Why do some men think that he can make a woman love him by spending tons of money on her?

[Summeroflove]

It’s not love if she’s only with you for the money…. And without a genuine bond or attraction don’t act shocked when she cheats on you. A woman whose invested in you won’t leave because you didn’t spend enough on her.

It’s like. If a woman will only go out with you if you take her to the French Laundry for free… and pay the entire tab. Dude if a woman’s invested in you she will take a walk at the park. You would be surprised at what women will do for men they are actually attracted to. The only thing she’s doing if you’re spending tons of money on her…. Is using you. That’s it. It’s hard to stay loyal to someone you’re not even attracted to or respect in the first place.

[DishLady]

Someone did that with me and I gave up trying to explain that I'm not for sale. He cut me a check for a fundraiser... EVERYONE did a double take as soon as he offered it, but I knew he was doing it bc he was in a pissing contest with a co-worker of mine who was ready to fully back the fundraiser.

I tried talking him out of cutting the check but he waved away my concerns about optics. When he stalled sending it I said I understood if he had changed his mind bc it was a crazy amount to begin with... but then he did it... and a couple days later he started treating me like the lawyer guy in Pretty Woman... and I cut a check to give him back his damned money, telling him I'm not for sale and don't accept anything from a guy who treats women that way. I'm pretty sure he's still biting his nails over it... but everyone SWEARS he's head over heels in love with me and just being stupid.

[ShellyB]

For most women this is not the only factor or the main factor but, if he will spend more, that might indicate he is more interested or thinks more highly of someone. Also things that cost more are often nice or fun, and, nice and fun things are usually positive. As long as you don’t feel like or get referred to like you’re a prostitute or something like that, it is mainly positive signals just as far as interest level and nice experiences. I am just being very honest and not saying what I am “supposed to say” which to me is the point of talking anonymously here. JMO!

[Summeroflove]

I mean people have different love languages. But it’s good to know a person genuinely loves you for you…. And wouldn’t leave you the second financial issues arose even if she was the ultimate cause of it.

Two if someone with more money came along.

[Zack-Bann]

It’s about creating the illusion of safety


He thinks that by solving her problems with money she will be dependent on him and will feel safe and comfortable with him


Unfortunately: it’s true


Very often women will stick around longer with a big spender because breaking up means covering all their own expenses again


It’s sad to trade emotional connection for money
But the reality is, everything is for sale

[ProbablyClueless]

I think that way of thinking comes from another era.

My dad is 71 and that's how he thinks. For whatever reason, he just got it into his head that men provide for women and women respond by providing romantic affections in return for that. As far as he's concerned, that's just what we do.

[Summeroflove]

Which is great to a extent. But in the past people also stayed even in financial trouble.

But it was also give and take. A lot of so called traditional women want to do more taking then giving. When in the past it was two people working EQUALLY hard just in different roles. That’s why it worked.

[Summeroflove]

But a lot of people won’t stay together anymore. As soon as issues arise…. Someone’s gone.

[msc545]

I think if a woman is with you for any length of time, at all, she's basically there for the money, and she won't stick around forever.

[msc545]

As soon as issues arise, women are gone.

[MJVillarama]

Because some guys confuse generosity with connection. Money can impress, but it can’t replace chemistry or effort. Learned that the hard way on dating guru

[LazerBean]

I think a lot of people just don't think things through. And yes that sounds like a flippant, easy answer but I genuinely think it's true.

[Summeroflove]

I think you’re right especially people new to relationships. As people mature they tend to learn the only issue is if they end up stuck in a marriage with someone like this.

[TallLoney]

I mean, any time I've talked to a girl she found a reason to make fun of me or laugh at me for asking her out. Pretty sure if I invited yer on a yacht, it would be a different story.

[BADGER44]

no it wouldn't. I've had sisters. their cruel. they make fun of men its what women do.. they take as much as you'll give them... teasing is what they do. dont you know that... they expect it 2...

[Summeroflove]

Well yeah for a woman wanting money. Absolutely…. And I’ve seen this happen where a woman’s with a man she clearly isn’t that attracted to. And she will openly flirt with men that she is…. And it’s like he doesn’t notice

[Nemesis2k7]

Because women program men. Women give sex and then ask men to buy them things. Or hint at it

[Summeroflove]

Men would be surprised if they stopped sleeping with women and getting too attached to hookups. Women as well…

[c704710]

Honestly, as long as there is one woman in the world that responds to that tactic...

[msc545]

Well, she's not going to love him, but she'll certainly stick around until the money runs out.

[queenofcardio]

Because some women do love men like that.

[Summeroflove]

Some…. And chances are she doesn’t love him. She loves the money she may even love how he makes her feel.

But if the money was gone…. Or more likely she finds a man with more money. She’s gone

[Anonymous]

Most of them know they are deluding themselves.

[NathanDavis]

they're not thinking... they're just stupid

[AngryCarl2]

It's close enough to love for most men. lol

[leva543]

Some do some don't.

[ABC1x1x]

Because it works almost every time.

[Daytoday79]

They're immature