

It depends on why they feel that way.

If the nervousness comes from attraction, respect, or wanting to make a good impression, it’s neutral to even positive., It usually fades as comfort grows.

If it comes from feeling judged, inferior, or unsafe to be themselves, that’s not healthy.

It means the dynamic has a power imbalance or lack of emotional safety.

The key isn’t whether someone is intimidated.

It’s whether your presence makes them shrink or eventually feel seen and at ease.

A good connection moves from nervous to calm, not from nervous to controlled.

aaron13547 · Accepted Answer

I think it just means you hold more energy then they do. We all have frequencies and vibrations. Your frequency is like the average of all your life experiences (vibrations) put together. Vibration is your state of being right now (like feeling nervous or not). When people get nervous just being in your presence, its because your frequency is so much higher then theirs. They feel it without knowing it. For them to communicate they need to be able to hold the same amount of energy you do. So they get nervous, that raises their energy through vibration to try and match your natural frequency.

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

That really depends on why. If they feel nervous/intimidated, with feelings of anxiety around them because they don't like the person and they seem too forceful or try to throw their weight around in a room, then that's a bad thing.

But if you feel nervous/intimidated because you're attracted to them, I'm still not entirely sure I'd say that's good either. Because it will make you behave awkwardly, say or do something you later regret, or try to avoid them. All things that will be noticed by the other people if they are perceptive.

Summeroflove · Answer

That depends in the context of dating. It depends… it could signal a high level of attraction but it can also signal that someone’s feeling uncomfortable. There is a major difference.

If someone’s smile seems faked…. Vs genuine like a subconscious smile. People can get nervous for very different reasons. And it could mean they really like you…. I mean really really like you. Or feel completely uncomfortable awkward even repulsed

ohsheeT · Answer

It's kinda adorable , in a way , and I always try to make them relax. And laugh just because I'm sure we have all felt that
Before and when it happens. Sometimes your not the real you. So that's one of those moments where you might take her hand and take off running yell hurry and you make her jump over little obstacles or stop right in the middle of a puddle , just something stupid l o l.. I don't know in this moment but on that moment it would make us both laugh and relax a little

Purpleronnie · Answer

I don’t understand how that could be anything other than negative unless that’s benefits you in like a job role capacity I. e security.

Assuming you’re talking about a personal relationship not even necessarily romantic , although that’s even worse then how are you to bond / connect with that person?

It either speaks to their insecurities or the vibe / tone / attitude you have.

Whatever the reason though in a relationship of ANY kind it doesn’t speak cohesion and the relationship will suffer as a direct result.

OneViewpoint · Answer

I've been told repeatedly that I'm physically, mentally, and behaviorally (silence) intimidating to both men and women. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? It depends on the context.

Sometimes that intimidation serves me well to keep people at a distance. So I'll use it and let those people run with their impression of me. I don't really have to do anything other than remain silent. Their own minds will do my work for me. The silence thing really unnerves a lot of people.

But sometimes it can backfire on me. My overall impression combined with my silence becomes a mystery they can't let go of. And women especially will get more aggressive in their attempts to get me to engage with them. Aww shit.

And then there are the people who are nice, fun, and intelligent that I actually do want to engage with. For them, I can and will turn off the cold, silent, intimidation and turn on the charm instantly to put them at ease and let them know I can be approachable.

Zack-Bann · Answer

I have that effect on a lot of people

It’s rarely a good thing

But it does help to ensure I don’t become anyone’s “victim”

I do try my best to smile and have a welcoming energy but it’s not in my nature

AngryCarl2 · Answer

That would depend on the nature of our relationship, and what I wanted from them. But I can't imagine anyone being intimidated by me.

Niccolo Macchiavelli famously said "It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both."

Zionne · Answer

I think energy does not lie. I wouldn't want to be around someone who does make me feel intimadated/ nervous. Our body usually looks for a calm and relaxed energy.

mysteriousNicholas · Answer

@pearl222 Well you are a doctor, lady - some doctors can seem rather "cold" without meaning to have a "cold* bedside manner

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I'd say that's generally bad. Because I don't want to ever intimidate someone unless I need to control them for some reason.

Ironco · Answer

I have resting "I'm going to kick your ass" face, so I've always been used to people being intimidated by me.  It changes when they get to know me...

AgentG111 · Answer

Context! Situation

slatyb · Answer

Ask them out, and find out what you want to know.

Bricealan · Answer

@pearl222 Definitely, not a good thing.

Nikki1989 · Answer

That is rarely positive.

Anonymous · Answer

It could be, but it probably is more rare.

Sebastian100 · Answer

Depends on who is feeling that

Anonymous · Answer

Depends, it can be either.

FreyaRed · Answer

Bad.

Evsisa · Answer

A bad thing.

ABC1x1x · Answer

Its a "them" thing.

If someone feels intimidated/nervous in your presence is that a good or bad thing?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

If someone feels intimidated/nervous in your presence is that a good or bad thing?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.