I know that this is supposed to be a yes or no poll, but I can't help but say a few words about your current situation. From a guy's perspective I can tell you a few reasons why we won't ask someone out, even if we find them drop dead gorgeous. First and foremost some guys, not many but some, have fragile egos. it takes them a very long time to get up the balls to ask someone out that they think is attractive, and on top of that if that person says no it's like their entire world just got shot down and sent to hell. For that reason they may not ask someone out that they're attracted to if they feel like they themselves are not worth her time. Another reason has more to do with legal implications, such as dating coworkers, maybe it's more of a teacher-student relationship even though both are of the same age and above the age of consent. Regardless guys will not ask a woman out if we feel like we're going to spend time in jail because of it. even worse than that is the prospect of losing our career. A couple other possibilities are just the obvious ones, he might think that she's crazy, or maybe not intelligent enough to hold a decent conversation, it could be that he's not looking for a relationship and just wants to fuck buddy. The bottom line is that in my opinion regardless of your type you never know what their type is. I've actually found that I myself I'm a lot of women's type, and have even been flattered and complemented by some women saying that I am the ideal type of man that every woman wants. Personally I don't see it. I'm pretty short for my gender, only 5'6" tall. I'm 50 lbs overweight, I enjoyed cooking, and teaching kids. Not a manly man, or at least not as much as I'd like to be. But still a man none the less. I do it needs to get done as long as it's within my means to be able to accomplish. I'm not a bodybuilder, model, or billionaire playboy. I'm just me. But from what I can tell just me is more than enough to impress many different women. Some of which I would have otherwise thought we're completely out of my league since they were a perfect 10 in my book. kind, emotional, intelligent, supportive, self-sufficient, short, petite, smooth soft fair skin, beautiful long blond hair, gorgeous sapphire eyes, and a tiny waist. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm married I might have actually pursued some of them in a relationship. Some of them actually even continued to pursue me even after I told them I was married. Obviously I had to ask them to stop, and they reluctantly honored my request. My advice is to ask the guys that you are interested in what their reasons are for not wanting to ask someone out. Try not to make it sound like you're talkin about you and him. Then after you've gathered enough information try to make it so that you meet the requirements that they stated. Hope this helps.
No, I find it too stressful. I'm lucky if they even say yes.
Not particularly. Who likes being rejected and/or friendzoned all the time? I sure don't.
Yes, I know the only way to find out if someone likes you is to ask. I have, especially when I thought the guy was interested in me as well.
I'm trying to think of a time I asked out a guy and he said yes-
Never 🤦🏼♀️
I've come to the conclusion that I'm either that ugly or unattractive, or have bad luck with dating.
No way i could never think of you as unattractive. I know for me i would love to be with a hot girl that hits me right on the right places. But unfortunately she shows interest right away and i am terrified. Because it is now real. I would have to give up the protection i had of just being a friend. Its not right and its not what i want but it happens. Thats why i have been trying get over that feeling because i want to live my life not waste away with could've, shoulda, wouldas. Oh well lol
@COMMODOREII So wait, you're scared if a guy is assertive and asks you out first, even if you like her? Why?
That means we REALLY like you, so that is good right?
I always hear guys on here wishing women would be more assertive and ask them out-
Okay, we exist! Yet when we try to, we are usually rejected or the guy refuses. Lol. So guys help us women out here: you want us to ask you out more, yet the ones of us that do, you snub us 😑
Y'all complain about being rejected and friendzoned, women deal with the SAME issue!
Then we are in the same boat aren't we? Cause i would ask a great girl and i get snubbed. It doesn't help you know.
"I've come to the conclusion that I'm either that ugly or unattractive, or have bad luck with dating."
You're a woman. If you're getting rejected all the time, you either A) have WAAAAY too high of standards, like asking out Michael B. Jordan and Chris Hemsworth or something. Or B) you're acting a certain way to make guys feel like there's something wrong with you. Or C) you're not a woman (born with a penis and lives "as a woman.") Or maybe even D) the guys around your area are just sh*ty options.
@MCheetah
"If you're getting rejected all the time, you either A) have WAAAAY too high of standards, like asking out Michael B. Jordan and Chris Hemsworth or something. Or 😎 you're acting a certain way to make guys feel like there's something wrong with you. Or C) you're not a woman (born with a penis and lives "as a woman.") Or maybe even D) the guys around your area are just sh*ty options." Well let's see!
A) Nope, I have very reasonable standards. I just don't put up with fboys, guys just after sex, or ones that play games
B) I'm tomboyish, which probably explains why most guys prefer me as a girl buddy than a girlfriend
C) Last I checked I was completely a female, lol
D) Guys in my area don't even talk to me if that tells you anything, never have.
I live in a small town so most men my age are: already married, taken, or moved out of state or larger cities (the job market and social scene here sucks), or they're flat out uninterested in me.
So... meh. I'm just going to stay single, lol
@Cynicaldreamer hey if it was possible would you like to go on a date with me? 😆
@Cynicaldreamer
Get on Match. com, Hinge, and Tinder and talk to nearby guys in big cities. You'll have literally hundreds of options in your inbox on day one.
@COMMODOREII Are you asking me out sir?
Lol, I don't date anyone on here, that is a rule I set from since I've been on here, no offense. Besides you don't know anything about the real me
I would like to know. Besides it was more of getting to know. Nothing too serious. Although who knows lol i do like you are in healthcare so we have something's in common to talk about. 😎
@MCheetah I've done dating apps in my 20s: absolutely NO hits or luck! Even when I messaged guys first... yes, really.
So nope, I gave up on that nonsense. I'm proof that women do get rejected on dating apps
I hate asking guys out because they always reject me. I once had a guy say oh we should go out when I said sure when do you want to go out he stopped talking to me and started to avoid me.
I've had that happen before too
Wow that sucks.
Opinion
28Opinion
u I am very confident with taking the lead in relationships and I have always been the one who asked.
I hate asking people out on dates since the person who asks is supposed to pay
Hahaha @martinxdenver
Always happy to make people laugh
No. Who likes getting told they're ugly/creepy/too short/bothering someone?
I had a lunch with some friends on a Saturday a few weeks ago when this topic came up. One of them, a flirty young career woman, liked men chasing her and all the classic dating stuff. The other, a typical left-leaning millennial and friend-of-a-friend, did the typical left-leaning millennial "you're not allowed to talk to me; that's sexual harassment (unless he's hot)" bullsh*t that I rolled my eyes at and avoiding saying mean things to her about. So I asked both of them "Okay, when IS the appropriate time to ask a woman out, then?" The traditional female friend replied instantly "Anytime, baby!" before flirtatiously growling. The left-leaning millennial couldn't give an answer whatsoever, but took the opportunity to mention how much she's "into women more, anyway" (more eye-rolling at this walking cringe factory). But the responses I got were "Anytime" and an implied "never."
How the f*ck do men even end up in relationships nowadays if THIS is what it's like to deal with single women? Our parents had it so much easier.
I remember asking a girl out at primary school, which would of made me about 5 or 6 (I've no idea what kind of date a 5 or 6 year goes on or what I hoped to achieve by having a girlfriend at that age... surely being friends would of been sufficient at that age lol). I was rejected and it must of stuck in my consciousness as I still can recall her name and the fact we were in the queue for the school canteen. So that early memory has probably been the reason that my whole adult life I've been gripped by a sense of fear every time I've asked anyone on a date lol
I don’t, I do fine with approaching and flirting with women but when it comes time to ask out on a date it’s usually an awkward rejection, or it’s a “No” inside a yes, meaning they’ll give me their number and just avoid. I know they probably just don’t like me or aren’t interested but just a polite no thank you is fine. I think if people were more respectful and straightforward it wouldn’t be such an ordeal for me. Also I have noticed attitudes change as I’ve gotten older.
I don’t. I just kind of wait for it to happen naturally, which probably isn’t the best way. It seems that the majority of men that approach strangers are catcalling and being a bit disgusting. Most normal men don’t approach stranger- they wait for a situation.
I don't asking people on dates. I don't like that I need to be the one because I'm a man. Besides that I get rejected so many times that I lost count years ago and stopped trying to ask people out on a date. I don't feel like being rejected all the time so I'll just wait and stay single for a while
No because now with social media and guys acting like man whores with their shirts off, girls gravitate towards guys on social media and in person. Even though I am in grad school, in shape, decent looking, good hygiene, pretty chill/down to earth, I can stand up for myself and be assertive, I can make good food, I can make her laugh, engage in interesting topics in a civilized sense and etc. that's not good enough. Why would I ask out girls if she's just going to say no? It's a waste of my precious time.
yep, I can ask men out on dates. Women can also take the initiative to find a man they like to date, as long as I like the feeling of being with him. If I am single, I can also hang out or date someone I like. Many people now use social apps to find people they like. cougr. net is a dating site for mature women to date young men
Overall, yes. I will admit that I’m the type of guy that genuinely enjoys talking to women and likes the “hunt” (the thrill of approaching new women).
When I’m on a down streak with pursuing women, I get a bit discouraged. But I shake it off eventually.
I don't, because whenever i asked someone out on date, i got rejected, so I don't like asking
What do you think might be the problem? Just curious.
It could be everything, but i would probably say because im under average looking guy so im not really interesting to girls
"Beauty is only skin deep" is what major opinions here say.
Guess what, social psychology disagrees.
Yea everyone say beauty isn't important, while when it comes to dating looks it is most important thing will you date someone or not
"What is beautiful is good" effect. Plus beauty signifies good health too according to evolutionary perspective.
Yea i know that, but still if you don't have natural beauty, not even greatest health can't help you then
That's very true.
Anyhow. I'm sure your a great guy. Only a matter of time people realise that.
Good luck.
Yea, i don't think so, with every year passes i have less and less hope for that
Don't say that! I'm sure you've other attractive knacks going on.
Im very thankful you saying that, but i need to stay realistic and true to myself and say i don't think it will happen
My ugliest friends have boyfriends! So perhaps its not all about looks.
Yea but i don't want to be disrespectful and to insult anyone but it is easier for under average looking girl to find boyfriend, then under average guy
How so?
Because guys think with their small brain and just want to have sex or girlfriend, while girls are smart and they won't settle with nothing under her level
My mom was very attractive. She settled for an average looking nerd.
Then that guy is very lucky very
I feel this way too. I feel like I will just get shut down, they will just make up a dumb excuse.
Yep. Got selected for modeling thanks to her.
But here's the thing - I'm sure my social skills are much lower than yours.
Social psychology says those are way more important
My social skills are maybe 3 out of 10, so i don't think it is much better than you
I feel you anon asker
That you can work on
It is hard when you don't have friends
Asker and Evil, do you guys see what I see here? You're opposite genders and still relate. Know why?
Because people like you guys exist. You just gotta look harder.
We exist, but nobody really cares about us, they would rather dream of beautiful girl/guy that they can't have, then look at us
Then date your kind, sweetheart.
Yea but my kind represent maybe 1% of entire population, you need extreme luck to find your kind in this world
True that. Just look harder and harder.
Don't give in. Society is ugly, you're not!
I won't, but those in society will find skmeone and be happy someone, while me and my kind will probably still be alone
Then you can have a club and I'll join.
For sure 😁
I'm too shy/nervous. I only ask maybe few people to hang out but not on dates.
If you were a guy, you'd be called insecure and told you deserve to be single.
@Skankhunte42 I've already been told those sort of things before.
I'm shy so have never asked, got by OK with this attitude when I was younger, not so sure ill get away with it now though...
Not really, no. I don't ask people on dates because that gives them the power to decide whether we continue to go on dates or not. It's putting them on a pedestal. I prefer a girl asks me out anyway, and at least show some effort rather than me putting all the effort in.
I do not enjoy it, always stressful. And most of the time the response sucks. Or I go on a date, and it feels like a I'm interviewing the woman.. I feel like I show intrest, but intrest isn't showing back. So I kinda gave up on that.
I don't date.
But I'm surprisingly good with that "asking around" stuff haha so I guess so.
It is a numbers game. Keep trying (safely).
If you are nervous about asking, it is good. You are in touch with yourself. It means something to you to be accepted, or rejected.
I like dates, there supposed to be fun, no? It's just the rejecting that i prefer to scrap
No. I never ask anyone out. Mainly because I have really strict standards and I don't want to go on a date with someone just to find out that they're not qualified. Because then you have to break the bad news to them and that's awkward.
Life can't be fully experienced without taking risks. I don't think avoidance is the best strategy and breaking up the news becomes less hurtful once you learn how to do it with time. If you wanted to win the lottery you got to buy the ticket first 😉.. I mean to find her you have to be looking for her and asking women out on the first place.
Having requirements should be a guide and not a checklist. The connection you can establish with less than a perfect woman is far more fulfilling than having a perfect woman with no love. People used to get their families to arrange and find a partner through a strict list of requirements. but that takes love and emotions out. Marriage became a duty you fulfill for your society or religion. Yes, lasting and durable but also in many cases sad.
@mindNsoul But here's the thing: I only want to marry someone if they're a virgin (like me). But I don't think it's right to reject someone because of that. It can hurt the other person's feelings. So I'd rather reject them without even talking to them, so that way they don't know they're being rejected.
It is something people put on dating sites. The information is offered voluntarily, of course.
@mindNsoul Yep! There are questions for that on OkCupid.
Just invite them to do something you were already doing.
Guys ask me out and pay for the entire date as well ! I do not ask guys out for that is not lady like and I am a lady ! thanks
I don't enjoy it but I DO enjoy being in a good relationship or having a great date. So it's a price worth paying!
BS, you're a girl. I doubt you've ever asked out another person ever.
Actually I'm always afraid to ask a guy cause I expect them to say no.
guys who think that are called losers
Meh. It's like a chore.
Yes, it is
I don't enjoy asking women out, but I'll do it occasionally.
No, I don't. I just wish I had more confidence to do it
Yes and no I don’t know how she react if I asked her out.
Be glad that as a woman this is not expected of you
its gone bad for me too many times. I want a woman to ask me out for once.
having to take the lead and initiate, is probably the only thing i hate about being born male
It's a dirty job but someone's got to do it.
I enjoy it a lot. It's fun.
I don't like the dating process at all
yep.
Its s adventurer
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