Do you enjoy the process of dating new people?

[lilBigPotato]

I see a lot of people having a bad time going on dates, desperately trying to find prince/princess charming and then get frustrated if they don't.

I feel like people focus too much on the end goal instead of trying to enjoy the process of getting there.

Even if I hope to find a long term partner, if I go on a date the most important thing is that I have a good time that day. Whether the guy is worth a second date or not comes second.

I like getting to know new people and find out how their brain works. Discussions can get repetitive if you go on a lot of first dates, but they can also be the most exciting because you don't know what to expect from that person. Maybe I'll have some great time or maybe I just enjoyed my drink and got something new to talk about with my friends.

Either way it's important to not see it as a waste of time and money and just do something that you enjoy. If you don't, you probably just picked a bad date 🙃

Do you agree?

[HollyK21]

I feel like this mindset makes the most sense when you’re new to dating and don’t have many bad experiences under your belt, if any at all. As we get older though, I think it’s important to date with intention rather than the whimsy of just going with the flow, and seeing how it goes with no real expectation set.


My thing is, would I rather have 50 first dates, or one “last” first date? Would I rather face repeated disappointment (because if I’m dating man after man then obviously the one before the next didn’t work out), or try setting myself up for success by asking the right questions, upholding a standard, that way maybe I won’t have so many first dates?


If the end goal isn’t a direct focus, then what would be the point of dating? If I want to simply hang out, pick someone’s brain and enjoy the outing, I could just call my friends, family or something. But for most people, when they choose to pursue someone, it’s with hopes that eventually the connection will turn into more. So in my opinion, I’ve got to navigate that situation quite differently than the casual nature of simply having a good time no matter what.

[lilBigPotato]

Maybe I didn't explain myself well there, but of course the goal is to find someone long term and not get stuck in an endless loop of first dates just because I find enjoyment in those.
My long way that I'm not letting my mood getting ruined by those bad dates. I try to look at the positive things and still find some stuff I like so that I can look back at it without feeling depressed because it didn't work out again.
I feel like some people are so fixated on just finding the perfect partner that it makes them feel miserable the whole time instead of enjoying life a little bit more.

And of course I'm aware that people in different situations might have different priorities, a women in her 30s who still wants to have kids has less time to waste than me who doesn't want to think about kids for at least the next 10 years. But still, some people would benefit from a different attitude when it comes to dating.

[lilBigPotato]

*My long way that I'm not letting my mood getting ruined by those bad dates.

Autocorrect doing a fantastic job again 😒

[HollyK21]

Sorry I’m just getting back online and seeing your response! I get what you’re trying to say about people who center finding a relationship, there’s definitely more to life than that. In my opinion, they don’t understand that relationships are only meant to be extensions of an already fulfilling life. They can’t focus on other important milestones to their full potential, because they feel unaccomplished without marriages, babies, all the traditional things society has been conditioned to believe that if you don’t acquire by a certain age, you’re screwed. They really have to let that go and just enjoy life as single people.

When it comes to making the most of a date, here’s my logic: if you went about it the right way then you won’t look back at a first date with any sort of depression or sadness. Disappointment at best, but you should also be able to recognize that this connection wasn’t meant to work, and that person wasn’t a loss.

We mourn losses right, so what’s to lose about a guy/girl you knew a handful of days (because the first date should happen on the sooner side, not a month down the road)? The only feasible scenarios I could imagine looking back at multiple 1st dates with regrets are if they invested much more time than they should’ve, if they’ve slam date after date like a revolving door, or if they’ve got some doom and gloom mindset about not being in a relationship by a certain age while their peers are. But I think that’s something deeper to unpack than just a first date not working out. In fact they should probably take a break from trying to find a partner entirely, focus on themselves and let the relationship find them. But they don’t care for that sort of sensible logic.

[WhitneySnow]

I agree with you! I have a partner now, but when I didn’t I used to love dating. Don’t like dating apps though, from what my friends have said. I would much rather meet the person naturally, probably from within my school or similar social environments for working adults.

[lilBigPotato]

Oh yeah meeting people naturally is of course much better than burning at high speed through a lot of matches on dating apps.

[usernameobvious]

Or even the way you're dating like no tomorrow - no judgement, just observational comedy like a'la J Seinfeld

[Anonymous]

I enjoy the wide variety of women responses. I simply do not care much anymore. I never expect a date to amount to much and if it does i'm pleasantly surprised. I enjoy the many ways and about how women lie. I'm kind of past the point of taking it personal. You can also almost feel how desperate a woman is by how she lies and what she lies about. The last woman i went out with actually asked me to let her know if i wasn't going to show up please. She's ok with me canceling, just don't not show up. I had to laugh at that. And then she led when we met with that she was dogsitting so she might have to leave early (clearly leaving herself an escape plan in case the date went awry). But then she talked for like 2 hrs.😆 i almost wanted to tell her you don't have to make 💩 up to protect yourself. It just makes me laugh that this is where we're at as a society. That someone lies on a date, the other person knows they're lying because the lie is almost following a script. But the person who knows they're lying just accepts the lie. It's just like. If we both know you're lying, why lie?😆

[ohsheeT]

I dont like the word dating lol

Because if you date somebody it's kind of premeditated and you have to have things all planned out

I would much rather run into the person somewhere and ask if they want to go do something or just call that person up and say hey you want to go do something because anything and everything can change I'm very spontaneous and I hate planning things out like that I would rather just do it anything because it would always be fun but it would be different and you don't feel as if it's a date it's just spontaneous and it's the real you are the real me I guess I should say

[HawkPerception]

I do like getting to know someone new. It's always good when things are fresh and I never get tired of asking the same questions as a lot of people do.

But I also don't date often. It's a once in a blue moon occurrence so that's probably why it doesn't drain me as much as others. I can count the amount of dates I've been on with different people on my hands.

That being said, I'm definitely a one-girl kinda guy, so I always date with the intention of finding the one I can sail through life together.

[Finchie40]

Not really , I don’t like going on dates with a girl until I really get to know her first, over the phone or the internet , if her and I have good communication together , then I will ask her on a date , if not, then she stays in the friend zone

[Chazmatazz269]

Nope. That’s why i quit dating.

[OneViewpoint]

@lilBigPotato ,

You have the right attitude towards dating. I have the same attitude. Relax. Have a good time getting to know someone new. Don't throw a temper tantrum if things don't work out exactly the way you fantasized in your mind. I'm an introvert, my social skills aren't always the best. But Jesus fucking Christ, some people these days seem positively delusional when it comes to interacting with other people. They react like infantile children when things don't go their way. And they seem oblivious to the fact that other people may not see them as a great option either.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I'm not experienced in dating how you meant it, because I don't use dating sites/apps or offline equivalents.

Any girlfriend I met, I met her the organic way, because I don't like navigating in a scenario where both our intents are written on paper, as it feels artificial and unappealing to me. I understand the spirit of what you're saying, both the thrill and the repetitive aspect. Except I'm automatically discarding repetition because there aren't that many people with whom I'd entertain the talking phase. Imagining I was single all the time, I'd probably meet 1 girl per year I'm interested in, not more lol

[Iron_Man]

No it’s never fun at first, especially when you don’t know the person it’s like a job interview. You Don’t know if you’re gonna be compatible what you have in common how many times has she’s been around the block is she clean and pure? Is she an alcoholic? Does she do drugs? Does she work and then they’re interviewing you you really don’t know if the person is just being nice or if they like you the early stages are very difficult and it takes a long time to break the ice. It could take three months to feel more stable with that person and if they’re consistent on going out on dates. I Particularly don’t like the stress involved with Meeting new people Especially in these times

[PeachyPie93]

Nah I don't like them, that's why I don't bother anymore. Why would I want to ask and be asked the same mundane questions over and over, plus I don't keep guys as friends.. so its pretty pointless and I rather go out with friends or do something else lol

[usernameobvious]

Easier to just wait for luck or the swipe apps 😈

[Zack-Bann]

I actually do.
There’s something cathartic about getting to know a whole new person while getting to see how much your own image has grown since the last time you went on a date.


That being said, it is tedious if you have to do it all the time.


Finding a worthwhile person remains the ideal outcome

[Ill_made_Knight]

I think a lot of peopple have pre-expectations. They've already dreamt their perfect world and are looking for someone to fill the role they've already imagined. It really shouldn't be that way. The best time and place are here and now, so if both can just enjoy the moment and appreciate what the other has to offer and allow them to be themselves then it's a lot of fun. I guess there's no way really to completely do away with the dates that don't go well, but all in all yeah, it's fun.

[CherryLove007]

The "process" sucks. I hate phony baloney talk. Everyone tries so hard to sell themselves with new people. I value authentic dates with a sure fire plan that gets my mind happy or something adrenaline filled.

[CherryLove007]

Also if your not having fun your not doing it right. lol

[molonski2]

I agree 100 % , people are too dam intense , no matter what age , just enjoy the moment , no pressure , Sabai Sabai , the criteria some set is beyond ludicrous.

How you do think serendipity occurs? People think too much , relax.

[7Phoenix7]

I agree with you…

If I meet someone, and we go out… I’m not expecting him to be my future husband or anything like that… I’m just enjoying the moment of getting to know someone while doing something fun.

[usernameobvious]

I think having a long time partner who's been ones first and only (sweetheart sure) their whole lives or their whole 20s plus/etc

That's surely better than banging randoms 😋😈😅

[usernameobvious]

@lilBigPotato rather than banging randoms - I wish I copyrighted ©️ that lol 😈😋🤭
Now the exception is if the long term lover cheats or turns out to be a prick - all the time wasted, women to, it takes two

[usernameobvious]

*goes for the woman too

[sage2021]

It depends on how I met him. If I met him purely by accident and we got to talking and had a great conversation, I think I would really look forward to a first date with that guy.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

I enjoy the process if I know the person on some level. I don't go on first date with a stranger, I'd prefer someone I already know/friends with.

[beenherebefore]

No. As someone who's been in a committed relationship for four years I could never go back to dating. Stability is important to me and the early stages of dating are too inconsistent to me.

[dudeinohio]

I hate new beginnings. You never know if a relationship will develop or things will fall apart. First dates are the worst. While I definitely enjoy first dates, a lot of stress comes along with that.

[Nikki1989]

Yes, I love it. I look forward to meeting new people every day at work.

[Nikki1989]

Sorry, I went off on a tangent here.

[ernest1]

Honesty as they say saves everybody's time, this principle can save us from lots of disappointment and unrealistic expectations. re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

[abc3643]

I am old. I would never date again even if I was a widower.

[MikeTheBartender]

Yep, first dates are always fun... Especially when they turn into first breakfast or coffee together the first morning ;)

[Smileygirl2000]

Yes and no. It's a but nerve racking starting over and determining if the person is safe or not

[usernameobvious]

Exactly! Any one of those every so many guys could be trouble or worse scary 😰

[usernameobvious]

Same goes for men dating women 😂 eventually he'll come across Gold diggers or criminal records types

[slatyb]

I do. I would buy a woman dinner just for the conversation.

[MerakSahibi]

Meeting someone new, flirting, and that first time having sex are the most exciting parts anyway

[Shrimpenjoyer]

You can know people without dating.

Dating isn't for "knowing" different characters.

You might be careful with it since it can take a toll on you

[ProbablyClueless]

I can't say that I enjoy dating, honestly. Too many painful experiences.

[MrChinaski]

'Hell is other people'

Jean-Paul Sartre.

[Jamie05rhs]

See, that's the problem. Y'all go on dates in order to blab about the guy to your friends afterwards. That's why men aren't asking y'all out anymore.

[Jamie05rhs]

(Well, maybe they're asking YOU; I don't know. You are only 21, after all.)

[TonyMetal___86]

So you don't go on a date saying: "i prolly don't like you", that's what's written on your profile 😂😂

[AngryCarl3]

No, dating has always been a pointless ordeal.

[genericname85]

No. Cause it usually leads to nowhere for me personally so it's kind of a waste of time.

[DishLady]

Meh. Depends.

[Anonymous]

Nah, had two relationships with girls I already knew, tried online for a year and got no interest then quit the whole game for life

[kitty91996]

Not really because there are a bunch of weirdos online.

[msc545]

No, it's actually very uncomfortable and mostly not worth doing.

[Matadorius]

Couldn't bother to just meet endless number of people only for getting to know them

[MasterKS]

My dating change into sex quickly so I enjoy that.

[Abbycado]

Nah, not the process. The end result.

[Abbycado]

Bahahaha look at the bitter ancient anon XD

What a loser.

[Nikki1989]

He would be hilarious if he weren't so miserably pathetic.

[FrodoSkywalker007]

Dating in general is very complicated

[usernameobvious]

You're not wrong there - the Force lol

[exitseven]

When I was young I didn't

[Ariesman81Nshiiit]

Translation: I'm in my hoe phase.

[Danny_dan92]

At my age? It’s exhausting honestly

[eagle1951]

what is dating? lol

[Looser_Shah_98]

Who the fuck on earth date nowadays?

[Anonymous]

I never had a date...

[robocop666]

dont like it at all

[Samflowerrr]

Hate it

[_Jenny_]

Kinda yeah

[Anonymous]

No, I hate it.

[WhiteBoyChill]

I don’t no