Do men genuinely not mind dating a partner 10 years younger?

[Anonymous]

I am talking to this guy who's 33 and I'm 23. We are considering a relationship, not for casual fun, but actually settling down, so compatibility testing is where we are at. I don't mind the age gap... even find it attractive. But I do notice that I can be a bit immature compared to him. I notice this "girly crush" type of energy, where he is cool and relaxed. I worry sometimes he finds me immature. But I read that guys generally don't care if their partners are younger.

[Cyfris]

I can say from personal experience I care little. I have had a girlfriend 14 years older and younger. We care about how you look, how virtuous you are, and how we feel when we are with you. He may at times find you immature and a many other things but it doesn't matter to him. Men are either in, out or just along for the ride and if they are in they already decided based on the above listed criteria that the whole is worth more then the parts. If they are out it doesn't matter what you do either. Now if you are in the just along for the ride category is where you have to be careful but that place is usually reserved for those who lack in virtue, and looks so as long as your not a prostitute or shooting way above your own looks say your a 7 and he is a 9 it is unlikly you will be there.

[Asker]

Thank you. That's helpful. I guess I feel a bit of pressure to act older than I am, but thats not genuine is it?

[Cyfris]

No gosh no always be yourself it's all that you can do. Be aware there will be challenges and hurtles that will arrise from choosing to do something less conventional but I am a firm believer that you should unapologotically do what makes you happy regardless because when your being true to yourself all the noise doesn't matter.

[Asker]

Thank you. I do feel like it works for me.

[Levin]

Generally men prefer younger and women prefer older.

Actually, that gap sounds ideal.

You're kind of missing the point in terms of feeling immature. What enhances attraction is that sense of complementary difference. ie, I like youthful and free spirited women because sometimes I'm too serious. It's a wonderful complement, if you see where I'm getting at? You enable him to chill out and relax, he has that maturity which does create that sense of calm space of holding for you.

[Asker]

That makes sense!

[Levin]

Cheers. Have some fun and don't be too serious! I'm sure he appreciates you for you. He doesn't want another version of him :)

[HollyK21]

MYou can’t really ask what several men think of one. What matters is how he feels and if he’s cool with the age gap then that’s all that matters. If it’s really a point of concern for you then end it, but I have a feeling that’s not what you wanna do so there’s no point exploring this line of questioning.

[Anonymous]

No men don’t mind. A lot of women think that men care about a girl’s career, her job or her money. Most of us don’t. Most men want a feminine girl. No I don’t mean a slave either. Some girl is going to say oh so you want a slave who pops out kids, cooks and cleans and caters to you. I want a girl who wants to do those things, not forced to do those things. A girl who loves those things. Who loves doing those things for her family. There’s nothing wrong w you being younger. A lot of people, especially women will say well there could be a power imbalance there. Just cause someone is older doesn’t mean they have more life experience in the way of schooling, travel, the world, etc. You’re an adult. If you can vote on worldly topics in an election I’m sure you can make a decision about your date life. I’d just make sure first ok you find out what does a relationship mean, look like to him as it does to you. Do you both want marriage, kids, etc. That’s not a discussion from day one, but it eventually needs to come out before it gets much farther down the road.

[MikeMcMansion]

I mean if he wants kids which it sounds like a yes, the women his age (even the single ones) have kids already. I remember being the same age as him when I taught a woman your age to shoot guns and sight-in/zero a rifle. We likely wouldn’t get to teach things like that with a woman our age. Younger women don’t mind being led while women our age (or older) tend to be more hostile to that idea and more arguments may occur.

That age gap was normal for most of history. I missed opportunities out there because I thought I was too old when the exact age comparison popped up in my life after my divorce.

[slatyb]

No, we don't. But you should be sure that he views you as an equal.

[HighValue]

Age differences are fine. What matters is compatible morals, compatible long term life goals, and having at least a couple things in common you both enjoy doing.

[nolabels]

At 33 I'd maybe have dated a 23-year-old.
Maybe.

Now, at 67, my minimum age line has climbed significantly higher than that.

[Berethor]

Most men prefer girls who are much younger than themselves, getting one is winning in life.

[Asker]

Why?

[Berethor]

It's natural instinct, young women are more fertile, why also tend to have better looks.

www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/.../age-and-fertility

[Asker]

How young would u go

[Berethor]

As long as it's legal, the age of consent in my country is 16 if you wondering.

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Jail_Bait

[Asker]

What if age of consent was 14?

[Berethor]

It is 14 in China, if the age of consent was lower in my country then I might go for lower, but in the end of the day I don't force a young girl to be with me, and it not likely that such young girl would want me, but if she was wanting me then you think that I was turning her down?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_consent

[Asker]

Rejecting is the responsible thing to do. I was into older men and am so relieved that none of them took me on. I couldn't be more grateful today for that rejection.

[Berethor]

How old you was? and what is the age of consent in your country? why to reject something good? unless the law makes you reject it, anyway it unlikely to happen anyway.

[Asker]

I was into older men (30-70y) since I hit puberty. Somewhere around 13-14 I was flirting with older men, idealizing movies like Lolita. It wouldn't have been good. It would have messed me up. I'm still a virgin and am so grateful that no older men took advantage of me, while I was vulnerable.

[Berethor]

So you regret liking older men? what if they married you, it still taking an advantage? and the fact that you can it taking an advantage means that you understand that it's attractive to them.

[Berethor]

I mean fact that you call it taking an advantage means that you understand that it's attractive to them.

[Asker]

Yes, I regret the interactions I had with older men back then.

Yes, because I was a girl who didn't know what she wanted, nor what's smart for her. If a man was to indulge me, he would have been taking advantage of my inexperience and he could basically groom me to be whatever he wants. Even if he married me, I'd still be stuck in a marriage I was not mature enough to accept on my own terms. And I'd spend most of my older days as a widow.

[Berethor]

Grooming you in whatever he wants is one of the advantages of dating a young girl, the fact that she likely a virgin is also an advantage, who want a girl that been with other men? it disgusting. Yes you likely died much before you, but it also why a youth is a good thing, you have more time to live. Obviously when old dating young, it's a better deal for the older side, that's why I said getting a young girl as an older man is winning in life.

[Berethor]

I mean yes he likely died much before you, but it also why a youth is a good thing.

[Shrimpenjoyer]

Do you have a dad

[Asker]

@Shrimpenjoyer I do, but we haven't always had the best relationship.

[Asker]

Of course there are advantages to the man. Thats why I say I am grateful these men didn't take advantage of me. Because that would have messed me up to have a healthy relationship today. The men who reject and stay away from young impressionable girls are responsible.

[Berethor]

You still looking for a man 10 years older than you, so it not like you changed a lot.

[Asker]

Haha touche. Though I didn't know his age when we started talking and liking each other. It does add to his appeal though, I can't lie. We all have our nature. What we do, seperates us from beasts though. And this feels like a healthy relationship.

[Shrimpenjoyer]

I think you seeked and still kinda seek older men because you lacked a solid father figure

[LiamJHayden]

Some don't. I pretty much only date women who are older than I am, but I am not the norm and I cannot say for certain that in 20 years that will not flip.

[Daytoday79]

I think if it's legal and consensual and there's a real connection then it's fine.

[Anonymous]

33 and 23 is probably OK. A guy who is 38 would probably even be ok with a 23 yr. Old. But anything larger than a 10 yr. Age gap and you're likely to have trouble relating to eachother.

[jahaims]

Depends on the guy. One gender doesn't share the same preferences

[oldman26]

That is between you two, some will judge, but it is not their business

[Anonymous]

I would be hesitant to date someone who is 23 because I presumably have more life experience.

[Opinion Owner]

I am much wiser now, than when I was 23.

[Opinion Owner]

I am concerned they would be too naive and idealistic (relatively-speaking).

[Opinion Owner]

By the way, my age is less than a 10 year difference from 23.

[Zionne]

that's the reason tbh