She went silent before my flight to meet her—did she get cold feet and should I move on?

[Anonymous]

I’ve known this girl since late May 2024 til now. We met online, I live in Canada she lives in the U. S. by flight it’s only 1 and a half hrs, maybe 2 away. We talk fairly regularly so in late May I booked a flight to be home town. She was cool with it. She’s showed major hints of liking me, even went as far as showing me ai pics of how our kids would look, she thinks I’m a terrific guy overall and admits she’s nervous and shy to meet.

But here’s the thing I haven’t heard back from her since Sunday, she a nurse so I know her schedule is hectic. But it’s been over 5 days. I texted her if everything is alright but no answer. Did she get cold feet and is avoiding me now? I booked the flight, the hotel isn’t booked yet. But if she flops and I go to her home state in the U. S. and she doesn’t meet, should I just end things for good with this girl?

[Purpleronnie]

I have too many questions , I feel like my head may explode


Call me old fashioned , traditional , out of touch etc but why on gods green earth in the name of the holy saints would you talk to a woman for 2 years without a face to face in person meeting?


I mean there is trust , then there is complacency, then there is misguided and then some where way down the line after that there is , in my opinion of course what you seem to have done?


WTAF?

[Asker]

We met online, and gradually my feelings increased, and I had stuff in my life I had to do, and I figured even though I hadn't visited her town before, im willing to now, thats the gist of it.

[Purpleronnie]

I mean did you FaceTime or equivalent , phone calls?

[Asker]

i never face timed with her, she has sent me pictures of herself and yes it is her im 100% sure, but we never talked on the phone, sent voice msgs and she's more of a texter.

[Purpleronnie]

Well I get that you trust but that’s where we start to differ my friend , that’s a no no for me , face time or f*** off …. So why prolonged chat over 2 years then.. was there gaps when you feel out of touch or something?

[Asker]

she seems to like me, she's like I've had dreams about you, and she used ai of how our kids would look, she asked for a promise ring, i do like her. so im stuck now, do i change my flight instead of going to ohio, change my flight to chicago to see family and watch a cubs game at wrigley or do i go to ohio and say im here. haven't talked to her since Sunday but she said she's down to meet. But to go silent, i just dont know.

[Asker]

flight i can't cancel, at least i dont think, might be able to change it with 2 wks remaining, haven't booked a hotel yet so i didn't spend money on that.

[Purpleronnie]

I feel for you but I cannot tell you what to do but I wouldn’t be booking any flights to see a woman I’d never seen and spoke to on a video call that verifiably was the woman I was speaking to

[Asker]

i get that but many people in life have met just through chat rooms even before smart phones existed. Im not big on face time calls, like i said we have sent voice msgs. I do care about her - i even bought a tshirt of her favourite team ohio buckeyes, a mug of her favourite team, some books, one ounce silver coin and something else for her birthday back in April that i shipped from Canada to ohio and when she was sick in may and had no money (she lives alone) i said i got you and used my credit card to buy like $100usd of groceries for her so she felt better, when she insisted to pay me back i said nah im good dont worry about it. but if she flops on this meeting because i can't cancel my flight it seems then yea that really breaks my trust and if thats the case i can't see myself pursuing her anymore.

[Purpleronnie]

I’m so sorry , you have been through such a lot with her … it’s almost like you are in some pseudo romance with her … I guess it’s foreign to me because it’s not me to do that. I hope she gets back in touch and has a verifiable explanation for the lack of contact

[Asker]

Yea, I might call her in a bit