How can I learn to be more affectionate with a new guy I’m seeing?

[Anonymous]

So I met this man at the gym. He came up to me and we started talking. Since day one I told him my communication is horrible on the sense of I don’t want to feel like a bother to someone I’m talking to. At first I thought we were talking just to play around basically I didn’t take it seriously because I’m like what if he doesn’t care neither. We have talked for 1 month and some days. I noticed that he is very affectionate but it’s hard for me to do the same. I need advise on how to be more affectionate.

Updates

1 mo

We have talked about me needing to be more affectionate towards him. He is really good at communicating and I feel like I’m not doing enough.

[Smart_Monk]

If he is talking to you for a month, he is probably happy enough with how you are. it's ok if you are not affectionate. Affectionate love belongs to the second chakra, the sacrum, which is two stories below the heart. You just need the kindness of the 4th chakra and you'll be ahead of any amount of affection. ㅤ

[Smart_Monk]

Contrary to the rude pink anon, i would ask, have you ever been very affectionate with other people before? Did you lose it in childhood or something?

[Asker]

No I’m usually not affectionate towards others. But since we have spoken about him wanting me to be more affectionate towards him it made me feel like that’s something that missing. He’s been affectionate and also a good communicator.

[Smart_Monk]

You said you are afraid of bothering him.

Try brainwashing yourself that there is nothing you can do to ever bother him. Even, try to bother him as much as possible.

[Asker]

Okay. Got it. It’s just since we have had this conversation before and I still haven’t changed. It made me feel like he would probably be like oh, she’s playing games or oh she’s really not changing. If that makes any sense

[jahaims]

You shouldn't be in a relationship if you don't know how to communicate.

[queenofcardio]

You mean you need to work on your communication skills. Maybe you communicate better in person, or maybe phone calls work better for you.

[Asker]

I’m better through text in which I feel like it doesn’t count. I’m bad in person and phone call.

[Anonymous]

If you haven’t figure it out by now you won’t.

[slatyb]

Maybe you need a different guy.

[Bykurs10]

U can spend time with him

[Anonymous]

Never give more than you receive

[Smart_Monk]

She already said she struggles with feeling like she is a bother. Try not to give bad advice. She already found the solution so it's nothing serious here but it could have sent someone down the wrong path.