Is it fine to have a drink or coffee with a married guy who you're not romantically interested in?

[Anonymous]

Let me start off by saying, I have no interest in this guy at all, he is like a younger brother to me.

Do you guys think it would be ok to have a drink or coffee with this guy who is married in a friends only way? I only ask this as we both study engineering (he is in a different class than me so we don't see each other much in college).

The people in my class are all much older than me and we don't really talk at all, and I don't have any other friends who like to talk about engineering as obviously it's not really a common subject for girls as it is for guys so it's just nice to have a conversation with someone who understands.

And also, do you think he would even be willing to have a conversation and a drink / coffee with a girl even just as friends?

[Guy13]

You're a grown lady but...

Number One rule if anyone is going to be in a friendship with a married individual is to make certain that their spouse knows you and is on board. In this case, it would be a study hall arrangement. When i was in graduate school, I had these circumstances too. That's what Facetime and Ipad were good for the group. SECRECY is a sign of impending issues and a feeding of the married individuals fantasy.

Clear Purpose and it is not Coffee...

Proper Communication both in Time and Style is a clear evidence of a developing issue. Guidelines, Rules and Regulations, and common sense are expected to be known and understood without having to make a damn contract and talk about it.

No shoulder to lean on garbage. Transparency with Spouse can actually exacerbate this and I nipped that crap in the bud immediately. Actually, it was at this point where the chummy relationship ended. "Frick and Frack" were done... opposite ends of "board room".

What would she or he feel... how would I feel IF etc. There is always one with a slight hope to begin with as friend are friends because we find something attractive in them !!! Always one that catches feelings... and disturbs the flow within the graduate program itself. Divorce and sudden break-up are common in PhD or Med school.

[Daurban6999]

In my opinion I would think you have some interest in him since you have something in common. The one thing that stands out is you are questioning if it's ok or not. In my opinion and experience things like this as innocent as they might be often lead to more. Not to mention what the significant other might feel. may cause a relationship problems if it's a continuous thing. But with all do respect. And innocent conversation it's not technically wrong.

[Rose89]

As long as there is no sneaking around I think it’s ok to be friends. I mean the guy is allowed friends out side his marriage. Just make sure he knows as friends only, as well as his wife. You dont want him getting the wrong idea either.

[ShellyB]

I was going to say "no" before reading the details of the situation, instead I will say "maybe", I think it would be better to have a drink or coffee with him and his wife just to make sure nobody misunderstands anything. JMO!

[FilmGuy93]

A coffee after or between classes would be fine. "Drinks" would not.

[Anonymous]

When it comes to married men, I wouldn’t advise starting that sort of relationship. Don’t get me wrong I completely get your POV, but just out of respect for his wife, I don’t think it’s very appropriate inviting her husband for a one on one outing. What I would suggest if anything would be to invite both him and her, but would that even feel comfortable for you? Probably not.

[JPresidente]

If the wife knows then go ahead but use caution because if you start to be around each other a lot, there is a chance you will develop a connection with him and he for you and that could then lead to feelings.

[Nikki1989]

I do it all the time because of my job. I see nothing wrong with it.

[jamesgoldman]

Sure I do all the time with both married and unmarried women

[Blackcupcake]

I don’t see why it would be an issue

[User3191989]

Only if it's for business

[HugeDikEng]

He probably wants to bang your puss!