Should I stop talking to a guy if he has a toxic ex?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been talking to this guy for like a month and we went out on a date. And I had a really good time but then at night his ex girlfriend made an account and wrote my name in the bio saying that this boy I went on a date with cheated on her and that I knew and followed me at like 3 am. I was texting the account and was asking her to remove my name and that he told me that they broke up. ( which they did ) but I think he might have been texting me before that and then broke up with her. He told me that they had a very toxic relationship and that he would try and break up with her and she wouldn’t let and a bunch of other stuff anyways I spoke to her and said I’m sorry about her relationship ending and the way things went but I don’t want to be involved and keep me out of it. ALL THIS AFTER THE FIRST DATE. So I don't know if I should keep talking to him and seeing him because of all this and I don’t think I want a relationship with him but I don’t really wanna stop talking to him but I don’t wanna put myself in a bad weird situation either. I mean I don’t think he was perfect and either was she but I don’t know if this should be the point were we stop talking.

[Abbycado]

A lot to unpack here. The issue is knowing who to believe. This sentence said a lot.

”he would try and break up with her and she wouldn’t let”

They are both toxic if that is true. In any event, this isn’t a good start and I’d move on, but you need to trust your instincts.

[Asker]

What if I don’t want to date him but I don't know be like friends who make out? Is that still bad cuz I’ve never successfully don’t that before because I could never be on the same page as the guy but I think I entered a new era

[Abbycado]

I think that will end up even worse. You’ll be in a very grey area in my opinion. I’d cut my losses or if you think the ex is the problem and not him, keep talking.

@HollyK21 do you have thoughts on the asker’s situation? Maybe a separate set of eyes might come up with something different.

[HollyK21]

I wouldn’t do the whole “friends with benefits” thing because it always winds up messy. If you’re really interested in him then ask for him to tell her to back off. If she keeps lashing out you could always take legal action, maybe with a cease and desist. I don’t think it’s fair for you to not have a shot with him because she’s batshit.

[Asker]

Thanks for your guys opinion!! I agree the only thing I’m worried about is that yeah she is clearly the main issue but why was he even in that situation to begin with?

[slatyb]

Why give someone else that power?

[Zionne]

yes, spare the toxicity lol

[In_Trance]

Yeah