What is the point of dating anymore?

[simply_anomalous]

I have a good collection of experiences with people. From being overweight in my childhood, to having self esteem issues over my cleft lip, to being too stoic, and discovering that I am neurodivergent in a high functioning and intellectual sense, to getting a glow up 3 years ago and trying to push through the body dysmorphia. All to say that I have struggled with social anxiety all my life, and a lot of isolation.

I never had much issues with women, I have a good collection of experiences with women as well. Right up until my last experience which utterly ruined me. See, I always worked on myself. I always chased self growth and improvement. And I am also a very spiritual person. And very intelligent. With an insatiable curiosity. I never liked math until my college program required I become intimate with it. And once I pieced a lot of things together (piecing math, spirituality, philosophy, sciences... etc), it made it really difficult to "unsee" a lot of things that I started to notice.

What I mean is that I worked on myself a bit too much. I saw the patterns that needed to be worked on. I saw a lot of habits and unconscious behaviors and patterns I needed to iron out. But as I became more "whole" and started loving myself, I noticed that my confidence, my certainty, would rub people the wrong way without ever engaging with me and actually getting to know me.

I am now "too good to be true." A "unicorn." People project narcissism onto me, arrogance, cockiness, any flaw they can think of to water me down. Silly me thought if I was just authentic I would be accepted, but no one wants true authenticity. I have started to experience an unsettling paradox with people. And now I feel far more unattractive to women than I ever did.

I don't know what the point is anymore. Everything is performance. Feels like I'm navigating other people's mental illnesses at this stage. I'm just too whole, don't need validation from anyone, and I guess women can sense that.

[Anonymous]

Most PEOPLE are full of 💩 dude, and that includes women. Most women will tell you one thing and then do another. MOST young women are very shallow. Hell Most young people are very shallow. And women of all ages will judge you 6 ways to Sunday. But that doesn't mean there aren't a few good apples out there. But you have to be VERY VISIBLE for those women to see you. Closed mouths generally do not get fed. I didn't hit my stride with women till my 40's. And yes, by that age the majority of GOOD women are already married. Good women do not stay single for long man. As you get older the concentration of 💩ty women will only get higher. But there are still some good ones left.

[Staximus]

Sounds like you're still navigating your own mental illness. Work on that, nevermind the other bullshit. And don't tell girls you had a "glow up", they're going to think you're a peter puffer.

[simply_anomalous]

I want to single out your attitude for a second, because it really is a strong example of the contrast between myself and types like you. I think it's safe to say we ALL navigate some form of mental illness. This shouldn't have to disqualify me from finding a connection. Lastly, you're not a girl so don't place judgement on my use of words and how other girls are going to think about it. Are you here to just blow some smoke or do you actually care to add to the conversation?

[Staximus]

Listen pally, you sound bat shit crazy. Get your head screwed on straight. That's what you need to focus on.

[Nikki1989]

For some people, there is none. Some people will always be losers in life. It is your choice what lane you choose to travel in. Pick that lane, but don't whine about your choices like so many do on here.

[simply_anomalous]

Who is whining?

[jamesgoldman]

There isn't, I quit dating 9 years ago and don't miss it

[simply_anomalous]

It's beginning to look like most of us are going to have to find that penguin.

[msc545]

It is pointless, expensive, and dangerous for men.

[simply_anomalous]

true

[slatyb]

To meet a partner, same as it ever was.