Is weird for a married man to want to walk to lunch with you and walk out to car with you and talk to you a lot?

[Anonymous]

Married and im single but the conversation are clean

[HollyK21]

Okay so this is like the 4th time you’re posting about this, so you must genuinely think there’s something more. I even asked you specifically and you said you were “just curious because you only have female friends”. I don't know how many people have to tell you that this is a new guy, with broken English who can hardly communicate with anyone other than you. If it’s really so odd to have a male friend without overthinking every aspect of your interactions then maybe you should distance yourself.

[HollyK21]

Even the fact that you opted out of mentioning those important facts tells me you want to be told he has a crush specifically. It’s like you’re tailoring the story to end up hearing what you want to hear.

[Asker]

Just this girl at work says it’s little too much and he needs to give me some space even the fact of language barrier he tried walking with me to lunch and walking with me to the car and always stopping by to talk

[Asker]

I don’t mind it just don’t want people t o start wondering bc I’ve been catching eye glances lately

[HollyK21]

Please stop listening to the bored girl at work trying to create drama and just look at the facts of the situation, because the answer is there. You are the only person he can talk to or hang around with right now. The only one. Do you understand how isolating that has to feel? I’m sure if he knew hanging around you was too excessive he’d back off as to respect his wife, but you don’t set any boundaries. You have multiple people hearing about this situation and telling you he’s just a friend, or telling you this is normal for new people at work. Do you remember on your other question having that guy comment and telling you this you he’s done the same? Like you’re getting so much feedback and specifically choosing to entertain what one woman is telling you, and her opinion is only creating drama. It is not a big deal for him to sit with you at lunch or walk with you to the car, especially as a man knowing it can be dangerous for women. Like this is just a nice guy who has made a friend, it makes me sad to see how twisted such polite, simple behavior is being translated to him doing wrong to his marriage.

[HollyK21]

Then why not stop hanging out with him? Politely tell him you’d like some space now, I am certain he don’t only oblige but would feel mortified that this is how you and other people are interpreting his actions. It’s like being the new guy at school in another country where only one person speaks English, of course he’d hang on to that one English speaking person he can’t talk to anyone else without trouble.

[Asker]

I understand mam

[Asker]

I think this girl friend is just little worried for me bc there was a Married man before who was into me and it ended up bad

[Asker]

So this man isn’t afraid he may catch feelings?

[Asker]

FWI just been getting soooo many glances especially from man like literally staring From distance as if I’m doing something wrong I don’t understand but I feel it

[HollyK21]

Is there a reason why you don’t ask him for space? Like I said, he can be completely unaware of the stares, glances, your concerns, etc.. You said before that your boss (or whoever) placed him with you because you are the only other person who speaks his language, so I think that’s a big part of why he hangs around. If he didn’t sit with you, he’d likely sit alone if he isn’t a social person. He may not even care to go off and make friends, since that’s not the purpose of going work. But your friend sounds like a lot stirrer making something out of nothing. As mentioned, he got placed with you, he didn’t just point you out specifically and latch on. On top of that you’ve said yourself that the conversations and interactions are very platonic and normal, so why make something out of this? I’m sure that as a respectable woman yourself, if he were behaving suggestively or inappropriate you’d say something, right?

[HollyK21]

**your friend sounds like a pot-stirrer.

[HollyK21]

I think the stares are just curiosity, because it’s not like your boss introduced him to everyone at work, he came in and was paired with you. They don’t know him, or that he’s hanging around you because of being paired. It’s just nosiness, but not suggestive. I think that’s normal when a new person is in the workplace, school, etc.

[Asker]

They know he speaks the same language as me…

[HollyK21]

Okay, do they know that your boss placed him with you? Do they know he hardly speaks English?

[HollyK21]

You also avoided this question twice already so I’ll ask plainly: have you asked him for distance and if not then why?

[HollyK21]

Well, since you’re choosing to ignore what I’m saying, you should at the very least ask yourself “why”. Why not have an answer for why you refuse to do the most obvious, sensible thing? You’re not being honest here, and I think that if you were, you wouldn’t have to post this question over and over again.

[Asker]

Yes they know that he hardly speaks and they put him with me more than others

[Asker]

His not on my team tho

[HollyK21]

Why won’t you answer my question?

[Asker]

I just did the coworkers know he don’t speak English hardly

[Asker]

It’s the man who been staring

[HollyK21]

That wasn’t my question at all love, it wasn’t even a question, it was just me addressing what you said about all of the stares you were getting. I was giving clarity as to why you’re getting those looks.

My question was why not create some distance from him or ask for space if you feel as though he’s being too clingy or overstepping any boundaries?

[Asker]

I think I’m okay i don’t see him all the time anyways just twice a week his not on my team all the time

[HollyK21]

Twice a week? I don't know why I thought it was like an every day thing lol please don’t listen to your coworker, knowing you hardly see him just makes her look more messy.

[slatyb]

Weird? No, it's not weird. He's almost certainly attracted to you.

[Asker]

What’s that gotta do with anything

[Asker]

He hasn’t said anything inappropriate tho

[firenine909]

I’ve had teachers ask me if I wanted lunch with them