Being more bold and decisive?

Question

A lot of women claim they want a man that knows what he wants. So I’ve been trying to be a little more bold and direct on dating apps. Still have yet to see how it goes but saying stuff like “respectfully, I want what you got” essentially, with maybe a fun emoji or a bit of a flirty comment to go with it.

I don't know, I just hate making my feelings known

HollyK21 · Accepted Answer

Every woman is different, so I could only speak for myself but if a guy slid in my dating app DMs talking about “respectfully I want what you got😉”, I’m going to think he’s mainly interested in one thing not matter how he tried to lighten it. Saying something is respectful doesn’t automatically make it that way, leaving such comments open to interpretation, both negatively or positively. So you could use those sort of lines if you’d like but I don't know how far it would get you.

Aside from that, I really feel as though you shouldn’t have this mentality of hating to share your feelings. That’s just an avoidant attachment style, whereas you think you’re safeguarding yourself emotionally (for varying reasons, whether it’s fear, ego, etc.), you’re actually creating a barrier between you and a genuine connection with a woman. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fine to be cautious, but when you build up your wall too high, then no one can get in. There needs to at least be a gate in that wall, which comes with both vulnerability and just being your authentic self.

When you’re trying to come up with “bolder” ways of approaching women, it can become unnatural and inauthentic. Just be yourself. There’s no rush to be suggestive with your flirting and you don’t need to be uncomfortably assertive about it under the guise that it’ll attract more women. Most of us don’t prioritize your suaveness over your character, your regular conversation, your consistency, effort, etc.. We care most about who you are as a person, and that’s hard to determine when you’re hiding it behind cheesy one liners and flirty emojis.

Abbycado · Accepted Answer

I think being honest is good. It will depend on the delivery and how someone interprets it, which is tough in written words sometimes.

You say things to mean them a certain way and someone else sees it as offensive or too forward.

Twodogs0525 · Accepted Answer

Smh, I must be popular with the ladies! I see three pink accounts left an opinion and every one of them have me blocked! 😭

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

assertiveness is only genuine you have it, or you don't

Nikki1989 · Answer

The words 'bold', 'direct' and 'dating apps' have no business being in the same sentence.  Epic fail!

MrChinaski · Answer

I would notch it up slightly further... but what do I know, I'm a bloke.

Being more bold and decisive?

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How do I come more bold and blunt?

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