Why is my boyfriend avoiding doing stuff?

[Anonymous]

so I’ve been dating my boyfriend for like 4 months and we started doing a lot of stuff - we haven’t had sex yet but other stuff. (Context: we’ve known and liked each other for like 5 years so we’re not still getting to know one another) Everything is always fine and we’ve both communicated many times that we enjoy it and don’t think we’re moving too fast. But all of a sudden he is avoiding it at all costs. Usually if we hang out with friends he comes back to my house after, but lately he just drops me off because he’s “too tired.” Tonight he kept doing random stuff to avoid even making out with me and I just thought that was weird. It’s not that that’s all I care about in our relationship, but when we’ve made it a habit in the past, I think it’s weird to break it. I don't know how to bring this up to him and I don’t know what I did wrong. He still loves me and cares about me, so I’m trying to forget about it.

Updates

5 mo

Also just as context, he has initiated EVERY single thing we’ve done, which is why I don’t think he’s uncomfortable with it

[Anonymous]

his avoidance is likely tied to internal factors rather than something you did wrong. Common reasons for this "pulling back" include stress or burnout from work/school, performance anxiety as the relationship gets more serious, or even a subconscious desire to slow down the pace to protect the long-term bond you've built over five years. Instead of letting it fester, try bringing it up outside of the bedroom in a low-pressure way by saying, "I've noticed we've been less physical lately and I just want to check in is there anything on your mind or anything I can do to support you?" This shifts the focus from your "performance" to his well-being, which usually opens the door for the honest communication.

Good luck.

[Asker]

Thank you! I talked to him about it and he said he was stressed about school and work. Everything is great as of today and we are doing well

[Opinion Owner]

Glad to hear that.

[slatyb]

If you want a more intimate relationship, find a new boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Is he possibly getting it somewhere else or suddenly religious?

[Asker]

He is not very religious and is definitely loyal to me. I’m starting to think he was just worried about the frequency and wants it to be more special but I’m really clueless

[Opinion Owner]

Talk to him

[Hagar88]

Std...

[jahaims]

Ask him obviously

[In_Trance]

Ask him why

[Girl29428383386]

Maybe he asexual